Words

Guy, about Empire State Building: Yeah, and for Valentine's Day they put a heart on it.
Visiting Australian woman: A what? A hard-on?

–Rooftop, Watching 4th of July Fireworks

Overheard by: i saw one of those on a building once…

Guido: I love these jeans. They’re so comfy-womfy.

–R train, Court St

Teen girl: Tissues are so overrated. That’s what long-sleeved shirts are for. That’s why no one wears short-sleeved shirts!

–TGIFriday, 42nd St

Conductor: Down coats are very poofy. Please pull them in from the doors.

–Crowded F train

Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.

Puking guy, using hat to catch his vomit: I don’t think I’m ever gonna be able to wear this hat again. It was a good hat.

–A train

Overheard by: Joseph

Teen girl, about gift for boyfriend: Can you imagine me getting him a sweater that’s too small and going, ‘Oh, it’s too small? I’ll take it!’

–R train

Chick: She was a tasteful goth… but she was wearing a cape.

–4th & Lafayette

HS girl #1: God, I hate English. It’s so hard!
HS girl #2: Yeah, I just don’t get this whole verb/noun thing.

–Starbucks, 94th & Broadway

Overheard by: Dunkee Hotay

Drunk girl, to owner of pizza place: Hasta mañana!
Drunk guy: That’s not Italian!
Drunk girl: He’s not Italian, he’s Greek! He speaks Yiddish and Greek!

–30th & 3rd

Girl #1, nonchalantly: So I was just like, ‘Whatever.’
Girl #2: Right.
Girl #1, angrily: But then he was just like, ‘Whatever.’
Girl #2: What?!
Girl #1, victoriously: Yeah! So then I was just like, ‘Whatever.’
Girl #2: He’s such an asshole.

–87th & Broadway

Overheard by: Emily

Girl: … And then she put it in front of me, and I was like, ‘Hello! I hate cottage cheese!’
Queer friend: Oh my god. Cottage cheese is albino diarrhea!

–90th & Broadway

Chick: So, um, like, yeah. I mean, you know, I mean, well, when you think it’s right but it isn’t, you know, then it’s like, um, yeah. I don’t know what I’m saying.

–Port Authority Bus Terminal

Little kid pointing to box truck: Store!
Dad: Yes, that’s right. That’s a store.

–6th St, between Ave A & Ave B

Overheard by: epsd101

Slutty girlfriend: You’re too thick for me to properly give you head, though.
Moron boyfriend: You callin’ me stupid?

–Fordham University

British art guy: You know what I love about Americans?
American art guy: What’s that?
British art guy: When I say the word ‘fag,’ they think I’m talking about smoking and not being homophobic. Even if I say, ‘I want to ass-fuck that fag,’ I can get away with it because I’m British.

–Soho