Construction Guys

Hot girl walking through construction workers, expecting to be cat‐called: Oh boy, here we go.
Polite construction worker: Good morning.
Hot girl’s friend: How embarrassing.
Hot girl: Shut it.


Construction Worker: So is Camel Toe the same as Hammer Time?

–Pace University

Overheard by: Lil 

Conductor: There will be no Seven Train service today.
Hardhat: Good. After the Mets lose, we don’t need the fucking Seven Train!

–6 train

Overheard by: phenders

Construction worker #1: Yeah, she brought out the body oil and was rubbing it every! I was like “I don’t think I’m going to last too long now!“
Construction worker #2: That’s one of those dates where you really need to beat off before you go! You really gotta hit the testicles!

–42nd St & 8th Ave

Guy on cell: Come on, one third of Americans don’t pay their taxes. I want to be one of them.

–7th Ave & Garfield, Brooklyn

Guy on cell: Does he know where he is? This is America – this is America. They makin’ ice cream every second! I don’t know what he’s complainin’ about, they got chains makin’ food 24 hours a day…they even makin’ milk on Christmas!

–NJ Transit

Overheard by: Tess

Obnoxious black guy to another: I was watchin’ a special on tv last night talkin’ about how gays can’t be in the war! When they find out the whole America is gay, we’re screwed!

–45th & 9th

Construction worker to another: Hell, I could break down George Bush in a debate. And I’m a fuckin’ plumber! (pause) I hate my damn nation…

–Dunkin’ Donuts, Astoria, Queens

Conductor: This is the r local to Continental… Forest Hills… Queens… USA!

–R Train

Overheard by: Mugsy’s Moll

Construction worker #1: My boss, he’s got a mustache like Hitler.
Construction worker #2: Mine’s a Jew.


Construction worker #1: Make it look nice for the homeless here!
Construction worker #2: Oh yeah!

–Broadway/Lafayette station

Construction supervisor on cell: No, I didn’t know he was gay! That’s why I got rid of him. I had to find out the hard way.

–Evergreen Diner, W 46th St

Overheard by: Emilio Lizardo

Forklift operator #1: How’s it going, James?
Forklift operator #2: These boxes of matzah just ain’t cooperatin’.

–NYC Food Bank

Overheard by: Shane Hoffman

Construction worker: Hey beautiful, you have a lovely day.
Young girl: I’m fourteen, you perv!
Construction worker: Ay, puta…
Young girl: And I speak Spanish!

–9th St & University