Girl: …So I asked him, “Do you speak German?” and he was like, “The only German I speak is: men to the left, women and children to the
right.” And I said, “Dude, you’ve been watching too much Schindler’s List!”
–13th Street between 6th & 7th
Overheard by: Joe Quint
Black guy: Yo, can I get a dollar for a hot dog?
White guy: Sorry. This is my last fiver.
White woman: Here ya go.
Black guy: That’ll do.
White woman: You could at least say thank you.
Black guy: I did. I was speaking ebonics.
–Gray’s Papaya, 8th Avenue
Overheard by: CRE
Suit on cell: Hey, guess where I am?…Guess…I’m in Glasgow!
–Carmine & Bleecker
Overheard by: Chris Cotterman
Preppy guy: How am I racist? I’m Irish! I can’t be racist!
–9th Street & 3rd Avenue
Overheard by: Miss Hipstah
Woman on cell: My daughter went to Montreal. I was like, “Why do you have to go where the French go? Why couldn’t you just go to Ontario?”
–55th & 3rd
Bag lady: Can I have a quarter? The Irish have taken over the YMCA.
–22nd & 5th
Overheard by: smanikas
Thug: Paisano?…It’s like “my nigga” but in Italian.
–Times Square
Overheard by: KRUD
Man: Oh, it is so good to hear English again.
Customs guy: Actually, I speak Brooklyn.
–JFK
Overheard by: Benjamin Silverberg
Girl #1: Oh my god, I wonder what language was that?
Girl #2: That was English.
–Broadway between 101st & 102nd
Chick: So when he talks about Britain, does that mean England too?
–Fordham
Overheard by: e. glass
US woman (to UK guy): You speak another language, only with American words.
–49th & 6th
Overheard by: David Grote
Chick #1, signing to other friend: Ha!
Chick #2: What does that mean?!
Chick #1: That means ‘I’m going to shit in your vagina.’
–Hot ‘n’ Crusty Pizza
Drunk girl, to owner of pizza place: Hasta mañana!
Drunk guy: That’s not Italian!
Drunk girl: He’s not Italian, he’s Greek! He speaks Yiddish and Greek!
–30th & 3rd
White homie teen: Chicken fill-ett.
Latino homie teen: That’s “fill-ay”. Hah, “fill-ett“. Ha ha ha, “fill-ett“.
White homie teen: You’re teaching me English?
–Wendy’s, Bensonhurst
Girl #1: But… Isn't he from Japan?
Girl #2: Duh, Japanese people speak Chinese!
Girl #1: Oh my god! (laughs) You are so funny! People from Japan speak Spanish. Everybody knows that!
–A Train
Overheard by: Hiding In The Corner (Highly Disturbed.)
