Guy #1: Yeah, she was a little long in the tooth.
Guy #2: “Long in the tooth”? I’ve never heard that one before.
Guy #1: Her face was all long. But she’s tall. Like 6’2″.
–6 train
Overheard by: Aileen Gallagher
Guy #1: Yeah, she was a little long in the tooth.
Guy #2: “Long in the tooth”? I’ve never heard that one before.
Guy #1: Her face was all long. But she’s tall. Like 6’2″.
–6 train
Overheard by: Aileen Gallagher
Girl #1: I’m hungry.
Girl #2: Sorry, I don’t got anything. No wait, I have melon that I brought.
Girl #1: You have what in your bra?
–120th & Riverside Drive
College guy #1: Yo, do you know who directed Jaws 2?
College guy #2: Yeah. Oh wait, you mean the second one?
–23rd & 3rd
Overheard by: Matthew Pollock
Preppy guy: I’m hardcore into the drug underground. Drugs and me, we’re like this.
Preppy chick: Drugs and I.
–53rd & 6th
Overheard by: djlindee
Guy: I’m so fucking sweaty. I’m getting all chafed again!
Girl: Aw, where?
Guy: On my cock.
Girl: Un your calf? That is so horr-
Guy: No, no, on my cock.
Girl: Chafed on your what?
Guy: My cock is chafed. Christ.
–Union Square
Pre-JAP: Oh, and? At the party, we’re making schmores.
Jewish mom: S’mores.
Pre-JAP: That’s what I said. Schmores.
–Loews, 42nd Street
Overheard by: Heather Hunter
Guy #1: I’m going to dead you, pal. You’ll see. The next time you come around you’re a dead man. You raped my ex-girlfriend. Yeah, you’re a dead man walkin’. I’m looking for you, you’ll see. You’re a dead man. I’m looking for you.
Guy #2: He’s right there!
–The Gate – Park Slope
Overheard by: Alex Tarampi
B&T Girl #1: He is so “not Westchester.”
B&T Girl #2: I know!
B&T Girl #3: I don’t get it. I’ve been here a year and I don’t get that. And what is or who is “the bridge and tunnel crowd”? Is it a good thing that those guys called us “bridge and tunnel crowd” when we walked in?
B&T Girl #1: Eww.
B&T Girl #2: Gross.
B&T Girl #1: Ew, oh there is so no way anyone called me bridge and tunnel.
B&T Girl #3: So that’s bad?
B&T Girl #2: What could be worse?
–Metro-North
Guy: Oh, excuse me!…Want to make out?
–Centre & Chambers
Overheard by: Chris
Older man: …so they served these smaller things, like appetizers, in between the three main courses. You know how many they gave us? Four! There were four intercourses…
–West 53 Street office
Girl on cell: He shoots dope and smokes crack! I can’t think of a worse person for you to sleep with!…well, yeah, I guess…
–81st & Madison
Girl: I’d blow him every day if he’d let me drive his beamer more.
–Sheep’s Meadow
Tween girl: Shit, if I were 21, and he was like, “Yo, do you want some
beer?”, I’d be like, “Shit, only if you got a hotel room.” ’cause then
we could, like, go in it.
–Starbucks, 34th & 7th
Overheard by: marissa
Daily News guy: …and I said, “Just take me now, bitch!”
–Bar 288, Elizabeth Street
DMV guy: Who’s here for oral? Did anyone in this line sign up for oral?
–DMV, Atlantic Avenue Center
Overheard by: RMC
Little girl: That’s how you spell it? Why is there a “p”?
Mom: The doctors didn’t know how to spell it, so they just put a “p” at the beginning to make it look medical.
–Greenpoint corner store
