Girl: Is your package big?
Guy: …I don’t know…depends on what my mom ordered.
–116th & Broadway
Overheard by: Bowserhsu
Girl: Is your package big?
Guy: …I don’t know…depends on what my mom ordered.
–116th & Broadway
Overheard by: Bowserhsu
Ghetto HS girl: Oh please! You thought you was lookin’ all fly, comin’ out wit yo five dolla t-shirt, do-rag and boots. Tryin’ ta holla at a girl. Sorry nigga, you ain’t the one.
Ghetto HS boy: I’m sorry for ya, ma. Thinkin’ I was tryin’ to get wit you. Head gettin’ all big…when you all busted. Playin’ mix tapes on ya face.
–R train
Overheard by: Cinnamaniac
Chinese guy: What are you, Brazilian? Argentinian? I can’t quite place my finger on it.
Indian girl: No, I’m Indian.
Chinese guy: Ooh. You’re my little tandoori chicken. Where’s your dot?
–KGB Bar, E. 4th Street
Woman: My butt is burning! This seat is so hot! I can’t believe it! Not that I think you’re interested, but I just want you to know my butt is burning.
Man: Actually, I kind of am interested.
Woman: That’s the one downside of having such nice seats: they’re in the sun all day! Seriously, my butt is on fire!
–US Open
Teen boy #1: Hey mami, looking good, shake it!…Yo, you’re all wet, have fun at the pool?
Teen boy #2: Yeah, you know, it was okay.
Teen boy #3: Wait, who are you talking to?
Teen boy #1: The lady!
She bursts out laughing.
The Lady: Morons.
–Astoria Park
Peddler #1: Ice cold water! Cold water for a hot lady!…Damn girl, a look like that?
Peddler #2: Girl like that don’t need no ice.
–Canal & Broadway
White woman: Are you available?
Teen Japanese boy: I’m sorry?
White woman: Are you…available?
Teen Japanese boy: Available for what?
White woman: You know…available?
Teen Japanese boy: Sorry, this is my stop.
–F train
Overheard by: Heather Red
Girl: You staring at me?
Guy: Yeah, but only ’cause you look so fine.
Girl: True. But you can stop checking me out now. These aren’t public titties, they’re private titties. For select audiences only, and you’re not a member.
–A train
Boy: Hey Grandma, do you have a map?
Grandma: No, not on me. A map of what?
Boy: Your eyes.
Grandma: My eyes? Why do you want a map of my eyes?
Boy: ’cause I keep getting lost in them.
–M23 bus
Overheard by: jessie
Man: Oh, man! Where have you been all my life?…Can I borrow your lighter?
Woman: Oh, thank goodness. I was like, “I’m flattered, but gay.”
–57th & 5th
Overheard by: (The) Heather Red
