Crazy guy: Fresh! I been made for this. Apostrophes don’t count.
–C train
Crazy guy: Fresh! I been made for this. Apostrophes don’t count.
–C train
Governor Pataki: Go out and study hard so you don’t get a bad exam on your grades.
–Cantor Film Center, East 8th Street
Overheard by: StyX
Man #1: The Tet Offensive was just confusing.
Man #2: Not really. I understood it completely.
Man #1: Well, let me use an analogy: it would be like if tomorrow, we went into Baghdad and removed all the troops. Is that how it was?
Man #2: Maybe; I don’t know what analogy means.
–Washington Place & 6th
Overheard by: Gradie Smith
A hobo has a cardboard sign that says “Ninjas killed parents, need money for Kugn [sic] Fu lessons.”
A cop comes up, and the hobo says: I don’t know why. I’ve already had five police come by and bother me today.
–14th & 5th
Overheard by: Casey
(cf. This guy.)
Chick #1: Yeah, I’m really getting sick of our teacher. I mean, and maybe I shouldn’t say this, but I don’t care that she was raped by her
father as a child.
Chick #2: I know, that’s really none of our business. I don’t need to know that.
–168th Street station
Overheard by: bouch
Preppy guy: I’m hardcore into the drug underground. Drugs and me, we’re like this.
Preppy chick: Drugs and I.
–53rd & 6th
Overheard by: djlindee
Black lady: He has a degree in computer science, just like his mama. He’s teaching at some school for the mentally retarded. Can you believe that? Teaching computer science to retards: who would do that?
–J. Crew dressing room, Prince Street
Guy: I want to go to FIT so I can hook up with girls.
–27th & 7th
Girl: I mean, I got shat on at Harvard.
–9th Street & 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: Kamran Javadizadeh
Woman: Is there a special event going on at Columbia this summer? Because I’ve seen a lot of Asians around.
–116th & Broadway
Overheard by: Carrie
Hipster girl: I mean, I’ve got like, over 160 facebook friends. Does that not mean anything?
–56th & 6th
Overheard by: Joyce Shen
Sociology professor: No one knows what the hell Derrida is talking about, but we all pretend we do anyway.
–Columbia
Overheard by: djlindee
Guy: So, I went on this audition, and they asked me, “Can you juggle and ride a unicycle?”. I mean, I can juggle, and I can ride a unicycle, but I can’t do both at once, I’m not a skills clown. Basically, my skill is falling. I can fall really well.
–A train
Overheard by: Berit J.
Girl: Mommy, what’s the opposite of hair?
–86th & Broadway
Overheard by: Stuart Weisberg
Mom: Don’t you know this is the liberry, not the cry-berry?
–The Fordham Library Center
Tween girl: …and the one Winnie the Pooh had a nice body…
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Jason B. Schmidt
Guy: …if my wife and I spit at the kids, nothing happens…but if a llama does they burst into tears.
–53rd & 6th
Overheard by: J-Mo
British guy: Can’t be more worse than having a baby every six months.
–116th & Lexington
Boy: Mommy, how many hours are in a mile?
–44th & 8th
Overheard by: BBW
Guy #1: So what do you do?
Guy #2: I’m a therapist.
Guy #1: Wow. Master’s or PhD?
Guy #2: Massage.
–22nd & 8th
Overheard by: Ben Wade
Dad: …you’ve got to use your middle finger.
Son: Which one’s the middle finger?
Dad: This one.
Son: Why’s it called the middle finger?
Dad: Because it’s in the middle of your hand, I guess. There’s two fingers on either side.
Son: That’s retarded.
Dad: It may sound retarded, but that’s the way it is.
–Astoria corner store
