Foreign TA: I don't understand why they use the egg for Easter.
American TA: Oh, it doesn't really have anything to do with Easter, we just appropriated pagan rituals.
Foreign TA: I thought Easter is when Jesus was reborn.
American TA: It is.
Foreign TA: I thought maybe he was reborn out of an egg.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: MCLD

Guy on cell: Wow! That's a lot of cookies. If I had that many cookies, I'd put a couple of them in my ass. (pause). It doesn't matter, I've got the space. I can't eat that many cookies.

–23rd & Lexington

Teen girl to teen boy: Unless you want a 9 millimeter stuck up your asshole.

–Grand Central Terminal

Girl on cell: Well, it's still rectal.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Ladle

20-something girl to 20-something guy, quite loudly: Yeah, but putting a metal spike up his ass wasn't exactly what I had in mind!

–28th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Jar Aaron

20-something woman: Baby, I think we're going to keep the Thanksgiving dinner out of my asshole.

–Herkimer St., Brooklyn

Overheard by: M. Fresh

Drunk guy in full New Year regalia: Well, I'm from fuckin' Pennsylvania and I never seen anything like this! This shit is fantastic! Woo!
Irritated sober woman: Really? No one on this train had any idea you weren't from New York!

–Uptown 1 Train

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Barnard girl #1: I was at this party, and there was this guy, but I promised myself I would stop hooking up with strangers.
Barnard girl #2: Right.
Barnard girl #1: But, like, I still don't understand why it's bad to hook up with strangers all the time.
Barnard girl #2: Maybe it's because you're, like, using each other's bodies.
Barnard girl #1: Maybe.

–Le Monde Cafe

Overheard by: this is awkward

Teen girl #1: I'm done with you. I hate you. I hope DJ Spinbad performs at the sweet 16 you're going to tomorrow!
Teen girl #2: Ohh you take that back. Take it back!

–5th Ave

Ghetto high school girl #1: I’m not going to the party unless he apologizes for saying I stink.
Ghetto high school girl #2: But you do.
Ghetto high school girl #1: So?

–5 train platform, Pelham Pkwy

Overheard by: Bryan

Hip Indian chick #1: We should totally go to Raj's party tomorrow night.
Hip Indian chick #2: Oh my god, we totally should! Except it's in Brooklyn. Like, how would we even get there? Are there like, bridges or something?
Hip Indian chick #1: You're kidding, right?
Hip Indian chick #2, laughing: Wow! I am so one of those people who are like total geniuses but always forget like, really basic stuff.
Hip Indian chick #1: Umm, yeah. Totally.

–M14D Bus

Overheard by: Cody

Woman from #1 couple: Well after the wedding, they had an orgy. We were invited but chose not to attend.
Man from #2 couple: Well, had we been invited, we absolutely would have attended.

–2 Train

Girl #1: I used to wear a cross, but then one time somebody was like, “you cant wear a cross–you drink!
Girl #2: Did you tell them that Jesus drank?
Girl #1: I should have! Jesus was so down to party!
Girl #2: Bitch, if you turn water into wine, you are the party.

–Fordham University

Dude #1: It’s not like you did anything for me…
Dude #2: I brought the cocaine… I brought cocaine for you at my engagement party!

–Rumsey Field, Central Park

Overheard by: Jet Black