Guy #1: It’s a morning-after pill.
Guy #2: For him or her?
–6th Street & 2nd Avenue
Guy #1: It’s a morning-after pill.
Guy #2: For him or her?
–6th Street & 2nd Avenue
Hetard: What did you do that for?
Shetard: Because I love you.
Hetard: Why do you love me?
Shetard: If I have to answer that again this week, I will shoot myself.
–Port Authority
Tourist woman #1: This is a really quaint neighborhood!
Tourist woman #2: Yeah, but it’s really expensive. A small one-bedroom apartment is like $1,000 a month!
Tourist woman #1: Oh, my! Why would someone pay that?
–Bleecker & 11th
Girl: Oh my God! I meant to tell you!
Guy: What?
Girl: Yesterday I was walking on 5th Avenue and this horde of middle-aged women stopped me to ask where I got my Ralph Lauren shirt.
Guy: No way!
Girl: It was great.
Guy: The one with the big horse on it?
Girl: It’s a pony, not a horse!
Guy: What’s the difference?
Girl: It’s different.
Guy: Can you explain the difference?
Girl: No.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: pixelvisions
Chick: Dave, you’ve heard of Foucault, right?
Guy: No, I don’t have one.
–143rd & Broadway
Overheard by: djlindee
Yarmulke guy: You play the guitar?
Blue collar guy: Yeah, but not Havah Nagila or anything.
–3 train
Guy: You can never underestimate the importance of cuticles.
Girl: Yeah, you can.
–108th & Amsterdam
Drunk girl: Is that the line for the bathroom?
Sober guy: No, that’s people who like looking at the bathrooms.
–Harry’s, Long Island City
Overheard by: Trix
Pretty boy: Man, I think I’m getting a migraine.
Southern chick: Guys don’t get migraines, they get cluster headaches.
Pretty boy: Go the fuck back to the prairie, Doctor Quinn, Medicine Woman.
–Delancey & Orchard
Overheard by: dj wantwo
Guy #1: I just don’t like the taste of water.
Guy #2: Who doesn’t like water?
Guy #1: Me.
–Palladium, 14th Street
Overheard by: Brian
Girl: I can’t believe you just made me jaywalk!
Guy: Where the hell are you from?
–4th & Broadway
Girl #1: So this guy built this house, but only had 9 out of 10 permits, so he couldn’t live in it.
Girl #2: 9 out of 10 ain’t bad though.
Girl #3: Yeah. Isn’t that, like, 90% or something?
–LaGuardia & Houston
Man: So you went to the Champs Elysee in Paris?
Woman: Yeah, it was cool. Kinda like Madison Avenue, just smaller…
–Frank, 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: Englishman in NY
