Woman: Nigga, where you goin’?
Boy: Mom, action figures!
Woman: Nigga, the action figures is right here!
–Toys R’ Us, Times Square
Woman: Nigga, where you goin’?
Boy: Mom, action figures!
Woman: Nigga, the action figures is right here!
–Toys R’ Us, Times Square
Chick: He was not really completely gay.
Guy: What was he, then?
Chick: He was more just completely fabulous.
–10th & Broadway
Overheard by: jennifer
Girl: I’m pathetic enough but not fabulous enough to be a fag hag.
–The Ansonia, 73rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Betty Noir
Girl #1: You shouldn’t feel sorry for yourself. We are single and fabulous, explanation point.
Girl #2: …Don’t you mean “exclamation point”?
–Garden Cafe, Inwood
Guy #1: …I walked in and the warehouse was just full of tiny little boots.
Guy #2: That sounds fabulous.
–Central Park
Old drunk Southern guy: Woo!
Young drunk Southern guy: Ha, ha, ha! Woo woo!
Old drunk Southern guy: Come on, it’s one “woo”! Woo!
Young drunk Southern guy: Ha, ha, ha! Woo woo!
Old drunk Southern guy: Just one woo! Woo!
–6 train
Overheard by: C & J
Man: You say Pataki, I say bukkake.
–40th & 7th
Overheard by: Derek P
Guy #1: Yeah, she was a little long in the tooth.
Guy #2: “Long in the tooth”? I’ve never heard that one before.
Guy #1: Her face was all long. But she’s tall. Like 6’2″.
–6 train
Overheard by: Aileen Gallagher
Girl #1: I’m hungry.
Girl #2: Sorry, I don’t got anything. No wait, I have melon that I brought.
Girl #1: You have what in your bra?
–120th & Riverside Drive
College guy #1: Yo, do you know who directed Jaws 2?
College guy #2: Yeah. Oh wait, you mean the second one?
–23rd & 3rd
Overheard by: Matthew Pollock
Preppy guy: I’m hardcore into the drug underground. Drugs and me, we’re like this.
Preppy chick: Drugs and I.
–53rd & 6th
Overheard by: djlindee
Guy: I’m so fucking sweaty. I’m getting all chafed again!
Girl: Aw, where?
Guy: On my cock.
Girl: Un your calf? That is so horr-
Guy: No, no, on my cock.
Girl: Chafed on your what?
Guy: My cock is chafed. Christ.
–Union Square
Pre-JAP: Oh, and? At the party, we’re making schmores.
Jewish mom: S’mores.
Pre-JAP: That’s what I said. Schmores.
–Loews, 42nd Street
Overheard by: Heather Hunter
