Skater: Come on. Hang out.
Murray Hill‐looking PR‐type chick: Fuck you! You’re a fag! You’d rather hang with your loser friends in this fucking rat hole? I would have fucked you, if you just came to Manhattan but…
Skater: C’mon hang. It’ll be cool.
Murray Hill‐looking PR‐type chick: Oh, fuck this. I’m taking this cab. Have fun sucking your buddy’s cock, asshole!
Skater, after watching her leave: Fucking bitch! (pauses, then asks perfect stranger) Hey, can I buy a cigarette from you?

–12th St & Bedford

13‐year‐old skateboarder to friends: Suck my dick!
Friend #1: I like you, you’re my friend, and I’ll invite you to my birthday party, but I won’t suck your dick.
Friend #2: You provoke me with your boner.

–A Train

Overheard by: devon

Two skateboard guys make as much noise as possible to get a chick’s attention. She doesn’t take the bait. 

Skateboy #1: Whatever! Forget her!
Skateboy #2: Hey, baby!

She turns.

Skateboy #2: Let’s not make this into a rape thing, y’know?

–142nd & Convent

Skater thug: Yo, watch where you’re fuckin’ goin’ before I fuck your ass up!
Suit: Shut up, you Kevin Federline‐looking punk!

−−2÷3 train, 42nd St

Overheard by: Tommy Wooh

Woman to teen skater punks splashing in fountain: You know there’s birdshit in that, right?
Lead teen skater punk: We’re not drinking it!

–55th St Water Fountain

Overheard by: A little purel never hurt

Round ghetto girl: Skateboardin’: not cool.
Skater: Childhood obesity: not cool.

–125th St station 

Overheard by: Solar

Hipster to friend having problems with ATM card: Maybe it’s for normal people and you’re just abnormally large.

–Village ATM

Overheard by: rafa

Overenthusiastic father of new skater: Oh, you know, it’s her first time, so I wanted to make sure that I was there to help her through it so that it’d be extra‐special for her.

–Wollman Rink, Central Park

Overweight woman: Where’s Wang? Guys, where’s Wang?

–Hard Rock Cafe

Tourist mom: It’s not big enough to impress me.

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Not The Empire State, Surely

Loud woman: It was a three‐legged pussy!

–Union Square Subway Station

Overheard by: Rachel K

Modern literature professor, after ending class early: Well, that’s it, I’ve blown my load.

–Columbia University

Girls on bench: Is US weekly magazine, like, the only one that’s true?

–Central Park

Man on cell, crossing street: And I told that Jewish cunt that everything she’s heard about black men is true, and I’m gonna stick my foot in her fucking mouth.

–46th St & Madison Ave

Bum conversing with Bible‐toting teens: Yes, it’s in the Bible… But is it true?

–Union Square

Skater boy: Most things aren’t true.

–72nd St & Amsterdam

Teen skater #1: Dude, I wanted to chill on Easter but my mom said I had to go to church.
Teen skater #2: You should’ve said “mom, fuck church!“
Teen skater #1: Dude, if I had said “fuck,” I wouldn’t be alive. I would’ve been under the couch. My mama would’ve stuffed me in a bag… Put some incense on that shit so it wouldn’t smell.

–6 Train

Overheard by: trying not to laugh

Loud student, looking at intricate homework assignment on projector: Who has the time to do that, seriously?!
Skater dude #1, muttering: Shit, I have the time to do that, I just spend it getting fucked up.
Skater dude #2: Shit man, we all do!

–School of Visual Arts

Overheard by: art school has bros too