Questions

Gay man in hipster glasses, sticking ass out: Papi! It hurts! Open it up and see what’s wrong!
Blonde white girl, whining: But what does that meeeeeeannnnn?

–Bleecker & Perry

Short white guy: Y’know, you remind me of James Earl Jones.
Tall white guy: Who’zat?
Short white guy: What?
Tall white guy: Oh, wait, is he black?
Short white guy: No, I think he’s Chinese.
Tall white guy: I have a Chinese friend.

–W 4th St & Jane

Overheard by: Anthony

Lady: I’m lactose intolerant!
Waitress: Then why are you putting butter on your bread?
Lady: I didn’t know butter was dairy! I thought it came from eggs!

–Veselka, E 9th & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Katznik

Man: Is Tom Hanks married to Rita Wilson?
Two women: Yeah.
Man: Is that why they called the Volleyball “Wilson” in Cast Away?

–97th & 5th

Overheard by: Rob Dobrenski

20‐something female shopkeeper to coworker, as Michael Jackson’s “Rock with You” plays on the radio: Did you hear he’s sick? Apparently, he’s in the hospital. I know, it’s crazy. Can you imagine if he dies? If he dies, that’ll be, like, the most awful thing to happen to America in years!

–Pet Food Store

Overheard by: Nathalie

Suit on cell: What if Michael Jackson sucking your dick was the cure for cancer?

–8th & Broadway

Man, lighting cigarette: So what’d he die from? A sunburn?

–Chambers St. & West Broadway

Middle aged black lady on cell: If you can get Michael Jackson on a condom box it would definitely sell.

–MacDougal & 8th St

Nine‐year‐old boy, pointing to a newspaper article, to younger sister: Oh yeah, that guy? He was fifty. He used to be a black guy but made himself become white.

–Canal & Orchard, Chinatown

Overheard by: Lauren T.

Large tattooed man, discussing Michael Jackson: One of those kids is his; the other two can’t be, they’re white. They were all unofficially inseminated, though.

–Delancey & Essex

Black guy: Where you from?
Tourist: Maryland.
Black guy: Cool. I’ve seen The Wire. I know how you guys get down.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Alex

Girl #1: Why is it so hot in here?
Girl #2: Hobo farts.

–1 train station, 168th St

Young Jewish guy #1: You know how you’re allowed to make jokes about 911 if you’re from New York?
Young Jewish guy #2: Yeah, totally. You’re definitely allowed to do that.
Young Jewish guy #1: Exactly. It’s just like a Jew being able to make a joke about the Holocaust.
Young Jewish guy #2: Of course. It’s like a rite of passage or something.

–Pier 3, Brooklyn

Ice cream truck guy to boy on scooter: How are you doing, little man?
Little boy to ice cream guy: How are you doing, faggot?

–Astoria, Queens

Black woman, looking at costumes: For Halloween I’m gonna be a slave.
Black man: For real?
Black woman: Will you be my master?

–3rd Ave & 25th St

Overheard by: Ivonna