Drunk guy #1: …and so she’s totally got clown makeup on from banging him the night before.
Drunk guy #2: Dude, rodeo clowns are tough shit.
–Fish Bar, E. 5th Street
Overheard by: Samantha
Drunk guy #1: …and so she’s totally got clown makeup on from banging him the night before.
Drunk guy #2: Dude, rodeo clowns are tough shit.
–Fish Bar, E. 5th Street
Overheard by: Samantha
Drunk girl: I love scrotum!
Guy: Dude, we should completely ask her to come home with us.
–10th & Broadway
Overheard by: danie
Drunk girl: Can you tell me where 3rd and 12th is?
Guy: You’re standing on it.
Drunk girl: Do you know where Bar None is?
Guy: Right under that huge Bar None sign.
–3rd Avenue between 12th & 13th
Overheard by: kristcollekt
Drunk guy: For the last time, a chick with a dick is a hermaphrodite!
–47th & Broadway
Overheard by: Jerad Lewis
Drunk guy: I lost my voice last night; I haven’t lost my voice since high school.
Sober guy: Only little bitches lose their voice.
Drunk guy: True.
–1st Avenue between 3rd & 4th
Girl: Are those tighty whities?
Guy: Yeah, it’s laundry day.
Girl: Then why drop your drawers in a bar?
–Danny Boys, Staten Island
Overheard by: bawookie
Hippie guy on cell: Nathan, I don’t care how drunk you were, if you’re giving a blowjob, you know you’re giving a blowjob.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Mr. Donutsu
Chick #1: Hoboken just sounds dirty to me.
Chick #2: Why? Because like, “hobos”?
Chick #1: Yeah.
Chick #2: Well, it’s uplifting. Like, “hobos can!” get their lives together. It’s not called “hobo can’t.”
–9th Street PATH station
Drunk girl: I can’t believe I have to take this train to Hoboken! This is horrible! Thank God it’s just for tonight, I can’t imagine doing this every day! This is the worst!
Guy: Where in the city do you live?
Drunk girl: I live in Rutherford.
–PATH train
Overheard by: kt
Sober girl: Did you know your mother has a penis?
Drunk girl: My mom’s wild!
Sober girl: So did you know?
Drunk girl: It’s great, man, it’s great.
–1 train
Drunk dude: I’ve always wanted a pet bee. You know? That would be so cool. To have a pet bee. I’d take it for a walk every day and show it to the neighbors. And they’d be so amazed that I had a pet bee!
Guy #1: How would you take a bee for a walk?
Drunk dude: I’d tie a little string around its neck. Like a leash, you know?
Guy #2: I didn’t know that bees had a neck.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Eric Roitman
