Foreplay Don’ts

Girl: You want a lap dance?
Guy: Huh? Sure, where?
Girl: How about your place?…I’ll give you one for two hundred bucks.
Guy: What? Are you crazy?
Girl: Okay, 50. I’m really a nice girl…I’m just having a hard time paying my bills.
Guy: No, thanks!
Girl: Okay…What would you want for 50 bucks?
Guy: Can I fuck you in the ass?
Girl: What? You’re sick.
Guy: Go home, get some sleep…and go look for a job in the morning.

–Cassidy’s Ale House, Flushing

Overheard by: Stephan

Hobo: You should put your legs together.
Girl: What did you say to me?
Hobo: Close your legs.
Girl: I’m a big girl, they’re as closed as they’re gonna get. It’s called “fat”.
Hobo: I guess you want to air out.
Girl: I guess you want a whiff.

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: Djuna

Drunk fratboy: Damn, you got a sexy walk, girl!…Hey, can I buy you a drink?
Girl: No, thanks anyway.
Drunk fratboy: OK…so, uh…how about I just fuck you in the ass, then?

–Washington Square Park

Posted on April 5, 2025
Backdoor, Bars & Clubs, Body Parts, Bryant Park, Diet/Weight, Drunks, Etiquette, Frat Boys, Hobos, Money & Class, Pick-up Lines, Prostitution, Strangers, Washington Square Park

Yes, I’m Sure There’s a Duane Reade Around There

Woman #1: Excuse me, is this the right way to Canal Street?
Woman #2: Yeah, keep walking north, you can’t miss it.
Woman #3: It’s about 4, 5 blocks.
Woman #1: Oh, OK…is that where you can get the stuff?

–Church & Thomas

Overheard by: Becka

Posted on February 7, 2025
Directions, Strangers, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

“Yes, the scar is contingent on Middle East conflict.”

Woman: How did you get that big scar on your face?
Man: The war in Iraq.
Woman: That’s still going on?

–42nd & Lexington

Overheard by: Jonathan

Posted on November 26, 2024
Body Parts, Iraq, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Strangers, Stupidity, Time, War

America: The Space Between NY and LA

Girl: I grew up in Sioux City, Iowa.
Guy: Oh, I’ve never been to Iowa…but I’ve been to Idaho.

–Williamsburg party

Overheard by: James G

Posted on October 10, 2023
Strangers, U.S. Geography, Williamsburg

…Though, Personally, I Prefer Darker Meat.

Older Hispanic gay man to guy in Subway sandwich costume: Uh sandwich, be careful someone doesn't eat you, darling.
Passers-by: (laugh)
Older Hispanic gay man: Whaaat? That's what you do to a saaandwich.

–9th & 2nd

Overheard by: eat me

Posted on July 16, 2023
Advice, Clerks, Food, Latinos, Laughter, Old People, Queer guys, Strangers, Union Square and East Village

You’re Not Getting Any Warmer, Dude

Drunk guy: Where are you from, man?
Random guy: Arizona.
Drunk guy: Arizona… Arizona, Nevada?
Random guy: No… Arizona, Arizona.
Drunk guy: Oh, but… Nevada is a section of Arizona right?
Random guy: No. Nevada is Nevada.
Drunk guy: I’ve been to Wisconsin.

–E Train

Overheard by: Noble Robinette

Posted on May 14, 2023
Compare/Contrast, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Guys, Names, On the Subway, Questions, Southerners, Strangers, Stupidity, U.S. Geography

Not with That Haircut, You’re Not

Hefty guy: Excuse me, I really need to go to the bathroom. Can I go in front of you?
Woman in front of him in line: I’m in a rush, too.
Hefty guy, to no one: Can you believe this city? Everyone is in a rush. Everyone is rude. I just need to go to the bathroom… No one will ever help you out.
Woman in front of him: Sir, you are the one that is being rude.
Hefty guy, yelling: I am not a sir, I am a ma’am! [Silence ensues.]

–CVS, 64th & 2nd

Overheard by: Shannon

Posted on May 7, 2023
Gripes, Store, Strangers

Will This Suffice?

Woman, seeing Richard Simmons: Oh my god!
Richard Simmons, turning around: Oh my god!! I love you so much!
Woman, walking away: If I had a Twitter account I would so tweet that shit.

–City Hall

Overheard by: Commander Xander