New Yorker, on cell to fiancée: Honey, all set here for our wedding, when you coming over? I got both of our rings, in nine-carat gold! (appalled silence in carriage) Yeah, your finger's gonna go green and fall off or something? What the hell's wrong with nine-carat gold? Hey! Of course I love you more than I love my mom! Come on! What is this about?


Norwegian guy in fake British accent to girl in Olympic volunteer uniform: Excuse me, dear sir, can you direct me to the nearest (pauses for dramatic effect) Olympiad?!
Volunteer girl, pointing toward hot dog stand: That way.

Scotiabank Theatre

Overheard by: You luge you lose!

Girl, giving tour: Here is my favorite, one of our the weight training rooms.
Guy on tour with Australian accent: Do you train here as well?
Girl: Yes, this is my event.
Guy: What? Weightlifting?
Girl: Yeah. I'm training for the snatch.
Guy: What?
Girl: It goes like this. (demonstrates weight lifting move)
Guy (not suppressing grin): And how much is your snatch?
Girl: I start with 83 pounds.
Guy (snickering): Reeeally…
Girl: Yep. Also the clean and jerk.
Guy: (leaves tour group, unable to suppress laughter)

US Olympic Training Center
Colorado Springs, Colorado

Overheard by: TK

Gay Australian cowboy: I just didn't want his cat seeing me naked.


Traveler with heavy European accent: So, can we drive to the Grand Canyon one day? We'd really like to see it while in America.

Dulles Airport
Washington, DC

British woman: They asked me if I believed in Jesus and I said, ‘No, but I do worship Godzilla.’

CCS Home Base, Fodome Road
Hohoe, Volta Region
Ghana, West Africa

Young Spanish guy: So yeah, I met up with my ex Becky last night, we ended up having sex behind the pharmacy.
Young white guy: I asked you to come hang out yesterday but you said you had your grandpa's funeral!
Young Spanish guy: I did have the funeral, but that was in the morning.
Young white guy: So you had time to fuck Becky behind the pharmacy but no time to hang out with me? Besides, you said you were close to your grandpa. Shouldn't you have been mourning?
Young Spanish guy: So… does this mean I don't get a high five?
Young white guy: *grudgingly high fives*.

Movie Theatre, Ottawa

Overheard by: Ash

Ditzy American girl: You're from Scotland?
Scottish girl: Yeah.
Ditzy American girl: So do they have like… Ducks over there?

Orlando, Florida

Nigerian guy, joking: Ha ha! Yeah, it's probably because I am black, hey.
American girl: Oh my god, you can't say that! You have to say “African-American.”
Nigerian guy: But I'm not African-American; I'm Nigerian. I suppose you could say “African”?
American girl: No, look, we learned it in elementary school! It's “African-American”!
Nigerian guy: Okay… So you're Scandinavian, by that rationale.
American girl: No, I'm American! You're African-American!
English guy: Please shut the fuck up.


Overheard by: TopCat

20-something foreigner: The Democrats and Republicans… It's like the difference between safe sex and unsafe sex.


Overheard by: sarah