Those Junkies Aren’t Looking Very Pudgy, Either

Girl #1: Coke. Has to be. You don’t lose weight that fast any other way.
Girl #2: I do that sometimes. You know, just to jump start the weight loss.

–Crunch, Lafayette Street

Girl on cell: Holy shit Daddy, I need to get some coke again, I can’t fit into a size 2 anymore!

–Gap dressing room, 34th & 6th

Overheard by: divaliscious

Queer #1: Her tattoo is, like, a mushroom. Like a magic mushroom. On her lower back, like on her ass. But she is thick, man, she has like, spare tires. I mean, I have love handles, but she has spare tires!
Queer #2: Yeah…
Queer #1: It’s like, when she and her friend say they are having a fat day, I just wanna be like, “Girl! You are having a fat week! Or a fat year!” I mean, she is thick!
Queer #2: Yeah…
Queer #1: But really, sometimes I just wanna be like, “Jenna, you do so much coke, how are you still so fat?”

–N train

Overheard by: queenie

Posted on April 15, 2026
Cocaine, Diet/Weight, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

Make Sure You Take Off Your Fat Ass Pants First

Girl #1: Oh, I never want to have sex when I feel fat.
Girl #2: But I feel fat and want to have sex tonight. I’m so conflicted!
Girl #1: Well, go home and take a laxative, it will make you feel better.

–Amsterdam & 68th

Posted on January 27, 2026
Bimbettes, Diet/Weight, Medicine, Sex, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Can I Have Your Autograph, Wednesday One-liners?

Old Jewess: That Suzanne Somers has some nerve. She is writing another diet book. I have a friend who has read all her diet books and every year she gets fatter and fatter.

–Music Box theatre, West 45th Street

Fratboy: She was like an ugly Paris Hilton, but not rich.

–C train

Overheard by: nicolette

Guy: I’m gonna beat you like an Olsen twin.

–68th & Columbus

Overheard by: Andrew Zar

Teen boy: Yo, I heard that Tupac was named after a Jewish holiday.

–Red Hook

Guy: Yeah, you know, that’s the great thing about the Kennedys: they get $1 off of every bottle of Scotch that they buy. You know, because their dad was a bootlegger and all.

–52 & Lexington

Posted on January 11, 2026
A-List, About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Arts & Letters, B-List, Books & Writing, Boys, Brooklyn, Celebrities, D-List, Diet/Weight, Drinking & Drunk People, Families, Fighting and ass kicking, Frat Boys, Guys, Holidays, Insults, Jews, Judaism, Lower East Side, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Music, On the Subway, People, Places, Politics, Pop Culture, Religion, Teens, Topics, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Violence, Women, Yeaaahhh College!

Better Than Fat People Doing It in Front of You

Girl #1: We should go to a karaoke bar, get a whole bunch of people and get a room.
Girl #2: A room?
Girl #1: Yeah, they have private rooms.
Girl #2: Oh! So you don’t have to do it in front of fat people!

–11th Street between 1st & 2nd

Overheard by: Cait O’Connor

Posted on January 4, 2026
Diet/Weight, Girls, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Singing

It’s Not Literally Iceberg Lettuce

Receptionist: You’re looking good lately. Healthy.
UPS guy: Thanks, I’ve been trying to only drink liquids. You know, water, a salad once in a while.

–Borough Park

Overheard by: Vicki

Posted on December 16, 2025
Brooklyn, Clerks, Diet/Weight, Food, Health and Hygiene, Men

Like Lindsay Lohan, But Pretty

Chick: We think you should sleep with David.
Queer: We think he’s the kind of guy who’s really scrawny but has a real big cock.

–Lillie’s, Red Hook

Posted on December 11, 2025
Bars & Clubs, Diet/Weight, Friends, Penis, Queer guys, Sex

The Lighter Side of…Eating Disorders

Girl: It doesn’t matter if you’re skinny or fat–being anorexic is when you don’t eat because you only think that you’re fat!
Guy: No, people don’t eat because they’re not hungry.

–N train

Overheard by: Steph Lo

Sunbathing chick #1: Oh, girl, you so skinny. They should name you “Miss Congene-u-ality”.
Sunbather #2: Oh no no no, I don’t puke.

–Central Park Great Lawn

Overheard by: Jordan the Intern

Man: So let me get this straight: you still buy him stuffed animals–
Woman: Yeah.
Man: –but he just broke up with his girlfriend because she got too fat.
Woman: Yup.
Man: How old is he?
Woman: Nine.

–Starbucks, 114th & Broadway

Overheard by: Jack Vanston

Posted on December 5, 2025
Age/Aging, Breaking Up, Diet/Weight, Health and Hygiene, Should've Used a Condom, Vomit, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

You’re Giving Yourself Too Much Credit

Girl #1: Oh my god there’s too many people in this elevator! There’s only supposed to be 10 people!
Girl #2: It’s OK, I’m skinny. In my own reality I’m actually only half a person.

–Hotel Gansevoort, 9th Avenue

Overheard by: Priscilla Perez