Further Evidence That Judaism Has an I.Q. Prerequisite

Wannabe Jew: Shprehen ze Deutche?
Religious Jew: Huh?
Wannabe Jew: Isn’t that how you say “do you speak Yiddish?” in Yiddish?
Religious Jew: No.
(wannabe Jew looks around and walks away)

–Brooklyn Public Library

Posted on December 9, 2021
Brooklyn, Jews, Judaism, Language Barrier, Library, Questions, Shiksas (& other Gentiles), Yiddish

Hooked on Wednesday One‐Liners Worked for Me!

Tween girl: No, it’s “Yiddish”! “Yiddish,” not “ribbit.”

–Penn Station

Overheard by: ragnvaeig

20‐something girl to older friend: No, no… “ghetto” is just slang – it’s not a real word.

–PATH Train

Guy on cell: Yo. (pause) Yo, yo. (pause) Yo, yo. (pause) Yo, yo, yo.

–Pacific St & Atlantic Ave

Overheard by: jayloo

Guy to another, who has obviously caused him some emotional strife: I just don’t understand why you had to did me so dirty.

–Hudson River Park

Teenage boy: But I ain’t know where was them talkin’ about it! (teenage friend nods sympathetically)

–Downtown 6 Train

Girl to guy: It must be your manstinct. (pause) Not ya manstink!

–Central Park

Posted on January 6, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Central Park, Friends, Girls, Guys, Hudson River, Language Barrier, Languages, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Penn Station, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Street, Stupidity, Teens, Trains Not Subway, Tweens, Wednesday One-Liners, Words, Yiddish

‘…A Nation Where They Will Not be Judged by the Color of Their Skin, But by the Blood Alcohol Content of Their Character’

Drunk girl, to owner of pizza place: Hasta mañana!
Drunk guy: That’s not Italian!
Drunk girl: He’s not Italian, he’s Greek! He speaks Yiddish and Greek!

–30^th & 3^rd

Posted on June 29, 2006
Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Food, Jews, Language Barrier, Languages, Manhattan, Murray Hill and Gramercy, People, Pizza, Places, Restaurants & Cafes, Topics, Venues, Words, Yiddish

Parve Wednesday One‐liners

Bouncer: You see, the schlemiel is the guy who spills his soup in a restaurant. The schlimazel is the guy who has the soup spilled on him.

–1^st & A

Guy: Well, what color was this Jew?

–Fort Greene

Woman on cell: …That’s just so not my thing. I am not that kind of Jew, Larry, okay?

–Union Square

Overheard by: Nicole

Lady lawyer: This is a disaster. They should never put non‐Jews in charge of the catering.

–Office, Rockefeller Plaza

Chick: Come to think of it, all of my Jewish friends went to summer camp. Isn’t that kind of ironic though; Jews at camp?

–Fordham University, Lincoln Center

Overheard by: Amanda

Teen boy: I want to be Jewish when I grow up.

–A train

Overheard by: drewseph

Guy on cell: You deserve a gold Jewish Star of David!…Did you swallow?…Yeah, that’s true, one step at a time.

–Astoria

Overheard by: SEM

Posted on March 22, 2006
Alphabet City, Bars & Clubs, Bouncers, Food, Lower East Side, Yiddish