Chinese guy: What are you, Brazilian? Argentinian? I can’t quite place my finger on it.
Indian girl: No, I’m Indian.
Chinese guy: Ooh. You’re my little tandoori chicken. Where’s your dot?
–KGB Bar, E. 4th Street
Chinese guy: What are you, Brazilian? Argentinian? I can’t quite place my finger on it.
Indian girl: No, I’m Indian.
Chinese guy: Ooh. You’re my little tandoori chicken. Where’s your dot?
–KGB Bar, E. 4th Street
Indian chick: So I was watching VH1 and it was a show about child stars. You know, Drew Barrymore, Jodie Foster–
Asian chick: What? Jodie Foster was a child star?
Indian chick: Yeah. She was a child prostitute at like, 13, and they made a movie about it and everything.
Indian chick: Lookit that chart. They’re ranking condoms, see? Trojan Magnum, then Regular Trojans, then Trojan Ultra Sheer, then Durex Regular, then Lifestyles, and then Lifestyle Ultra-Sensitive, see?
Asian chick: Mmm. Trojan Ultra Sheers, yeah.
Indian chick: But Durex has at least one more that should go in there! Durex has a Magnum too and it’s really good.
Asian chick: So yeah, what’s their deal?
Indian chick: Like, it’ all about how well they endure. Not how much pleasure they give. Fucking government chart.
Indian chick: Anyway. I’m definitely thinkin’ about havin’ my kids in a foreign country. Like, dual citizenship. Just take a semester off, fly to Britain for a month, and voila.
Asian chick: That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. What for?
Indian chick: They just come out cooler, that’s all.
–Chelsea Health Center, 9th Avenue
Overheard by: capn midnite
Indian girl to boyfriend: Can you believe she did that? I was just like “what the fuck?”
Boyfriend, obviously not paying attention: Mhhmm. You're right.
Indian girl, angrily: Stop thinking about my mother's breasts!
–Kimmel Student Centre, NYU
Overheard by: I know I would
Hip Indian chick #1: We should totally go to Raj's party tomorrow night.
Hip Indian chick #2: Oh my god, we totally should! Except it's in Brooklyn. Like, how would we even get there? Are there like, bridges or something?
Hip Indian chick #1: You're kidding, right?
Hip Indian chick #2, laughing: Wow! I am so one of those people who are like total geniuses but always forget like, really basic stuff.
Hip Indian chick #1: Umm, yeah. Totally.
–M14D Bus
Overheard by: Cody
Little white boy: Will someone tell him that the Indians were playing the Yankees the other day!!?
Little Indian boy: Will someone tell him that Indians don’t play baseball? I should know, I’m Indian!
–2 train
Crying screaming Indian girl: I am so sick of this! I do so much for you, you mean everything to me and I am so sick of this! I was there for you! Nothing mattered to you!
Asian ex-boyfriend: Ummm…
Indian girl: And I am so tired of you choosing them over me. Always choosing the Asian girls over me! It never matters, because you always choose the Asians!
–NYU Silver Center
Loud Indian woman: Noodles are coming, right?
Waiter: You didn't order noodles.
Loud Indian woman: Oh.
Waiter: Do you want noodles?
Loud Indian woman: No.
–Indonesian Restaurant
Overheard by: Miss Carrie
Random lady to pregnant Indian woman: It's a girl… Girls make your ass look huge.
Pregnant Indian woman: Oh… But, it's a boy, I just went to doctor.
Random lady: Did your doctor see your huge ass?
–Cortelyou Rd, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Taylor
Indian Girl: Oh my God! Our kids are going to be mad cute!
Asian Guy: Hell yeah! No doubt about it, with my looks and your height.
Indian Girl: Oh, and plus my body.
–Union Square
American-born Indian guy with cream colored bell bottoms tucked in a paisley shirt: There's something about fob-y girls from Asia that is so sexy–they wear stockings.
Filipino American girls #1 and #2: Uhh, what?
American-born Indian guy: Yeah! There are studies that have been done on it, like by Duke University. It's like 20 pages long. Look it up.
–Prince & Elizabeth
Overheard by: based on what you're wearing, ONLY girls wearing stockings would find YOU sexy
