Girl: Oh my God! I meant to tell you!
Guy: What?
Girl: Yesterday I was walking on 5th Avenue and this horde of middle-aged women stopped me to ask where I got my Ralph Lauren shirt.
Guy: No way!
Girl: It was great.
Guy: The one with the big horse on it?
Girl: It’s a pony, not a horse!
Guy: What’s the difference?
Girl: It’s different.
Guy: Can you explain the difference?
Girl: No.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: pixelvisions
Chick: Dave, you’ve heard of Foucault, right?
Guy: No, I don’t have one.
–143rd & Broadway
Overheard by: djlindee
Yarmulke guy: You play the guitar?
Blue collar guy: Yeah, but not Havah Nagila or anything.
–3 train
Guy: You can never underestimate the importance of cuticles.
Girl: Yeah, you can.
–108th & Amsterdam
Drunk girl: Is that the line for the bathroom?
Sober guy: No, that’s people who like looking at the bathrooms.
–Harry’s, Long Island City
Overheard by: Trix
Pretty boy: Man, I think I’m getting a migraine.
Southern chick: Guys don’t get migraines, they get cluster headaches.
Pretty boy: Go the fuck back to the prairie, Doctor Quinn, Medicine Woman.
–Delancey & Orchard
Overheard by: dj wantwo
Guy #1: I just don’t like the taste of water.
Guy #2: Who doesn’t like water?
Guy #1: Me.
–Palladium, 14th Street
Overheard by: Brian
Girl: I can’t believe you just made me jaywalk!
Guy: Where the hell are you from?
–4th & Broadway
Girl #1: So this guy built this house, but only had 9 out of 10 permits, so he couldn’t live in it.
Girl #2: 9 out of 10 ain’t bad though.
Girl #3: Yeah. Isn’t that, like, 90% or something?
–LaGuardia & Houston
Man: So you went to the Champs Elysee in Paris?
Woman: Yeah, it was cool. Kinda like Madison Avenue, just smaller…
–Frank, 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: Englishman in NY
Girl: Mom, how long do you think the turtle will live?
Mother: What do I look like, a fucking turtle connoisseur?
–Canal & West Broadway
Overheard by: David Kopach
Dude: Does the Parks Commission feed squirrels and pigeons?
Parks guy: No.
Dude: Why not?
Parks guy: Listen, I saw a pigeon drinking a Heineken the other day. I got no respect for pigeons.
–Madison Square Park
Driver: Hey man, are you a cab driver?
Cabbie: No, I’m a taxi driver.
–Cab, Astoria
