Terms of Endearment

Teen boy #1: Yo, pussy!
Teen boy #2: You just called me a pussy?
Teen boy #1: You are what you eat! 

–Astor Place

Overheard by: Jenya 

Dartmouth boy: This girl I used to work with wore too much eyeliner — She was from the Midwest, she has a smile only a horse could love, skips around with lots of boyfriends, threw a birthday party for her dog — you get the picture. So she’s an ugly Midwestern girl who works at Goldman Sachs in the Muni Department, it’s not even real banking…

–Union Ave & Scholes, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Columbia Girl Who Can’t Stop Laughing

Husband: I would be the egg and you would be the quiche.
Wife: I am the quiche.
Husband: Aww, my little quichey!

–LaGuardia Airport

Girlfriend: Ugh, I have the worst taste in my mouth.
Boyfriend: That’s ’cause you’re a whore.
Girlfriend: … I don’t get it.
Boyfriend: Your mouth tastes bad ’cause you suck too much cock.
Girlfriend: Oh my god! You’re such an asshole!
Boyfriend: I love you, baby.

–Shea Stadium

Overheard by: sweetpea

Woman: Come here, sweetheart! You lousy fucking Puerto Rican scum!

–4th & MacDougal

Construction worker to another: Come here, I’ll buy you some food ’cause you’re my man. What, you want Puerto Rican food? They’ve got Puerto Rican food here.

–Burger King, 46th St, between 5th & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster

Suit: Have you ever been to Croatia? They treated me like a god just for being Puerto Rican.

–M31 bus, between Madison & Lex

Dude: Nawww, don’t go to Puerto Rico. It’s just like New Jersey!

–Outside Caliente Cab Co.

Barfly: It was a term of endearment.

Bouncer: A term of endearment is not punching someone in the face.

--2x4, 2nd Ave & 4th St

Overheard by: Cait O'Connor (and Foley)

Headline by: Dave Barnette

Runners-Up:

· "And Assault Isn't A Spice, Either" - Kathy

· "Aww, you just feel left out." - Alaine

· "He Said He Wanted Another Hit" - Playtah

· "He's playing hard to get" - Jeri Rosenblum

· "C'mon, it's not like she was pregnant..." - laura c

· "It doesn't count if you don't leave a mark." - Scott

· "Welcome to New York" - shorty

· "Another dropout from the school of hard knocks" - jm

· "Barflies Mate Every 48 Hours" - red

· "No, That's a Term of Three To Ten" - Boyhowdy

· "Dad has a lot of explaining to do" - Mr. Uncreative

· "For endearment, you tend to go for the groin" - ruth

· "Tyler Durden: The Final Years" - Mr. Nobody

· "Punchline" - Robert Katz

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Chinese guy: What are you, Brazilian? Argentinian? I can’t quite place my finger on it.
Indian girl: No, I’m Indian.
Chinese guy: Ooh. You’re my little tandoori chicken. Where’s your dot?

–KGB Bar, E. 4th Street