Tourist woman #1: I’d like to speak to a nun.
Receptionist lady: The nuns don’t talk to the public. You can meet with a priest. He’ll be available in an hour. Is anything wrong?
Tourist woman #1: We were going up for communion and the minister asked my friend if she was Catholic.
Receptionist lady: Is she Catholic?
Tourist woman #2: I’m Methodist. We take communion too.
— St. Patrick’s Cathedral Rectory
Overheard by: Traveler Bill
Girl: Oh my God! I meant to tell you!
Guy: What?
Girl: Yesterday I was walking on 5th Avenue and this horde of middle-aged women stopped me to ask where I got my Ralph Lauren shirt.
Guy: No way!
Girl: It was great.
Guy: The one with the big horse on it?
Girl: It’s a pony, not a horse!
Guy: What’s the difference?
Girl: It’s different.
Guy: Can you explain the difference?
Girl: No.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: pixelvisions
Salesgirl: How’d you get that bruise?
Customer: I was jumproping and I fell.
Salesgirl: Aren’t you a little old to be jumproping?
Customer: Aren’t you a little fat to be working at The Gap?
–The Gap, 48th & 6th
Middle-aged theatrical man, watching summer crowds: Ah! Manhattan in the summer… The hypnotic sway of the unfettered breast…
–Rockefeller Center
Woman on cell to friend: If I have hips this big and I haven't even had a kid, I'm getting boobs. I just want a nice round c cup!
–14th St & 10th ave
Overheard by: adam
Girl to boyfriend, after putting cell phone in her jacket: Yeah… That's not a pocket, that's my tit.
–L Train
Overheard by: TR
Guy on cell phone: What's up, biscuit-tits?
–21st St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Steve
16-year-old girl to buxom pal: Your breasts are a personal attack on me!
–F Train
Overheard by: wish i was being attacked
Middle-aged woman: So, is she, like, skinny pregnant?
Friend: Yes, she looks like a model.
Middle-aged woman: Good, there is just no excuse to gain weight during pregnancy.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: except for having a baby inside of you?
Young thug to friends: Stop, stop, stop! Stop, seriously, stop. C'mon, I'm not kidding! Seriously. I have shoe phobia!
–Metro-North Rail
Guy with shoe in hand, catching up to woman who lost it: Here you go, Cinderella!
–Manhattan Mall
Overheard by: thorn
Manager of ladies' shoe store: It's easy to close. You put the hooker boots–all this hoochie stuff, with the hooker boots, you put the flats with the flats, you put the day shoes with the day shoes. Now, Narnia over there is another story…
–Macy's
Overheard by: Sarah R
Chick to guy: If you buy me Jimmy Choos, I'll have your baby.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Lets hope she'll have the baby anyway…
Four-year-old girl stepping out of taxi: Mommy, can we go online to buy shoes today?
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: …wow.
Santa: Merry Christmas, young lady.
60-something woman: I’m old…
Santa: Well, I’m older… Look at my beard!
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: IS and JC
Mom: Let’s take the stairs, honey.
Thick daughter: Are you saying I’m fat?
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Jason
Midwestern man, about woman spinning in center of ice rink: Awww, someone’s reflecting on times passed.
New Yorker: Look at that chick in the middle — thinks she’s a fuckin’ Olympian! [Yells at her] Nice work, retard!
–Rockefeller Center
Bubbly blonde: Isn’t it amazing how you don’t know how to do something and then you do?
–Rockefeller Center Cafeteria
Overheard by: emma
