Woman: Oh, I wanted a large popcorn. I thought you said this size was the biggest?
Movie guy: It is.
Woman: What about the bucket over there? It looks bigger.
Movie guy: It is.
Woman: Well, if this is the large, what’s the bucket?
–City Cinemas, E. 86th Street
Overheard by: JDH
Suit #1: I screwed one of the new piece of ass last night.
Suit #2: You mean the li’l one, the new one?
Suit #1: Yeah, Jen, the new girl on 15.
Suit #2: Dude, I just smashed her the other day at lunch! Are you fucking kidding me?
Suit #1: You’re clean, right?…’cause I’m going back for seconds.
–75th & Lexington
Woman #1: Well, how old is she?
Woman #2: She’s about 77 and almost blind, but she’s still a raging liberal.
Woman #1: Really.
Woman #2: Yeah, she’s not too old to still call George Bush an asshole.
–83rd & Park
Guy on cell: Where am I? I’m always some place watching some crazy shit. I’m watching some motherfuckin’ Indian shit, son. Some shit from some country. They’re doing a rain dance, son. It’s gonna motherfuckin’ rain soon. They’re doing a motherfuckin’ rain dance, son. They’re dancing and shit.
–St. Mark’s Church
Overheard by: Alex Romanovich
Woman: Where are all the restaurants?
–Times Square station
Overheard by: Kate
Woman on cell: Where am I? I’m at home; I’m just about to go down and get a cab. Where are you?
–Gristede’s, 63rd & West End
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Driving guy: Is this Brooklyn?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Captain Obvious
Driving guy: Excuse me, which way is Manhattan?
–40th & Broadway
Girl: Excuse me sir, how do you get to Times Square?
–42nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Mitchell Linetti
Man on cell: No, no. I’ll never make it. I’m still in Jersey.
–85th & 2nd
Overheard by: JDH
Girl #1: Ugh! It’s horrible out! It feels like I’m in someone’s lung!
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: It’s just so moist and warm out here; it’s like being in a giant lung.
Girl #2: …that’s the most disgusting description I think I’ve ever heard.
–74th & Madison
Overheard by: Sarah
Guy: Where do you fall in the debate over wearing deodorant versus body odor?
Girl: Um, I didn’t realize there was a debate.
–70th & York
Lanky guy: I really don’t like these new jeans you got me. They’re way too tight in the waist and legs, but baggy in the butt, and at least two inches too short. Plus they’re boot cut, and I don’t wear any boots!
Girl: Those are my jeans.
Lanky guy: Oh. Well, that would explain the lack of room in the crotch, then.
–64th & Lexington
Overheard by: Adria
Woman on cell: Yeah, he told me the next day that he cried himself to sleep. I got so mad. I was like, “I don’t wanna hear that shit!”
–Target, Atlantic Avenue
Overheard by: alex
Chick: Is it really cheating if it only happened once?
–26th & Lexington
Guy on cell: Look, I’m driving so I can’t talk right now, ok? Good-bye…Fucking bitch, never leaves me alone.
–Burger King, Union Turnpike
Overheard by: Megan Cowles
Girl: So are we breakin’ up or what? It’s getting late!
–59th & Lexington
Overheard by: Mike
Girl #1: He was a great cook.
Girl #2: All the lunatics are, my dear.
–Vermicelli, 78th & 2nd
Guy #1: That’s a cute dog.
Guy #2: Thanks, she’s my daughter.
Guy #1: …How is that possible?
Guy #2: Yeah, that’s right: I gave birth to her, she came out of my vagina.
–98th & 5th
