Questions

Tourist woman: I had no idea the Guggenheim Museum was so cheesy looking. What’s it made out of? Is that papier mache or something?
Tourist man: Well, I remember reading somewhere that Frank Lloyd Wright really was a nut.

–5th Ave. & 88th St.

Overheard by: Galen Chistopher

Woman: Why are you smiling and licking your lips at me? Do you do this to all the customers?

–J & R Music World, Park Row

Overheard by: mimi lester

Girl: Why the fuck is that other train moving?
Boy: Because that train isn’t fucking defective.
Girl: Whatever.

–1 train

Woman #1: Excuse me, does the N train stop at Central Park?
Woman #2: Lady, go ask a fucking crystal ball, or learn how to read a damn subway map.

–Union Square station

Overheard by: Craig D

A truck driver is parked on the side of the road, honking at what appears to be nothing at all. A female pedestrian shoots him a dirty look.

Truck driver: Nobody’s honking at you, you dumb bitch!

–Bay Ridge

Tourist: Which way is the Empire State Building?
Newspaper vendor: What do I look like, a fuckin’ road map?

–outside Grand Central

Overheard by: Dork

A trendy guy walked out into oncoming traffic, forcing an SUV to slam on the brakes. The driver screamed out of his open window: The hell you think you are, my hood ornament?

–40th & 7th

Dowager: What we really need to do is to educate these poor people so they don’t have sex. It’s the poor people who keep spreading all the STDs and the AIDS. Do you know any rich people with STDs? I didn’t think so.

–MoMA cafe

Lady #1: I can’t believe she said those things. She was so politically incorrect.
Lady #2: Well what did you expect her to say?
Lady #1: Something humanly correct.

–Shubert Theatre, 44th Street

Boy, 10 #1: What’s credit? How do you get credit?
Boy, 10 #2: It’s like, you know when you take out a book with your library card? If you don’t return it like forever, then you get bad credit.

–6 train

Overheard by: bluesdog

Guard: Safety first! That’s a Harold Lloyd film. Safety First. 1928. You ever watch any of those old Harold Lloyd films?

–51st between 6th and 7th

Overheard by: Crunkyteen

Guy: Wait, I missed that. So you were born, and then what happened?

–Brooklyn Botanical Gardens

Overheard by: Sherri Feldman

Caribbean woman: Will dis [wine cooler] drunk me?
Caribbean man: No, that won’t drunk you.

–Yvette Clarke for Congress HQ, Crown Heights

Teenage Girl #1: How much longer?
Teenage Girl #2: I think 3 more stops, then we get the L train.
Teenage Girl #1: You kidding me? It’s taking forever, I feel like we’re in Connecticut!

–C train