Guy: I suck today.
Girl: Depending on how much you suck, i might suck today too.
Troy, Michigan
Overheard by: pengie
Guy: I suck today.
Girl: Depending on how much you suck, i might suck today too.
Troy, Michigan
Overheard by: pengie
Female student #1: You sure you want me to feed you this banana?
Female student #2: Get on with it, will you?
Female student #1: This thing's pretty big. I wouldn't want to choke you.
Female student #2: Don't worry about it. I've had much bigger.
Youngish professor: (raises eyebrows)
Female student #2: You think I'm kidding? I've had some pretty big ones. Think you can give me a bigger one?
Youngish professor (blushing): Um, possibly.
Female student #2: Well, I'd like to see that.
Female student #3: Um, are we still talking about bananas here?
Classroom
UCSC, California
Girl to friend: You know, you should just stop face-fucking everyone all the time. Then you'd be fine.
Christchurch
New Zealand
Young dude: Man, my jaw hurts.
Chick: Must have been all that sucking last night.
Young dude: Gotta be from something. Plus, I don't remember anything, so…
Quakertown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Ken
Girl to guy: What's so safe and innocent about my lips glued to your penis?
Cleveland Heights, Ohio
Overheard by: Spence
Latina: So, this one time I was giving this guy a blowjob, but I just ate a tuna fish sandwich like 20 minutes before, and the whole time I’m like, ‘Don’t shoot that shit in my mouth ’cause I’ll puke,’ right? Then he totally came in my mouth!
White dude: Haha, nice!
Latina: Naw, man — it was nasty! I fuckin’ puked tuna fish all over this dude’s dick and balls. It got all in his pubes and everything!
White dude: Wow.
Latina: But yeah, I give good head.
Buffalo Billiards
Washington, DC
Overheard by: procrastiNate
Chocolate store girl: You’re a dicksucker. You know that? I mean, why bother with you? You seen my ass, you know I’m good-looking. You’re-.
Guy in Goofy costume, muffled: Whatever. There are other tits. I’ll be just fine regardless. And just so you know [lowers voice as kids approach] you’re gonna get us both fired if you keep this shit up.
Chocolate store girl, loudly: Fuck you, and fuck your fucking ass! I hope you get fired! Then you can go home and suck your asshole!
Guy in Goofy costume, losing it: Better than sucking your ex’s dick when you’re supposed to be working.
Chocolate store girl, stunned: Who told you that?!
Guy in Goofy costume: Jen, after I fucked her!
[Girl walks into the shop quickly and goes into back room looking like she’s going to cry. Goofy goes back to wandering around aimlessly, waving to little kids.]
Disney World
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: after that, my g/f and i applied for jobs there
Drunk girl to another: I am going to suck it so good he is going to pay back all my loans!
Bar, Capital Hill
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Katie
Boy standing in line for smoothie: That better not be sparkle lips gloss.
Girl standing with him, applying lip gloss: It is, but it has like too many sparkles.
Boy: That's even worse! (pause) My one friend woke up with a ring of sparkles around his… well, you know…
University Fair
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: ashley
