Chick #1: You know I wanna lose some weight, especially in my hips.
Chick #2: I felt like that a while ago. I was dating this guy and when him and I broke up I wanted to be slimmer when I saw him again. Girl, I took some weight loss pills and lost about 20 pounds. When I saw him again he said I looked sick. I had fucked around and lost my ass. I still haven’t gotten it back yet.
–80th & 3rd
Overheard by: Divine Essence
Guy: I don’t want to be drunk in front of her.
Girl: What? Why not?
Guy: I don’t want her to see me like that.
Girl: But face down on the floor is really the only way to see you.
–84th & 2nd
Overheard by: mortimer stackendanch
Drunk guy: Cleopatra! Let down your hair!
–89th & 2nd
Little girl: Mommy, I’m getting wet! I don’t want to get wet!
Mommy: Yeah? Well, I’m getting wet too, Samantha! That’s life!
–116th & Lexington
Overheard by: JMP
AM New York guy: AM New York! Get your same shit, different fucking day newspaper! AM New York! Same shit! Different fucking day!
–96th & Lexington
Overheard by: Owen JG
Father: You wanna go pee-pee here?
Son: No!
Father: C’mon, I’ll hold you up, you can go in the trash can.
Son: No! I don’t wanna, they can see!
Father: Who? Oh, don’t worry, it’s not Sunday.
–84th & Park
Overheard by: Gabriel Lombardi
Man: Why would anyone ever give a clown money?
–76th & 3rd
Overheard by: Val
Candidate lady: Hi! I’m running for City Council. I like your shirt. What does the C on it stand for?
Preppy girl: It stands for Crunk.
–1st & Houston
Son: What are they handing out?
Mom: They are trying to get people to vote for them.
Son: For Survivor?
–95th & 3rd
Teen girl: Wow, that’s so sad…
Woman: Yeah, they have no electricity, no water to drink, no food to eat, nothing.
Teen girl: Well, can’t they just boil the water on the ground and drink it? They say the city is flooded with like six feet of water.
Woman: No, honey, that water is way too contaminated to be boiled, and besides that, they don’t have electricity.
Teen girl: Oh that’s so sad. Where is that?
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: Holly Percey
Woman: So, what is it you like about New Orleans?
–Becco, W. 46th Street
Chick: Apparently there will be another September 11th this month.
–65th & Lexington
Girl: Looks like you got a tan this weekend.
Guy: Yeah, I was out on my friend’s boat but we ran out of gas in the harbor so we were out on the water for a while.
Girl: You know, that was one thing I kept thinking about all weekend, how inflated the price of marine diesel fuel must be.
Guy: It wasn’t my boat so I really don’t know.
They get off the elevator.
Human being: You know, the one thing I kept thinking about all weekend was all the fucking dead people.
–Elevator, Madison & 49th
Overheard by: Captain Obvious
Girl #1: I can’t believe I did that last night.
Girl #2: You mean what you do every night? Get drunk and harrass a woman?
–60th & Lexington
