…And Potentially Fuck You?

Skater: Come on. Hang out.
Murray Hill-looking PR-type chick: Fuck you! You're a fag! You'd rather hang with your loser friends in this fucking rat hole? I would have fucked you, if you just came to Manhattan but…
Skater: C'mon hang. It'll be cool.
Murray Hill-looking PR-type chick: Oh, fuck this. I'm taking this cab. Have fun sucking your buddy's cock, asshole!
Skater, after watching her leave: Fucking bitch! (pauses, then asks perfect stranger) Hey, can I buy a cigarette from you?

–12th St & Bedford

Posted on November 19, 2022
BJs, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Friendship, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Insults, Penis, Sex, Skaters, Smoking, Strangers

The 21st Century Equivalent Of “I Bite My Thumb at You, Sir”

13-year-old skateboarder to friends: Suck my dick!
Friend #1: I like you, you're my friend, and I'll invite you to my birthday party, but I won't suck your dick.
Friend #2: You provoke me with your boner.

–A Train

Overheard by: devon

Posted on April 4, 2021
Birthdays, BJs, Celebrations/Parties, Erections, Friends, Friendship, Insults, On the Subway, Penis, Skaters, Teens

I’m More Offended That It’s By Hamilton’s House

Two skateboard guys make as much noise as possible to get a chick’s attention. She doesn’t take the bait.

Skateboy #1: Whatever! Forget her!
Skateboy #2: Hey, baby!

She turns.

Skateboy #2: Let’s not make this into a rape thing, y’know?

–142nd & Convent

Posted on July 4, 2020
Harlem & Morningside Heights, Pick-up Lines, Rape, Skaters

The Only Insult that Hasn’t Lost Its Sting in This Town

Skater thug: Yo, watch where you’re fuckin’ goin’ before I fuck your ass up!
Suit: Shut up, you Kevin Federline-looking punk!

–2/3 train, 42nd St

Overheard by: Tommy Wooh

Posted on July 23, 2018
About Celebrities, Insults, On the Subway, Skaters, Suits

Unless Somebody Dares Us

Woman to teen skater punks splashing in fountain: You know there's birdshit in that, right?
Lead teen skater punk: We're not drinking it!

–55th St Water Fountain

Overheard by: A little purel never hurt

Posted on February 28, 2016
Advice, Birds, Drinks, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Poop, Punks, Skaters, Stupidity, Teens, Women

Juvenile Homicide: Not Fully Punishable

Round ghetto girl: Skateboardin’: not cool.
Skater: Childhood obesity: not cool.

–125th St station

Overheard by: Solar

Posted on December 7, 2014
Fat People, Idiots, Insults, Skaters, Stupidity, Subway Stations

Wednesday One-Liners. (And by That We Mean Exactly What You Think We Mean.)

Hipster to friend having problems with ATM card: Maybe it's for normal people and you're just abnormally large.

–Village ATM

Overheard by: rafa

Overenthusiastic father of new skater: Oh, you know, it's her first time, so I wanted to make sure that I was there to help her through it so that it'd be extra-special for her.

–Wollman Rink, Central Park

Overweight woman: Where's Wang? Guys, where's Wang?

–Hard Rock Cafe

Tourist mom: It's not big enough to impress me.

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Not The Empire State, Surely

Loud woman: It was a three-legged pussy!

–Union Square Subway Station

Overheard by: Rachel K

Modern literature professor, after ending class early: Well, that's it, I've blown my load.

–Columbia University

Posted on August 30, 2014
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Central Park, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Cum, Dads, Diet/Weight, Fat People, Grand Central, Height, Hipsters, Moms, Money & Class, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Penis, Questions, Sexuality, Skaters, Street, Students, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Teachers/Professors, The Village, Tourism, Tourists, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

You Can't Handle the Wednesday One-Liner!

Girls on bench: Is US weekly magazine, like, the only one that's true?

–Central Park

Man on cell, crossing street: And I told that Jewish cunt that everything she's heard about black men is true, and I'm gonna stick my foot in her fucking mouth.

–46th St & Madison Ave

Bum conversing with Bible-toting teens: Yes, it's in the Bible… But is it true?

–Union Square

Skater boy: Most things aren't true.

–72nd St & Amsterdam

Posted on September 15, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Central Park, Christianity, Christians, Girls, Hobos, Insults, Judaism, Lies, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Parks, Pop Culture, Questions, Race, Skaters, Street, Stupidity, Teens, Threats, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Violence, Wednesday One-Liners

…In the True Spirit Of Easter.

Teen skater #1: Dude, I wanted to chill on Easter but my mom said I had to go to church.
Teen skater #2: You should've said “mom, fuck church!”
Teen skater #1: Dude, if I had said “fuck,” I wouldn't be alive. I would've been under the couch. My mama would've stuffed me in a bag… Put some incense on that shit so it wouldn't smell.

–6 Train

Overheard by: trying not to laugh

Posted on June 4, 2010
Church, Death, Insults, Murder, On the Subway, Parents, Sensory Experiences, Skaters, Teens, Wishes & desires

…And My Dealer Always Gives Me an A+

Loud student, looking at intricate homework assignment on projector: Who has the time to do that, seriously?!
Skater dude #1, muttering: Shit, I have the time to do that, I just spend it getting fucked up.
Skater dude #2: Shit man, we all do!

–School of Visual Arts

Overheard by: art school has bros too

Posted on December 12, 2009
Education, Questions, School, School and studying, Sensory Experiences, Skaters, Students, Time

Skaters