Girl, walking across campus with friends: I think two beers and a shot is the perfect amount for that class!

University of Arizona

IT teacher: So if the CPU usage is really high, choose “end process tree” to kill the process.
Student in back, mumbling: That's what she said…
IT teacher: Damn right that's what she said!


Overheard by: Sunny

Professor: I think I popped a few Oxycontins before I wrote this so it might not make any sense.

Salem State College
Salem, Massachusetts

Sorostitute #1: Yeah, the handbook says I can either take two foreign language classes or two literature classes… So, like, I took the literature classes because, like, at least I can read that, y’know?
Sorostitute #2: So true…

Patterson School of Accountancy, University of Mississippi
University, Mississippi

Little girl trying on boots: Mom, can I get them?
Mom: Yes, but you have to take them off.
Little girl: Will you help me?
Mom: No, if you don't know how to take your own shoes off by now, I've done something very wrong.
Little girl, in low voice, taking boots off: …you have.

Bellingham, Washington

Overheard by: Rachel

Thug #1: Yo, nigga! I will beat you up! You hear me? I will demolish your ass!
Thug #2: Nah man, nah. I'll beat your ass!
Thug #1: Fuck that, nigga, fuck that.
Thug #1: Yo, nigga, what was our physics homework for last night?
Thug #2: Section 4. It's on that Archimedes' principle shit.

University of Louisville
Louisville, Kentucky

Teacher: You can use stethoscopes to listen to water in trees. You should listen to thin trees and trees with less bark.
Student: Should it be hardwood or softwood?
Teacher: Softwood. You can't beat softwood.

Alexandria, Virginia

Civil procedure professor: Don't you sometimes think this class would be better if we were all a little inebriated?

Law School
Los Angeles, California

Professor: You take some guppies from different populations in Trinidad, put them into little plastic bags, shove them down your pants, and smuggle them through the airport back to the lab in California. At least, that?s what we did.

Film studies professor: Until the 1970s, no one realized that the world was divided into men and women.

Birmingham University