Fat guy #1: Yeah, she’s from Italy, she went to Venus to visit her grandmother.
Fat guy #2: Venus? How do you get to Venus?
Fat guy #1: Gondola.
–Grand Central food court
Overheard by: Muffy St. Jacques
Fat guy #1: Yeah, she’s from Italy, she went to Venus to visit her grandmother.
Fat guy #2: Venus? How do you get to Venus?
Fat guy #1: Gondola.
–Grand Central food court
Overheard by: Muffy St. Jacques
Tourist boy: I thought Grand Central station was huge. Like, a whole city underground and stuff.
Tourist girl: Wait.
–6 train, pulling into Grand Central station
Overheard by: Jonathan
Tourist: Where is Saks Fifth Avenue?
New Yorker: On Fifth Avenue, you moron!
–46th & 6th
Blonde tourist #1: I think we have plenty of time before our train leaves. What time is it?
Blonde tourist #2: I have no idea. My cell phone is dead. [To passing suit] Um, sir? Do you know what time it is?
Suit, rolling his eyes up at huge clock, then at blondes: Nope.
–Grand Central info booth with four-sided clock on top
Overheard by: Matt
Girl #1: Don’t you like anything about yourself?
Girl #2: I like my abs.
Girl #1: Really?
Girl #2: I guess not.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Alexis Gratt
Woman: So, what did he look like?
Man: Like… a Portuguese chipmunk.
Woman: What the hell does that look like?
Man: Picture a Portuguese man and a chipmunk and combine them. That’s what he looked like.
Woman, after thinking: Oh! Okay. That’s really weird that the he would want Anne* — she’s so tall.
–Grand Central
Comic geek: Talking kryptonite?! That was the worst thing ever!
Cute employee: Oh, yeah?
Comic geek: Yeah! A couple years ago they did a story that was narrated by Arkham Asylum. I mean, that made sense. Fuckin’ Arkham! But talking kryptonite? What the fuck is that?
Other employee: Maybe it wasn’t kryptonite. Maybe it was just a rock with green paint and low self-esteem.
–Midtown Comics, Grand Central
Man #1: How hot is this weekend nanny?
Man #2: I get wood whenever I pass within 10 feet of her.
Man #1: And Lucy doesn’t get why you’re spending more time on the weekends there now?
Man #2: She’s clueless. Now my goal is for her to hire someone equally as hot for the weekdays.
–Grand Central
Man #1: You know that saying about how if you teach a man to fish, he can fish?
Man #2: Yeah.
–Grand Central Station
Well-meaning volunteer: Help yourself, free condoms from the department of public health.
Hugely pregnant passerby: Too late.
–Grand Central Terminal
Overheard by: Katie
Ghetto black woman to four-year-old son: The ice ain't gonna respect you, you gotta respect the ice, nigga.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Steven
Obnoxiously loud drunk guy: I need a girl who will respect my receding hairline!
–Virgil's, W 44th St
Overheard by: Check, please!
Thugette: I'm just going to say, "Look, I mean no disrespect, but go fuck yourself. I mean no disrespect, but just go fuck yourself."
–6 Train
Overheard by: i mean disrespect
20-something guy to friend: Man, you don't understand. I really respect this broad…
–35th St & Lexington
