(waiting in line)
Four-year-old kid: Mommy, I really want a lollipop!
Mom: Uhuh, move up here honey.
Kid: Mom! Just give in, I want a lollipop, okay?
(mother ignores him)
Kid: Just give in, it’s okay, I want one. It’s okay to give in, mom.
(pause)
Kid: Mom, this isn’t going to work for me! I want a lollipop!
Random guy in line: Resist!
–Associated Supermarkets, Bleecker & LaGuardia
Overheard by: CaitlinisNewHere
White guy: I feel like I’m taller than everyone.
Indian girl: That’s because you are. Freak!
–Canal & Centre
Jamaican guy holding full length mirror: One dollar to look at yourself in the mirror! One dollar! I am the first to come up with this idea! Don’t steal it, or I’ll sue you… [He’s ignored.] Okay, first time is free! C’mon, first time free! Or gimme a quarter!
Laughing kid: Yo, what are you smoking, man?
Jamaican guy: I smoke blood! I don’t drink blood, I smoke blood!
Unrelated Jamaican girl: Why you so loud? Shut up already.
Jamaican guy: I’m sorry, ma. You’re so beautiful. I look at you, I just can’t believe how beautiful you are. How ’bout you gimme one dollar, look in the mirror?
–6 train
Overheard by: Sam McDermott
Awkward French Casanova: Excuse me?
Chick in huge sunglasses: What?
Awkward French Casanova: Your necklace — it is a bat?
Chick in huge sunglasses: Yeah.
Awkward French Casanova: You like bats?
Chick in huge sunglasses: Yeah.
Awkward French Casanova: And your sunglasses — are they heavy?
Chick in huge sunglasses: Nope.
Awkward French Casanova: Ah. And I see you–
Chick’s friend, interrupting: –Will you shut the fuck up?!
–1 train
Overheard by: freedom fries?
Drunk guy in full New Year regalia: Well, I'm from fuckin' Pennsylvania and I never seen anything like this! This shit is fantastic! Woo!
Irritated sober woman: Really? No one on this train had any idea you weren't from New York!
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Stripper: Hey, baby! You got a cigarette?
Gentleman customer: No, baby. I’m Jamaican — I only smoke the herb.
–Scores, East Side
Man selling kitchen knives: Would you like to buy some knives?
Lady: That’s a really stupid thing you’re doing — walking around on a moving train with knives. It’s dangerous!
Man selling kitchen knives: Well, maybe you’re a fucking bitch!
–C train
Hispanic guy: Can you believe they shut down the train station ’cause one guy got sick.
Old black guy: Fuckin’ selfish-ass people, man. Selfish.
Young woman: He was having a seizure.
Old black guy: Well, I would’ve dragged him out or something.
White guy: I can’t believe this is happening to me on my first day out of jail.
–116th & Broadway bus stop
Overheard by: Kendall
Dude on motorcycle handing rose to girl: A beautiful rose for a beautiful lady.
Girl: Ew.
–W 4th St
Thin preppy girl to heavier stranger: Oh my god! I love your shoes.
Heavier stranger, looking her over: Girl, I wish I could give you a compliment, but you just look hungry.
–95th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Adriana
