…And Potentially Fuck You?

Skater: Come on. Hang out.
Murray Hill-looking PR-type chick: Fuck you! You're a fag! You'd rather hang with your loser friends in this fucking rat hole? I would have fucked you, if you just came to Manhattan but…
Skater: C'mon hang. It'll be cool.
Murray Hill-looking PR-type chick: Oh, fuck this. I'm taking this cab. Have fun sucking your buddy's cock, asshole!
Skater, after watching her leave: Fucking bitch! (pauses, then asks perfect stranger) Hey, can I buy a cigarette from you?

–12th St & Bedford

Posted on November 19, 2022
BJs, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Friendship, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Insults, Penis, Sex, Skaters, Smoking, Strangers

Wednesday One-Liners Have a Big Endowment

Girl: We can't become gay just to fit in at this school!

–NYU

Passer-by: I pay $40k a year for school, and that makes me better than you.

–NYU, Tisch

Overheard by: Dan Lurie

NYU girl at party: My parents are actually really into civil liberties.

–NYU Dorm

NYU chick to friend: I love coke! (passing white lady gives her a strange look) I meant the drink, not the drug, lady! Jeez, I'm a minority student at fucking NYU! You think I can afford a coke habit??

–8th & University

Overheard by: Melissa Perez

Gay NYU student, rolling around on the ground in student lounge: I am obsessed with the ground. I mean, who's going to judge me? There's like six million Asians here and none of them are gay.

–Tisch Hall, NYU

Mother, pushing crying two-year-old in stroller: They're never going to accept you here if you keep screaming!

–NYU Admissions

Overheard by: Sam

Posted on November 3, 2022
All Wednesday One-Liners, Cocaine, Crying, Drinks, Education, Family Ties, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Kids, Moms, Money & Class, NYU, One-liners, Queer guys, Questions, Race, School and studying, Should've Used a Condom, Strangers, Students, Stupidity, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

To Be Fair, Billie Joe Armstrong Looks Like Someone Who'd Be Carrying a Machine Gun or a Bomb

Man with bottle of booze in paper bag: Is that a machine gun or a bomb?
Boy with guitar: No, I'm just carrying my guitar.

–Train to Penn Station

Overheard by: Marcy

Posted on October 20, 2022
Boys, Instruments, Men, Penn Station, Questions, Strangers, Trains Not Subway, Weapons, Weirdness

Dude, You'd Steal the One-Liners Off a Wednesday

One-armed cracked-out dude to equally cracked-out girlfriend: And he's lookin' at me like he ain't never seen nobody stealin' before!

–Maria Hernandez Park, Bushwick

Overheard by: matthias

Drunk man to random girl on street: I mean, I stole this girls' shoelaces, and then she got really mad at me…

–2nd Ave & 4th St

Comedy show peddler: Who wants to buy some stolen shit? (pause) Nah, just kidding, who wants to see a comedy show?

–Times Square

Overheard by: Ali

Woman with pink hair to friend: Fuck that bitch, she still stole my clothes when I was in jail.

–6 Train

Overheard by: Renny

Man to woman, about his father: Yeah, he was so great, so smart… A drug addict. He was always there for me. Like, if I needed something, anything, he'd go steal it for me. That's what sticks with you, you know?

–1 Train

Overheard by: RDM

Posted on October 17, 2022
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Brooklyn, Clothing, Couples, Drugs, Drunks, Friends, Insults, Men, Offers and requests, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Prison, Shoes, Strangers, Street, Theater & Dance, Thievery, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Vendors & Street Performers, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Tonight's Movie: Charlie and the Chocolate Martini

Girl on cell: Dude, drunk chocolate is the best!
Random man passing by: Yes, it is.

–Union Square

Posted on September 14, 2022
Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Food, Girls, On Cell, Strangers, Union Square and East Village

Is It Ever Wise to Talk About Bombs in a Stadium Parking Lot?

Yankees fan to stranger: Yo, you want a Jägerbomb?
Stranger: Obviously!

–Citi Field Parking Lot

Overheard by: Adam

Posted on July 24, 2022
Brooklyn, Drinking & Drunk People, Offers and requests, Strangers

A Typical Saturday Night for David Hasselhoff

Angry drunk yelling at man: Fuck you! Fuck your mother! I hope you die, you piece of shit!
Angry drunk's girlfriend: Will you just calm down?
Angry drunk: No, fuck that! I hope he dies! I hope his mother dies! I'll fucking go back in time and terminate his mother!
Brave stranger: (laughs)
Angry drunk: What the fuck are you laughing at motherfucker?
Brave stranger: Going back in time and terminating his mother.
Angry drunk: Well, okay, that is funny… I like that movie too. (pause) Fuck him, I hope he dies!

–Q Train

Posted on July 18, 2022
Anger Management, Couples, Death, Drunks, Insults, Laughter, Movies, On the Subway, Parents, Strangers, Wishes & desires

Miss Piggy: Don't Make Moi Come Over There

Production assistant: Excuse me sir, no flash photography please. For the safety of our actors.
Bystander: Actors? They're Muppets!

–Muppets Movie Set, Park Slope

Posted on July 13, 2022
9 to 5-ers, Film, Park Slope, Pictures, Strangers

Like Anyone Hears Anything Said on a Cell Phone

Jogging hoochie on cell: Yeah, I just touched down in Boston. No, I’m still in the airport waiting for my bag.
Black guy: Don’t believe her! She’s in Atlantic City!

–Central Park

Overheard by: MaliceAlice

Posted on July 3, 2022
Central Park, Hootchies, Lies, Strangers

You’re Still Only As Safe As Your Lover, Sweetie

Well-meaning volunteer: Help yourself, free condoms from the department of public health.
Hugely pregnant passerby: Too late.

–Grand Central Terminal

Overheard by: Katie

Posted on June 18, 2022
Activists, Advice, Comebacks, Compare/Contrast, Condoms, Default, Grand Central, Offers and requests, Preggers, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Strangers, Train Station

Strangers