Languages

Chick: So when he talks about Britain, does that mean England too?

–Fordham

Overheard by: e. glass

US woman (to UK guy): You speak another language, only with American words.

–49th & 6th

Overheard by: David Grote

Chick #1, signing to other friend: Ha!
Chick #2: What does that mean?!
Chick #1: That means ‘I’m going to shit in your vagina.’

–Hot ‘n’ Crusty Pizza

Drunk girl, to owner of pizza place: Hasta mañana!
Drunk guy: That’s not Italian!
Drunk girl: He’s not Italian, he’s Greek! He speaks Yiddish and Greek!

–30th & 3rd

White homie teen: Chicken fill-ett.
Latino homie teen: That’s “fill-ay”. Hah, “fill-ett“. Ha ha ha, “fill-ett“.
White homie teen: You’re teaching me English?

–Wendy’s, Bensonhurst

Girl #1: But… Isn't he from Japan?
Girl #2: Duh, Japanese people speak Chinese!
Girl #1: Oh my god! (laughs) You are so funny! People from Japan speak Spanish. Everybody knows that!

–A Train

Overheard by: Hiding In The Corner (Highly Disturbed.)

Cop holding machine gun: Where you from?
Tourist: England.
Cop (in terrible British accent): Smashing! Brilliant!
Tourist: Um… Yeah.

–City Hall

British art guy: You know what I love about Americans?
American art guy: What’s that?
British art guy: When I say the word ‘fag,’ they think I’m talking about smoking and not being homophobic. Even if I say, ‘I want to ass-fuck that fag,’ I can get away with it because I’m British.

–Soho

Guy: Naw, naw, I read that he died.
Girl: J.K. Rowling is a woman, and she’s not dead; she just wrote this book.
Guy: Naw…you sure? I really think I read that he died.
Girl: No! Anyway, she said that in the wizarding world, Muggles–
Guy: Muggles? Oh, is that one of those British words?
Girl: No, it’s just a word she made up.
Guy: Right, and we wouldn’t understand it here, because it’s one of them British words.

–M train

Overheard by: Kev

President: Are they de-seminating the office?…I mean decimating?

–40th & Madison Ave

Overheard by: EScrillz

Girl reading poster: The fastest… (pause) "fastest." Is that a word?

–42nd St AMC Theatre

Overheard by: Steph

Man on cell: Yeah, well that's what the beasting is for!

–Penn Station

Woman to friends: You know me, I say what I speak.

–Fordham Road

Frenchman trying to learn English: I was a beef with those potatoes!

–TGI Fridays, Times Square

Overheard by: CS

Hipster art student to friend: As much as…like…whatever, like.

–School of Visual Arts

Overheard by: I guess that's English

Tourist: I feel so elated! Wait…no, I mean, "violated."

–Uptown 3 Train

Overheard by: Sally Tempo

Hispanic mother: Do you want to take the classes in English or Spanish, sweetie?
Little girl: English!
Mother, disappointed: Oh. Well, I want you to take them in Spanish.

–Metropolitan Museum of Art

Overheard by: Fresca P.