Ghetto HS girl: Oh please! You thought you was lookin’ all fly, comin’ out wit yo five dolla t-shirt, do-rag and boots. Tryin’ ta holla at a girl. Sorry nigga, you ain’t the one.
Ghetto HS boy: I’m sorry for ya, ma. Thinkin’ I was tryin’ to get wit you. Head gettin’ all big…when you all busted. Playin’ mix tapes on ya face.
–R train
Overheard by: Cinnamaniac
Chinese guy: What are you, Brazilian? Argentinian? I can’t quite place my finger on it.
Indian girl: No, I’m Indian.
Chinese guy: Ooh. You’re my little tandoori chicken. Where’s your dot?
–KGB Bar, E. 4th Street
Woman: My butt is burning! This seat is so hot! I can’t believe it! Not that I think you’re interested, but I just want you to know my butt is burning.
Man: Actually, I kind of am interested.
Woman: That’s the one downside of having such nice seats: they’re in the sun all day! Seriously, my butt is on fire!
–US Open
Teen boy #1: Hey mami, looking good, shake it!…Yo, you’re all wet, have fun at the pool?
Teen boy #2: Yeah, you know, it was okay.
Teen boy #3: Wait, who are you talking to?
Teen boy #1: The lady!
She bursts out laughing.
The Lady: Morons.
–Astoria Park
Peddler #1: Ice cold water! Cold water for a hot lady!…Damn girl, a look like that?
Peddler #2: Girl like that don’t need no ice.
–Canal & Broadway
White woman: Are you available?
Teen Japanese boy: I’m sorry?
White woman: Are you…available?
Teen Japanese boy: Available for what?
White woman: You know…available?
Teen Japanese boy: Sorry, this is my stop.
–F train
Overheard by: Heather Red
Girl: You staring at me?
Guy: Yeah, but only ’cause you look so fine.
Girl: True. But you can stop checking me out now. These aren’t public titties, they’re private titties. For select audiences only, and you’re not a member.
–A train
Boy: Hey Grandma, do you have a map?
Grandma: No, not on me. A map of what?
Boy: Your eyes.
Grandma: My eyes? Why do you want a map of my eyes?
Boy: ’cause I keep getting lost in them.
–M23 bus
Overheard by: jessie
Man: Oh, man! Where have you been all my life?…Can I borrow your lighter?
Woman: Oh, thank goodness. I was like, “I’m flattered, but gay.”
–57th & 5th
Overheard by: (The) Heather Red
Guy: Oh, excuse me!…Want to make out?
–Centre & Chambers
Overheard by: Chris
Older man: …so they served these smaller things, like appetizers, in between the three main courses. You know how many they gave us? Four! There were four intercourses…
–West 53 Street office
Girl on cell: He shoots dope and smokes crack! I can’t think of a worse person for you to sleep with!…well, yeah, I guess…
–81st & Madison
Girl: I’d blow him every day if he’d let me drive his beamer more.
–Sheep’s Meadow
Tween girl: Shit, if I were 21, and he was like, “Yo, do you want some
beer?”, I’d be like, “Shit, only if you got a hotel room.” ’cause then
we could, like, go in it.
–Starbucks, 34th & 7th
Overheard by: marissa
Daily News guy: …and I said, “Just take me now, bitch!”
–Bar 288, Elizabeth Street
DMV guy: Who’s here for oral? Did anyone in this line sign up for oral?
–DMV, Atlantic Avenue Center
Overheard by: RMC
