British lady: Oh, hello there. Hello there. What is your name?
American guy: His name is Iggy-Pup.
British lady: Oh, Iggy-pop? It’d be a lot funnier if his name was Iggy-pup.
American guy: It is.
British lady: You know. Like my dog, for example: Chompsky. Get it?
American guy: Yes, that’s nice.
–1 train
Overheard by: James Gillece
HS boy #1: You probably never had Power Rangers as a kid.
HS boy #2: Uh, dude, we had TV in Canada!
HS boy #3: See man, this is what happens when you don’t live in
Scarsdale all your life. You learn stuff.
–1 train
Overheard by: Julia Kite
Ghetto girl #1: …so I was talkin’ to that guy and his accent was so fuckin’ hot–guys from there have accents for whatever–and I’m like, “Yo, why you got an accent? You only live like 20 miles away.” I was like, “Nigga, what the fuck is up with havin’ an accent and bein’ from Louisiana?” He then be lookin’ at me like I swallowed my own piss.
Ghetto girl #2: You so stupid. His accent be the thing that make you want him. You so stupid. Know why? I don’t think he even had an accent; you probably thought he was from Jamaica or something. Just because he black. You a bad liar too. People from Louisiana can’t have accents. That’s for people from different parts of the world, like the Canadians in Europe. Canada’s such a fuckin’ weird country, but they got hot accents. If you from Louisiana, you sound just like you do if you from New York, and if you from New Jersey. If you from Canada, you sound mad different, because it’s on the other side.
Ghetto girl #1: Well nah, I knew Canada was overseas…but they ain’t got accents. I’m tellin’ ya though, this fuckin’ Louisiana guy has a fuckin’ accent…and it’s not even as far as Canada…Louisiana is a drive away; it’s fuckin’ nuts. I just wish I could make out with him so that I could feel his fuckin’ Louisiana lips, but then I guess I be wrong, he can’t be from Louisiana. So I guess I’ma dream of kissin’ him when we be in Canada. It’s across the world and great.
Bystander guy: The sad thing about this is that you two will probably become teachers.
–Queens Plaza station
American girl: So when does Kitty’s plane get in?
British guy: I don’t know…I think 12:30. I’m really nervous about her moving in.
American girl: Why?
British guy: Because you know she is going to expect me to marry her.
American girl: Well, you need to get married. You need to have little Jack the Rippers running around.
–2nd Avenue between 51st & 52nd
Russian counterlady: You want coffee?
Mexican guy: No coffee. Juice.
Russian counterlady: What?
Mexican guy: Please…juice?
Russian counterlady: Here we are all juice.
–Midwood Kosher bakery
Overheard by: Sophia Naess
Chick #1: I called Tasty’s for lunch and the girl on the phone asked me where I was from. I said Southern Africa. The girl said, “I have no idea where that is.” How can you not know Southern Africa? I mean come on…
Chick #2: Where was she from?
Chick #1: I don’t know, some Mexican country.
–55th & 5th
Overheard by: Sarah Federman
Queer: Do you know why else I want to move to London? Camdentown. There are lots of punks.
Chick: But wouldn’t there also be a lot of white supremacists?
Queer: I could do white supremacists.
Chick: But aren’t they also homophobic?
Queer: No, just repressed.
–Law office, 50th & 8th
Guy #1: You Indian? India is like the next superpower, dude.
Guy #2: Superpower my ass.
–87th & Lexington
Foreign guy: Chicken fries.
Burger lady: What do you want to drink?
Foreign guy: Beer.
Burger lady: We don’t have beer.
Foreign guy: Budweiser.
Burger lady: We don’t have beer, sir.
Foreign guy: No beer? You have no beer?
Burger lady: No, sir.
Foreign guy: Can I see the manager, please?
–Burger King, 33rd & 5th
Overheard by: thomas
American girl: Do you know who I think wants my brother’s friends?
Polish girl: Who is a twat?
American girl: No. Do you know who wants my brother’s friends?
Polish girl: Oh. Great.
–B61 bus
