British man #1: Well, what should we see?
British man #2: Oh, I don’t know. How about…Fosse?
British man #1: Oh, no! Not Fosse!
British man #2: Now what’s wrong with Fosse?
British man #1: The thing about Fosse is we already know how it ends!
British man #2: What happens?
–TKTS, Duffy Square
Overheard by: EAC425
Hipster chick: You like the Killers? Of all the British bands–
Hipster boy: I think they’re from Vegas, actually.
Hipster chick: Well, I just assumed they’re British because they suck.
–L train
Russian chick: I don’t know why he’s so pathetic that he resorts to lap dancing. I mean, come on, lap dancing! Is he really so desperate? He’s a good-looking guy, I just don’t understand how he could stoop so low!
Preppy guy: No no no, you misunderstand! He’s not desperate, he’s just into that sort of thing… you know, he’s actually dating a porn star right now.
–84th between 2nd & 3rd
Overheard by: Mr. Sausage
Guy: So, I went on this audition, and they asked me, “Can you juggle and ride a unicycle?”. I mean, I can juggle, and I can ride a unicycle, but I can’t do both at once, I’m not a skills clown. Basically, my skill is falling. I can fall really well.
–A train
Overheard by: Berit J.
Girl: Mommy, what’s the opposite of hair?
–86th & Broadway
Overheard by: Stuart Weisberg
Mom: Don’t you know this is the liberry, not the cry-berry?
–The Fordham Library Center
Tween girl: …and the one Winnie the Pooh had a nice body…
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Jason B. Schmidt
Guy: …if my wife and I spit at the kids, nothing happens…but if a llama does they burst into tears.
–53rd & 6th
Overheard by: J-Mo
British guy: Can’t be more worse than having a baby every six months.
–116th & Lexington
Boy: Mommy, how many hours are in a mile?
–44th & 8th
Overheard by: BBW
Middle-aged woman: Whatever happened to that guy you were in love with?
Young woman: We weren’t in love, just seriously in like.
Middle-aged woman: So, what happened to him?
Young woman: I had him deported.
–64th & Broadway
Old lady: Your dog is beautiful!
Young lady: Than–
Old lady: It’s terrible what they do to those dogs in China. I won’t even say but it’s awful…Chinese people don’t even deserve to live.
–Sunnyside post office
Russian woman: She’s doing very well. Her book is doing well. She’s already sold a lot of books.
American woman: That’s great! That must be so exciting!
Russian woman: Yes, she has already sold ten or twenty, I think.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Diana
Tourist guy: So what’s the difference between Korean and Chinese?
New York guy: You mean the food, or the people?
Tourist guy: Either one. But I only care about the food.
–Bayard & Mulberry
Overheard by: iiams
Girl: Sorry, I’m trying to be as French as possible.
French guy: Oh, I’m from Bawsten.
–N train
Overheard by: c. dubs
The train pulls out of the underground. Three Hispanic teens look outside.
Hispanic teen #1: You can’t see the Eiffel Tower from here?
They continue looking for a good twenty seconds.
Hispanic teen #2: That shit’s in Paris, yo!
–F train
Overheard by: Daniel Radosh
American businesschick: How is your food?
Russian businesschick: It’s OK, but my salad is cold.
–Cosi, 45th & 3rd
