Words

Comic book artist: Is the word “stab” or “poink” best for a dog nose being inserted into someone's butt?
Group of coworkers in unison, very serious: “Poink,” definitely.

Portland, Oregon

Teen girl to another, while browsing CDs: Like, alphabetical order is so confusing.

Music Store
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Justin

Dude to older lady: What do you mean, you don’t know what a hooker is? [To security guard] Hey, tell my mother what a hooker is.

Kroger
Columbus, Ohio

Oblivious lady #1: I just don't know what to do with all of that junk back there.
Oblivious lady #2: Where, in your trunk?
Oblivious lady #1: Yeah, there's just so much junk in my trunk!

Guelph, Ontario

Teen boy ordering sub, on cell: You like the way I say “delicious?”

Carson, California

Overheard by: I've heard it said worse

Guy #1: I can speak Italian.
Guy #2: How do you say “cheese” in Italian?
Guy #1: Ha! That's easy, “mozzarella”!

Italian Restaurant
Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Chloe

Drunk girl: I want to be lesbionic!

Georgia Tech

Overheard by: YellowJacketGals

10-year-old boy to GameStop guy, after purchasing Mario Galaxy: Bye, I love you! I mean…wait. I meant “thank you.” I didn't mean it! (runs away)

GameStop
Vestavia Hills, Alabama

Overheard by: that's what they all say

Small child, pointing to an “eat pussy” graffiti painted on the side of a restaurant: Daddy, what does that say?
Father: It’s a menu.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Chikara

Hobo #1, holding gallon of water: I’ve been trying to drink a lot of water. You need to clear that toxic shit out. You collect lots of, uh, what they called? Endorsements. Your body just builds up these endorsements, and they poison you! I think that’s what they’re called… You know what I mean?
Hobo #2: [Nods knowingly.]

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Rich