Girlfriend: It’s just because she’s so…unconventional.
Boyfriend: By “unconventional”, do you mean “pretty”?
–86th & Park
Overheard by: CStix
Girlfriend: It’s just because she’s so…unconventional.
Boyfriend: By “unconventional”, do you mean “pretty”?
–86th & Park
Overheard by: CStix
Fat guy #1: Yeah, she’s from Italy, she went to Venus to visit her grandmother.
Fat guy #2: Venus? How do you get to Venus?
Fat guy #1: Gondola.
–Grand Central food court
Overheard by: Muffy St. Jacques
Tourist fratboy #1: It said “Free Stress Test.”
Tourist fratboy #2: What’s Dianetics, anyway?
–Times Square
Overheard by: KN
Man #1: …so it was like a gilded lily.
Man #2: Ha ha. What does that mean, exactly?
Man #1: Well, a lily is already beautiful, so it doesn’t have to be, y’know, gilded.
Man #2: Like the gays?
Man #1: Exactly.
–Xing, 9th Ave & 52nd St.
Overheard by: C. Marisol de la Rosa
B&T chick: What I really liked about this guy is that he could write his name in cocaine. And underline it.
–Grand Central food court
Overheard by: Nathan K. Claus
Guy: All I want is for my relatives to die in a certain order.
–University Ave, Bronx
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Girl: We’re outside now. Now I can entertain you.
–57th & Park
Overheard by: heather
Hobo: Hey Mr. Rockafella, can you help a blackafella?
— 7th Av & W. 11th
Overheard by: Gillian Glasser
Drunken friend #1: That guy at the bar was hot. You totally should’ve taken him home.
Drunken friend #2: Why me? Let her (points to drunken friend #3) take him home.
Drunken friend #3 (trying to be discreet): Ummmm excuse me? I don’t need a man. I have d-i-c-k at home.
Drunken friend #2: Uhh, the rest of the train can figure out what you just spelled.
–Crowded 6 Train
Overheard by: ear hustler
Guy, about Empire State Building: Yeah, and for Valentine's Day they put a heart on it.
Visiting Australian woman: A what? A hard-on?
–Rooftop, Watching 4th of July Fireworks
Overheard by: i saw one of those on a building once…
Guido: I love these jeans. They’re so comfy-womfy.
–R train, Court St
Teen girl: Tissues are so overrated. That’s what long-sleeved shirts are for. That’s why no one wears short-sleeved shirts!
–TGIFriday, 42nd St
Conductor: Down coats are very poofy. Please pull them in from the doors.
–Crowded F train
Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.
Puking guy, using hat to catch his vomit: I don’t think I’m ever gonna be able to wear this hat again. It was a good hat.
–A train
Overheard by: Joseph
Teen girl, about gift for boyfriend: Can you imagine me getting him a sweater that’s too small and going, ‘Oh, it’s too small? I’ll take it!’
–R train
Chick: She was a tasteful goth… but she was wearing a cape.
–4th & Lafayette
HS girl #1: God, I hate English. It’s so hard!
HS girl #2: Yeah, I just don’t get this whole verb/noun thing.
–Starbucks, 94th & Broadway
Overheard by: Dunkee Hotay
