That’s Something You Have to Figure Out for Yourself, Young Padwan

Gay man in hipster glasses, sticking ass out: Papi! It hurts! Open it up and see what’s wrong!
Blonde white girl, whining: But what does that meeeeeeannnnn?

–Bleecker & Perry

Posted on June 6, 2023
Girls, Health and Hygiene, Hipsters, Offers and requests, Queer guys, Questions, Weirdness, West Village, White People

This Could Go on All. Friggin. Day.

Short white guy: Y’know, you remind me of James Earl Jones.
Tall white guy: Who’zat?
Short white guy: What?
Tall white guy: Oh, wait, is he black?
Short white guy: No, I think he’s Chinese.
Tall white guy: I have a Chinese friend.

–W 4^th St & Jane

Overheard by: Anthony

Posted on June 4, 2023
About Celebrities, Compare/Contrast, Questions, Race, West Village, White People

Or Was That Mustard?

Lady: I’m lactose intolerant!
Waitress: Then why are you putting butter on your bread?
Lady: I didn’t know butter was dairy! I thought it came from eggs!

–Veselka, E 9^th & 2^nd Ave

Overheard by: Katznik

Posted on June 1, 2023
Default, Food, Health and Hygiene, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village, Waitresses, Weirdness, Women

Even Ebert Didn’t Catch That

Man: Is Tom Hanks married to Rita Wilson?
Two women: Yeah.
Man: Is that why they called the Volleyball “Wilson” in Cast Away?

–97^th & 5^th

Overheard by: Rob Dobrenski

Posted on May 28, 2023
About Celebrities, Friends, Movies, Questions, Upper East Side

Wednesday One‐Glove‐Liners

20‐something female shopkeeper to coworker, as Michael Jackson’s “Rock with You” plays on the radio: Did you hear he’s sick? Apparently, he’s in the hospital. I know, it’s crazy. Can you imagine if he dies? If he dies, that’ll be, like, the most awful thing to happen to America in years!

–Pet Food Store

Overheard by: Nathalie

Suit on cell: What if Michael Jackson sucking your dick was the cure for cancer?

–8^th & Broadway

Man, lighting cigarette: So what’d he die from? A sunburn?

–Chambers St. & West Broadway

Middle aged black lady on cell: If you can get Michael Jackson on a condom box it would definitely sell.

–MacDougal & 8^th St

Nine‐year‐old boy, pointing to a newspaper article, to younger sister: Oh yeah, that guy? He was fifty. He used to be a black guy but made himself become white.

–Canal & Orchard, Chinatown

Overheard by: Lauren T.

Large tattooed man, discussing Michael Jackson: One of those kids is his; the other two can’t be, they’re white. They were all unofficially inseminated, though.

–Delancey & Essex

Posted on May 27, 2023
About Celebrities, Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, BJs, Black People, Brothers, Cancer, Chinatown, Colors, Compare/Contrast, Condoms, Coworkers, Death, Fat People, Health and Hygiene, Illness, Kids, Lower East Side, Men, Music, On Cell, One-liners, Penis, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Questions, Race, Sisters, Store, Street, Stupidity, Suits, The Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Yeah, We Make New Yorkers Look Like Teacup Poodles

Black guy: Where you from?
Tourist: Maryland.
Black guy: Cool. I’ve seen The Wire. I know how you guys get down.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Alex

Posted on May 25, 2023
Black People, Default, Questions, Times Square, Tourists, TV, U.S. Geography

New York City’s Alternative Energy Source

Girl #1: Why is it so hot in here?
Girl #2: Hobo farts.

–1 train station, 168^th St

Posted on May 23, 2023
Default, Farting & Burping, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Heat, Homeless, Questions, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Train Station

I Think I’ve Seen This Seinfeld Episode…

Young Jewish guy #1: You know how you’re allowed to make jokes about ⁹⁄₁₁ if you’re from New York?
Young Jewish guy #2: Yeah, totally. You’re definitely allowed to do that.
Young Jewish guy #1: Exactly. It’s just like a Jew being able to make a joke about the Holocaust.
Young Jewish guy #2: Of course. It’s like a rite of passage or something.

–Pier 3, Brooklyn