How Was Your Halloween, New York?

Guy: It was a good night! We saw the parade…we got drunk…I made out with a pregnant nun…

–Ben’s Pizza, Spring Street

Overheard by: A. Yanishevsky

Drunk girl: Hey, Red #2, where’s the rest of the pack?
Red crayon guy: Ooh, you’re a regular Dean Martin, aren’t you?

–Puck Fair, Lafayette Street

Guy on cell: Trick or treat, fucking witch!

–20th & Park

Overheard by: Pedro Lebron

Guy #1: I know it’s Halloween and this is the West Village, but do you faggots have to block the entire sidewalk?
Guy #2: Oh go sit on a cock.
Guy #1: Yeah, you’d like that.

–Christopher & Bedford

Overheard by: Adam Nathan

Chick on cell: Wait, wait, he put what where?…Uh huh…Well it was
Halloween last night…And then he did what? He ate it? That must have tasted like shit, literally!

–F train

Hipster girl: You know that guy Adam? That I….screwed? Well, he got arrested on Halloween for having a gun that looked like a gun.

–Mercer & Waverly

Posted on August 27, 2026
About Celebrities, Celebrations/Parties, Comebacks, Compliments, Cops, Drinking & Drunk People, Food, Insults, NYC Geography, Penis, Questions, Sex, Stupidity, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

Wednesday One-liners Are Questioning

Chick: If you don’t want to look like a lesbian at the party, make sure you stay a little drunk the whole time.

–57th & 5th

Overheard by: Annie

Posted on March 7, 2026
Advice, Biotechs, Celebrations/Parties, Drinking & Drunk People, Gays and Lesbians, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, One-liners

Lusty Wednesday One-liners

Teen girl: Yo, I heard he fucked a fat girl in Remi and she was so big he couldn’t get his arms around her!

–Astoria Dunkin’ Donuts

Overheard by: Jack

UES chick on cell: …so then he takes me to this party, where there’s all these topless chicks and crap, and I’m like, “Come on! Haven’t I stroked your ego enough?”.

–88th and Park

Overheard by: ikanread

Girl: No, I will not have anal sex with your boyfriend!

–Union Square station

Posted on August 20, 2024
All Wednesday One-Liners, Backdoor, Celebrations/Parties, Diet/Weight, Strippers, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

Also at “That Party”: Titty Woman, Guy Necologist

Girl #1: Oh my God, don’t we know him?
Girl #2: Duh, that’s Crotchman.
Girl #1: Riiight. From that party.
Girl #2: Yeah.

–Penn Station

Posted on September 16, 2023
Celebrations/Parties, Girls, Penn Station

Preferably in Hebrew

13-year-old boy #1: Don't you remember that you told me my Bar Mitzvah was terrible?
13-year-old boy #2: When did I say that? I did not say nothing.
13-year-old boy #1: Don't you remember? You were talking to Eileen and you said I made a lot of mistakes. Don't blame me.
13-year-old boy #2: Don't blame you? You're blaming me! This is why we can't get together. Now we can't eat dinner together. We need conflict resolution.

–Barnes & Noble, 86th & Lexington

Posted on July 30, 2023
Celebrations/Parties, Jews, Judaism, Questions, Store, Teens, Upper East Side

We Just Print 'Em, People.

Black woman, looking at costumes: For Halloween I'm gonna be a slave.
Black man: For real?
Black woman: Will you be my master?

–3rd Ave & 25th St

Overheard by: Ivonna

Posted on May 16, 2023
Black People, Celebrations/Parties, Clothing, Men, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, Questions, S&M, Women

…When I Was a Kid

Guy #1: Wow, I can't believe we're at the Macy's parade, I used to watch this on tv as a kid.
Guy #2: I used to watch this on tv in jail.

–34th St

Overheard by: Heibi

Posted on August 23, 2022
Celebrations/Parties, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Guys, Kids, Prison, TV

How Shirley Temple Ended Up at the Party

20-something guy to female friend leaving house party: If you see Sophia, say hi to her. She's never been to our place before, so just let her know how to get in.
Female friend: I have no idea what she looks like!
20-something guy: She has curly hair!
Female friend, walking outside: I am so going to fuck this up.

–86th St & Lexington

Posted on June 27, 2022
Celebrations/Parties, Friends, Guys, Hair, Physical appearance, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness

…But Won't Your Grandma Be Wearing the Same Thing?

College girl: I have nothing to wear to the party tonight.
College guy: You could wear that thing you wore last night.
College girl: I can't do that! Plus, it's a theme party.
College guy: Well, you could wear that naked thing…?
College girl: Do you think I could get away with that?
College guy: Well, it's lace, so it's sort of Victorian.

–6 Train

Overheard by: sort of…