Mom: Stop giving your sister the evil eye! What did I tell you about giving people the evil eye?
Little boy: That they would be sent to Hell forever to live with the devil.
–Bx22 bus
Bookchick #1: I had to go and see a circumcision yesterday. Any mother who does that to their son is evil and should burn in Hell.
Bookchick #2: Yeah, but it’s much more hygienic.
Bookchick #1: So? Your labia gets dirty too.
–Barnes & Noble, 22nd & 6th
Overheard by: Vic Payback
Queer #1: We are going to the Kelly Clarkson concert in two weeks, you should come.
Queer #2: I have to go home that weekend. They are having a memorial for my grandpa who died. Maybe I can get out of it.
Queer #1: Seriously. I mean people die all the time, but Kelly Clarkson only comes to New York like twice a year.
–Splash, W. 17th Street
White girl: That’s terrible! The only thing I want my kids to be that I’m not is half-black.
–Columbia University
Woman #1: Oh, look over there… that is just tragic.
Woman #2: What?
Woman #1: Ugly twins.
–15th & 5th
Overheard by: Manhattman
Chick #1: Yeah, I’m really getting sick of our teacher. I mean, and maybe I shouldn’t say this, but I don’t care that she was raped by her
father as a child.
Chick #2: I know, that’s really none of our business. I don’t need to know that.
–168th Street station
Overheard by: bouch
Girl: So I hate both my dad and my stepdad.
Guy: That’s because your mom has shitty taste.
Girl: No, she has good tits!
–Rivington & Clinton
Overheard by: Tony Cacioppo
Little girl: I thought your mom wore really short skirts and see-through shirts.
Mother: No, that’s your other grandmother.
–F train
Girl: Well, one of my relatives on my grandmother’s side was one of Blackbeard’s First Mates…So, I have some pirate in me.
–56th & Park
American girl: Do you know who I think wants my brother’s friends?
Polish girl: Who is a twat?
American girl: No. Do you know who wants my brother’s friends?
Polish girl: Oh. Great.
–B61 bus
Dude: Look at those people there on the bench?
Chick: Which ones?
Dude: Those six people, all sitting there, all talking and animated and engaged with each other, each a representative of a different family of hair color. We totally just walked through their sitcom and we didn’t even know it.
–Washington Square Park
