Guy: So, go out with her! For her it will be a date. For you, it will be a charity event.
–Koi, W. 40th Street
Overheard by: Uptownish
Guy: So, go out with her! For her it will be a date. For you, it will be a charity event.
–Koi, W. 40th Street
Overheard by: Uptownish
Woman: I love to cycle myself. You might not believe it, but I’m very good at it.
Guy: Really.
Woman: Yes. I come from the West, where I used to ride really strenuous courses.
Guy: Really.
Woman: Yes. And you know, if they grew some mountains in New Jersey or something, I could do the same here.
–1 train
Tourist woman #1: I’d like to speak to a nun.
Receptionist lady: The nuns don’t talk to the public. You can meet with a priest. He’ll be available in an hour. Is anything wrong?
Tourist woman #1: We were going up for communion and the minister asked my friend if she was Catholic.
Receptionist lady: Is she Catholic?
Tourist woman #2: I’m Methodist. We take communion too.
— St. Patrick’s Cathedral Rectory
Overheard by: Traveler Bill
Mom: Stop giving your sister the evil eye! What did I tell you about giving people the evil eye?
Little boy: That they would be sent to Hell forever to live with the devil.
–Bx22 bus
Bookchick #1: I had to go and see a circumcision yesterday. Any mother who does that to their son is evil and should burn in Hell.
Bookchick #2: Yeah, but it’s much more hygienic.
Bookchick #1: So? Your labia gets dirty too.
–Barnes & Noble, 22nd & 6th
Overheard by: Vic Payback
Girl: So, Britney Spears said that her mother told her that, like, childbirth is like the most excruciating pain ever.
Guy: Well, look what she ended up with. If my child was a slutbag whore, I’d be in pain too.
–Hudson & Vandam
Drunk girl #1: He’s totally cute, but I find his moles distracting.
Drunk girl #2: Yeah and he kinda reminds me of a Klingon…I’d still make out with him though.
–Thompson & Bleecker
Man: So you went to the Champs Elysee in Paris?
Woman: Yeah, it was cool. Kinda like Madison Avenue, just smaller…
–Frank, 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: Englishman in NY
Woman #1: I should be on that monument.
Woman #2: Why, so you can scare everyone?
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: Jon A.
Asian guy: I want to spike my hair.
White guy: So grow out the sides and spike the whole thing.
Asian guy: What do I look like, one of those Dragon Ball Z kids in Chinatown?
–Office, Old Slip
Overheard by: Kevz
Queer: That bitch thinks he’s some Andy Warhol superstar! Fuck him bloody!
–Ludlow & Houston
