Guy #1: Isn’t that the Norwegian metal band where the drummer is eight and he killed the lead singer?
Guy #2: No, the drummer ate the lead singer.
–1st Avenue & 6th Street
Guy #1: Isn’t that the Norwegian metal band where the drummer is eight and he killed the lead singer?
Guy #2: No, the drummer ate the lead singer.
–1st Avenue & 6th Street
Teen boy: What are you eating?
Teen girl: It’s called…Gateau.
Teen boy: What’s Gateau?
Teen girl: Like…fancy French cake.
Teen boy: Sounds Gateau-fabulous.
–N train
Overheard by: valerie
Girl #1: So, he kept on calling me and calling me and calling me.
Girl #2: Well…what did you do? Did you answer your phone?
Girl #1: Yeah…I answered the phone and said to him, “Thanks for stalking by.” He hung up after that and I haven’t heard from him again.
–Cafeteria, 7th Avenue
Guy: You know what I hate about the word onomatopeia? It’s that it’s not an onomatopeia.
Girl: Shut up. Just shut up.
–A train
Overheard by: Okoska
Girl: So wait, is skullfucking only in the eye?
–13th & 5th
Overheard by: The King Adrock
Woman: It’s a pity about that actress who stabbed someone with her knife. What’s her name? …Um…Reese?
Chick: Witherspoon?
Woman: No! With her knife!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Emilia
Suit #1: I know where we are.
Suit #2: Where?
Suit #1: On the corner!
–9th Street & 1st Avenue
Overheard by: Your Mom
Guy: Excuse me, can I tell you a joke?
Girl: …What?
Guy: Can I tell you a joke?
Girl: …No.
Guy: Are you su–
Girl: Didn’t you fucking hear me, you idiot?
She gets up and starts walking away.
Girl: Jesus Christ, these fucking…
–Central Park
Woman: Nigga, where you goin’?
Boy: Mom, action figures!
Woman: Nigga, the action figures is right here!
–Toys R’ Us, Times Square
Chick: He was not really completely gay.
Guy: What was he, then?
Chick: He was more just completely fabulous.
–10th & Broadway
Overheard by: jennifer
Girl: I’m pathetic enough but not fabulous enough to be a fag hag.
–The Ansonia, 73rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Betty Noir
Girl #1: You shouldn’t feel sorry for yourself. We are single and fabulous, explanation point.
Girl #2: …Don’t you mean “exclamation point”?
–Garden Cafe, Inwood
Guy #1: …I walked in and the warehouse was just full of tiny little boots.
Guy #2: That sounds fabulous.
–Central Park
Old drunk Southern guy: Woo!
Young drunk Southern guy: Ha, ha, ha! Woo woo!
Old drunk Southern guy: Come on, it’s one “woo”! Woo!
Young drunk Southern guy: Ha, ha, ha! Woo woo!
Old drunk Southern guy: Just one woo! Woo!
–6 train
Overheard by: C & J
Man: You say Pataki, I say bukkake.
–40th & 7th
Overheard by: Derek P
