Russian counterlady: You want coffee?
Mexican guy: No coffee. Juice.
Russian counterlady: What?
Mexican guy: Please…juice?
Russian counterlady: Here we are all juice.
–Midwood Kosher bakery
Overheard by: Sophia Naess
Russian counterlady: You want coffee?
Mexican guy: No coffee. Juice.
Russian counterlady: What?
Mexican guy: Please…juice?
Russian counterlady: Here we are all juice.
–Midwood Kosher bakery
Overheard by: Sophia Naess
Chick #1: I called Tasty’s for lunch and the girl on the phone asked me where I was from. I said Southern Africa. The girl said, “I have no idea where that is.” How can you not know Southern Africa? I mean come on…
Chick #2: Where was she from?
Chick #1: I don’t know, some Mexican country.
–55th & 5th
Overheard by: Sarah Federman
Queer: Do you know why else I want to move to London? Camdentown. There are lots of punks.
Chick: But wouldn’t there also be a lot of white supremacists?
Queer: I could do white supremacists.
Chick: But aren’t they also homophobic?
Queer: No, just repressed.
–Law office, 50th & 8th
Guy #1: You Indian? India is like the next superpower, dude.
Guy #2: Superpower my ass.
–87th & Lexington
Foreign guy: Chicken fries.
Burger lady: What do you want to drink?
Foreign guy: Beer.
Burger lady: We don’t have beer.
Foreign guy: Budweiser.
Burger lady: We don’t have beer, sir.
Foreign guy: No beer? You have no beer?
Burger lady: No, sir.
Foreign guy: Can I see the manager, please?
–Burger King, 33rd & 5th
Overheard by: thomas
American girl: Do you know who I think wants my brother’s friends?
Polish girl: Who is a twat?
American girl: No. Do you know who wants my brother’s friends?
Polish girl: Oh. Great.
–B61 bus
British man #1: Well, what should we see?
British man #2: Oh, I don’t know. How about…Fosse?
British man #1: Oh, no! Not Fosse!
British man #2: Now what’s wrong with Fosse?
British man #1: The thing about Fosse is we already know how it ends!
British man #2: What happens?
–TKTS, Duffy Square
Overheard by: EAC425
Hipster chick: You like the Killers? Of all the British bands–
Hipster boy: I think they’re from Vegas, actually.
Hipster chick: Well, I just assumed they’re British because they suck.
–L train
Russian chick: I don’t know why he’s so pathetic that he resorts to lap dancing. I mean, come on, lap dancing! Is he really so desperate? He’s a good-looking guy, I just don’t understand how he could stoop so low!
Preppy guy: No no no, you misunderstand! He’s not desperate, he’s just into that sort of thing… you know, he’s actually dating a porn star right now.
–84th between 2nd & 3rd
Overheard by: Mr. Sausage
Guy: So, I went on this audition, and they asked me, “Can you juggle and ride a unicycle?”. I mean, I can juggle, and I can ride a unicycle, but I can’t do both at once, I’m not a skills clown. Basically, my skill is falling. I can fall really well.
–A train
Overheard by: Berit J.
Girl: Mommy, what’s the opposite of hair?
–86th & Broadway
Overheard by: Stuart Weisberg
Mom: Don’t you know this is the liberry, not the cry-berry?
–The Fordham Library Center
Tween girl: …and the one Winnie the Pooh had a nice body…
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Jason B. Schmidt
Guy: …if my wife and I spit at the kids, nothing happens…but if a llama does they burst into tears.
–53rd & 6th
Overheard by: J-Mo
British guy: Can’t be more worse than having a baby every six months.
–116th & Lexington
Boy: Mommy, how many hours are in a mile?
–44th & 8th
Overheard by: BBW
