Persian guy #1: So are you going to go out with her again?
Persian guy #2: Yeah, she's a cool girl, man. She likes techno and brands…
Los Angeles, California
Persian guy #1: So are you going to go out with her again?
Persian guy #2: Yeah, she's a cool girl, man. She likes techno and brands…
Los Angeles, California
Young lady with English accent, on cell: I told you I was going to be home in 15 minutes. (pause) I'm going to kill you. I'm going to stab you in the eye with a fork.
Chico, California
Overheard by: xfleshxwoundx
Foreign chick on cell: I'm at the gonorrhea. (pause) No, I'm at the gonorrhea. Yah… In yewstun. I'm at deelurds in the gonorrhea.
Dillards, The Galleria
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: OMG She had VD
30-something guy to seven-year-old kid: So even when you get older you will be spending a lot of time in stores waiting for women to shop… It's boring for us, but looking around and not buying anything is somehow fun for them.
Seven-year-old kid: Oh. You aren't American. Where you from?
30-something guy: I'm from Ireland.
Seven-year-old kid: Ireland? What do they speak there?
30-something guy: English.
Seven-year-old kid: You speak English?
30-something guy: Well, we're speaking English now.
Seven-year-old kid, incredulously: We are?
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Jack
American girl: Are you British?
Irish girl: No, I'm Irish.
American girl: Ew! Does that mean you eat haggis?
Irish girl, peevishly: No, haggis is Scottish.
American girl: Ohhh! Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you!
Irish girl: The implication that I'm Scottish isn't what offends me about this conversation.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: T
Guy in “I heart NJ” shirt: Could you take our picture?
German tourist: Sure.
Guy in “I heart NJ” shirt: Thanks a lot, man.
German tourist: You luv New Jer-see?
Guy in “I heart NJ” shirt: Hell yeah!
German tourist: You za own-lee vun!
London
England
Overheard by: Joyful One
20-something American guy: Hermaphrodites are real?
20-something American girl: Well, what did you think they were?
20-something American guy: I thought they were a made-up word, like “unicorn” or something.
Bar
Munich
Germany
Irish girl, after sheep show: Well, that wasn't much, was it?
Irish friend: Yeah, just a lot of focking sheep shit.
South Island
New Zealand
Overheard by: fellow tour member who agrees
Finnish lady: They waited years to diagnose him so now of course he's got a lot of luggage.
American lady: Wait, don't you mean baggage?
Finnish lady: Luggage?
American lady: Baggage.
Finnish lady: Baggage, luggage.
Brazilian man, totally bewildered: Suitcases?
West Hollywood, California
Overheard by: Sprightly
Brazilian guy to American: Pleeeeeaaase? Say it. Say it. Say “fucker de matriz” in English.
Brazilian girlfriend: He wants you to say (whispers) “motherfucker”.
American guy: Okay. (blandly) Motherfucker.
Brazilian guy: No! Like an American, please!
American guy: Huh? Oh, “muthafucka!”
Brazilian guy, laughing giddily and clapping: Yes! Yes! Muthafucka, excellent!
ViaRail Train
Canadia
Overheard by: Jim
