Man: Why would anyone ever give a clown money?
–76th & 3rd
Overheard by: Val
Man: Why would anyone ever give a clown money?
–76th & 3rd
Overheard by: Val
Candidate lady: Hi! I’m running for City Council. I like your shirt. What does the C on it stand for?
Preppy girl: It stands for Crunk.
–1st & Houston
Son: What are they handing out?
Mom: They are trying to get people to vote for them.
Son: For Survivor?
–95th & 3rd
Teen girl: Wow, that’s so sad…
Woman: Yeah, they have no electricity, no water to drink, no food to eat, nothing.
Teen girl: Well, can’t they just boil the water on the ground and drink it? They say the city is flooded with like six feet of water.
Woman: No, honey, that water is way too contaminated to be boiled, and besides that, they don’t have electricity.
Teen girl: Oh that’s so sad. Where is that?
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: Holly Percey
Woman: So, what is it you like about New Orleans?
–Becco, W. 46th Street
Chick: Apparently there will be another September 11th this month.
–65th & Lexington
Girl: Looks like you got a tan this weekend.
Guy: Yeah, I was out on my friend’s boat but we ran out of gas in the harbor so we were out on the water for a while.
Girl: You know, that was one thing I kept thinking about all weekend, how inflated the price of marine diesel fuel must be.
Guy: It wasn’t my boat so I really don’t know.
They get off the elevator.
Human being: You know, the one thing I kept thinking about all weekend was all the fucking dead people.
–Elevator, Madison & 49th
Overheard by: Captain Obvious
Girl #1: I can’t believe I did that last night.
Girl #2: You mean what you do every night? Get drunk and harrass a woman?
–60th & Lexington
Guy: Your dad has really cool sunglasses.
Girl: Yeah, they’re the kind that get darker when it gets light.
Guy: I knew a girl like that once.
–93rd & Park
Girl: I never understand why people run on treadmills. It’s like they’re gerbils or something.
Guy: Yeah. They should be forced to eat all their food in pellet form.
–67th & 1st
Overheard by: BSinnott
Hobo: What the fuck? Why’s the train so crowded? Used ta be between 9 and 5 the train’d be empty. Don’t anybody fucking have a job anymore?
–N train
Hobo: I had to go all over the goddamn world. Canarsie! Staten Island! Jersey City! Timbuktu!
–65th between 2nd & 3rd
Crazy hobo: I have closed my windows. I have pulled my curtains. I have put up my air conditioner…and now you will lock down block 340 like you will lock down every other block in the city of New York, the state of New York, the state of New Jersey, and to some extent Connecticut, but not all of Connecticut.
–4th Street & 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: Squatporpoise
Drunk hobo: I have a lottery ticket. My father played the lottery every week. Must’ve had about a hundred fucking tickets. What if I find out I won and I’m on the subway? No one’s getting away. I’m taking down everyone’s number. We’re going to dinner. Your family too. No cousins.
–N train
Drunk hobo with megaphone: Don’t ride the trains! Those a-rabs are going to blow this thing up! It’s gonna be bloody! Those a-rabs and the black men from north Africa!
–A train
Old hobo: …and there’s a girl in the well. And he got a dog! You seen dat shit?
–34th & 7th
Overheard by: K-Na
Hobo: I ain’t got no money, but I got the honey, just for the women, not the men. And I ain’t no one minute man, ain’t no three minute man. I’m a one-hour man!
–4 train
Overheard by: eb
Woman: Oh, I wanted a large popcorn. I thought you said this size was the biggest?
Movie guy: It is.
Woman: What about the bucket over there? It looks bigger.
Movie guy: It is.
Woman: Well, if this is the large, what’s the bucket?
–City Cinemas, E. 86th Street
Overheard by: JDH
Suit #1: I screwed one of the new piece of ass last night.
Suit #2: You mean the li’l one, the new one?
Suit #1: Yeah, Jen, the new girl on 15.
Suit #2: Dude, I just smashed her the other day at lunch! Are you fucking kidding me?
Suit #1: You’re clean, right?…’cause I’m going back for seconds.
–75th & Lexington
Woman #1: Well, how old is she?
Woman #2: She’s about 77 and almost blind, but she’s still a raging liberal.
Woman #1: Really.
Woman #2: Yeah, she’s not too old to still call George Bush an asshole.
–83rd & Park
