Out-of-towner: I like being paid in envelopes; it makes me feel like a prostitute.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Jonathan

Loud woman with arms in air: Happy New Year! Happy New Year!
Grumpy man: Fuckin' drunks!
Loud woman: I'm not drunk, I'm Canadian!

Canal Street
New Orleans, Louisiana

Australian tourist: God, it's so hot in here. I can't wait to get out of here and take these pants off.
Church security guard, overhearing: Yes… that is very difficult to do in a church.

Vatican City

Overheard by: LeBron

American construction worker: See, you escaped communism. All I ever did was join the disco demolition night at Comisky park.
Polish construction worker: I didn’t escape communism, I got kicked out. Big difference.

Chicago, Illinois

American guy #1: Fuck, here I am, sitting on top of some fucking sandmountain in the goddam desert in Chile, god knows how far away from home, to watch some goddam sunset! And I'm not even on my fucking own, or with some hot chick. I'm sitting here with severeal hundred other people. It's such a fucking waste. It's kinda like sitting all alone in the movie theater, and then some dickhead comes and sits down next too you.
American guy #2: Yeah, I did that once!
American guy #1: I hate you. (walks away).

San Pedro de Attacama

Overheard by: Hege

Elderly Italian lady to store clerk, while judging jugs of wine: I'm the last of the great drinkers.

Liquor Store
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Steve

Drunk Canadian to another: I don't get it–every time we drink in the car, something bad happens.

Charlottesville, Virginia

Overheard by: christine

Impossibly cheerful Australian: I'd like two scoops of coffee coffee coffee buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz, please!
Alarmed counter guy: Uh, do you need it?

Ben & Jerry's
Berkeley, California

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Woman: I've only been to Turkey once, to visit my boyfriend.
Turkish woman: That's far. He must be very good in bed.
Woman: We're not together anymore. I'll leave it at that.

Eastern Market
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Intern

College girl from England: Hey, whoa, are you drunk?
College girl from Prague: No! I'm Czech!

Royal Holloway University of London