Diet/Weight

Wednesday One-Liners Would Rather Be Thin and Dead

Young woman: Oh… I don’t eat dinner anymore. That’s my new thing.

–Bloomingdale’s, 59th St & Lex

Overheard by: Emily Duncanson

Mother to size-4 daughter: If you were skinny you’d look good in these clothes.

–Zara, Lex & 59th St

Queer: Go ahead, get dessert. You can just purge it up later.

–Azul Bistro, Stanton St & Suffolk St

Girl on cell: Why do you always ask if I’m anorexic? What’s so wrong about being bulimic?

–7 train

Overheard by: Dorothy

Ana girl: Look at those kids eating… Eating…

–Lowes, Times Square

Overheard by: julia

Guy: Please, I did so much coke, I can fit into these pants.

–3rd Ave & 14th St

Queer on cell: Eating disorders are healthy.

–23rd St & 8th St

Overheard by: Also a Homo

She Stopped Eating the Granulated Kind Straight from the Bag

Zaftig female usher: I’m trying so hard to lose weight, but I’m having the hardest time!
Obese female usher: You have to cut out sugar. That’s what I do.

–Avenue Q, Golden Theatre

Hard to Imagine Heaven without Cheese

Mother: Shit, girl. You ain’t getting no more cheese for the rest of eternity if I got anything to do with it.
Young girl, crying: I hope I die.
Mother: Well, when you die, heaven help you, they know you lactose intolerant up there, too. So no funny stuff, understand?

–B63 bus, Park Slope

Overheard by: John Proctor

NYC Rules Require This to Continue Until the First “Fuck You”

Chubby girl customer: So, no fights in here today?
Middle-aged sandwich artist: What happened to you?
Chubby girl customer: I was scared to come back after last time!
Middle-aged sandwich artist: No, I mean, you’re gaining weight.

–Subway sandwich shop, Times Square

Overheard by: Emma

Panda Bears Go Through This on a Daily Basis

Girl #1: I can’t go out with him. He’s fat.
Girl #2: So are you.
Girl #1: Really? Oh… yeah.

–Applebee’s, Times Square

Overheard by: eee!

A Venti One

Customer: Hey, you lost a lot of weight.
Barista: No, I gave birth two weeks ago.
Customer: To a baby?

–Starbucks

Overheard by: mjw51

Food and I Have Agreed to Date Other People

Chick #1: Did you eat anything tonight?
Chick #2: No. I haven’t been eating much lately, but not in the unhealthy way.

–Bowery & Spring

“Socially” Fat

Teen boy: So, is she fat like Kelly is fat?
Teen girl: You mean, is she just fat because we don’t like her?

–Central Park

Overheard by: jennica

Yup. I Could Tell from That Nauseated Look on Your Face.

Woman #1 in elevator: Why aren't you wearing a jacket? You're going to be freezing!
Woman #2: I don't need one. It's because I'm fat.
Woman #1: (silence)
Woman #2: You know it's true. You're not saying anything because you know I'm fat. Most people would say, “No, no, no. You're not fat!” but you're not saying that because you think I'm fat. Think about it.
Woman #1: I'm thinking about it.

–39th St

You're the One Who Said Hot Dogs Aren't Real Food

NYU girl: There's not enough time. You can't get lunch.
NYU boy (running towards a hot dog cart): I can. I'm hungry!
NYU girl (shouting after him): You're fat!

–Washington Square Park

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