Foreigners

Guy #1: You know what I found out about Japanese people? They love noodles.
Guy #2: Really?

–Anytime Cafe, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Manlio Lo Conte

Teen Girl 1: Omigod, she totally promised to stay after and help me take audition pictures, and she bailed on me.
Teen Girl 2: Yeah, she’s like the French: “Ve vill help you America! Zhust kidding…ve have to go drink coffee and eat croissants now!”

–Lincoln Center

Caribbean woman: Will dis [wine cooler] drunk me?
Caribbean man: No, that won’t drunk you.

–Yvette Clarke for Congress HQ, Crown Heights

A Russian man was blocking the way out of the store.

American woman: Excuse me.
Russian man: I’m picking my lemons.
American woman: Whadya want us all to do, play leapfrog over you? Move it please.
Russian man: You’re stupid.
American woman: Stupid? I got one word for you. Chernobyl! How’s that for stupid? Bet you were working there, you fucking asshole. Now move it, you fuckin’ retard!

–Bensonhurst

Overheard by: Deborah Olin

British Lady: I have a sharp pain in my bladder.
British Guy: Maybe you’re pregnant.
British Lady: How would you know?

–Empire State Building

Overheard by: Katherine O’Brien

Guy, about Empire State Building: Yeah, and for Valentine's Day they put a heart on it.
Visiting Australian woman: A what? A hard-on?

–Rooftop, Watching 4th of July Fireworks

Overheard by: i saw one of those on a building once…

Foreign guy #1: Is it a 4-door?
Rental car lady: I have no idea, I haven’t even begun the process yet.

She reaches into a drawer and pulls out a set of keys.

Rental car lady: Yes.
Foreign guy #2: That was some process.

–Avis, West 43rd Street

Overheard by: mike k

Swedish guy: Last night I burped so loud I think I’m sure I woke everyone up in the apartment.
American guy: That’s kind of like when I took that noisy dump.
Swedish guy: Ew!

–Times Square

Girl #1: We totally only hired her because she’s British.
Girl #2: Oh, is she the one who smells like babies?
Girl #1: Yeah…

–East Village

Girl #1: But… Isn't he from Japan?
Girl #2: Duh, Japanese people speak Chinese!
Girl #1: Oh my god! (laughs) You are so funny! People from Japan speak Spanish. Everybody knows that!

–A Train

Overheard by: Hiding In The Corner (Highly Disturbed.)