Fat female student: I'm thirty-eight years old with a criminal justice degree, and I still can't find nothin' to do in this valley. Nobody's hirin', nothin'.
Skinny female student: Couldn't you just be a cop?
Fat female student: I can't be a cop. They give me a badge an' a gun, I'd be shootin' at fags and wetbacks. I mean, in this day in age… Not to be rude or anything…

West Virginia University

Government teacher: The finance committee is sexy. Who wants to be part of the education committee, anyway? They're lame.

High School
Los Angeles, California

Peer-taught health class leader: Do not open condoms with a knife.

Eugene, Oregon

Overheard by: nyssa

Teen girl #1: How was econ today?
Teen girl #2, indignantly: We actually learned something, I was so bummed…

Beverly Hills High School
Beverly Hills, California

Overheard by: zen

Professor: I mean, what’s with getting to know them? What about: You see someone, you don’t even talk, you penetrate them.

Los Angeles, CA

Physics professor, talking about static electricity: So why does it work when I'm sliding in a car with carpet seats wearing my wool sweater and not work when I'm sliding in a car with leather seats in my leather outfit?
Students: (shocked silence)
Professor: I mean…I don't…ummmm, moving on…

University of Evansville
Evansville, Indiana

Professor: Okay, time to get back to class.
Student: But this conversation is so rewarding.
Professor: Sorry, but some of us have to go out drinking later tonight.

Professor to creative writing class: This is probably one of the smartest things I've ever stumbled upon in my life, so I shouldn't blow my load this early.

University of Wisconsin

Overheard by: Mixi

Irritated English professor: I think I'm just going to change all my paper assignments to “create an inscrutable utterance.”

Ursinus College

Girl: But Gandhi — he, like, did so much for the world. He helped humanity.
Guy: Yeah, but we still shouldn’t have to write a paragraph about him.

Flint Hall, Syracuse University
Syracuse, New York

Overheard by: ears burning