Man with bottle of booze in paper bag: Is that a machine gun or a bomb?
Boy with guitar: No, I'm just carrying my guitar.
–Train to Penn Station
Overheard by: Marcy
Man with bottle of booze in paper bag: Is that a machine gun or a bomb?
Boy with guitar: No, I'm just carrying my guitar.
–Train to Penn Station
Overheard by: Marcy
Four-year-old girl to sister: You're hitting me with your violin case!
Upper West Side mom: Anne, sometimes you have to endure a little bit of pain on the subway.
–1 Train
Dude: Hey, good to see you, what’s new?
Goth tranny: Oh, not much. In a new band, we’re looking for a bassist, we have a show on Saturday, my apartment sucks, Joe quit, been trying to lose weight, I need a haircut, it’s my birthday next week, and I’ve been playing World of Warcraft. What about you?
–Halloween Adventure, 11th & 4th Ave
Overheard by: Kate Melvin
Guy on cell: Guitars… guitarists, guitarists… drummers, yeah, any musicians… Girls, yeah! Girls!
–Prospect Heights
Suave European guy: I am playing the piano and the flute. At the same time. It’s a metaphor.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Librarianish-looking woman: He asked me if I wanted to blow his tuba, and I said, "sure!". It was amazingly harder than I thought it would be. And, he’s bringing his organ tomorrow so I can play with it.
–Battery Park Starbucks
30-something woman: My consultant was telling me I should try not to sound elitist. But that’s really hard for me. I mean, I have two master’s degrees and I play the violin.
–14th St & 1st Ave
Bodybuilder on cell: I’m thinking a harpsichord, a wig, and a whole lotta talcum powder.
–Chinatown Bus
Blonde high school girl: Grinding is as practical as playing the harpsichord was for Jane Austen.
–Upper East Side
Girl on cell, defiantly: Listen, I can keep my midget in your closet whenever I damn please!
–72nd & Columbus
Man handing out cards to random passers-by: They have midget strippers, buddy, and you can bring your guitar!
–42nd & 7th
Overheard by: Katy
Guy, to friend: You can't call yourself a grown man if you sit down and your feet dangle off the chair.
–Victoria's Secret
Overheard by: Emm
Black guy pushing cart: Man, I miss my two-headed midget friend… He was my best man.
–Union Square
Woman on cell: Have I been an angry little munchkin?
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: TheMac
Angry man on cell: He was a porn star, not a pianist.
–Outside Fairway, 72nd St
Goth chick on cell: We're inside. Yeah, she's playing "Creep" on a ukulele. No, I'm serious!
–Spiegelworld
Art student: I did some acid and they made me play with a guitar, but it felt like plastic and it sounded like cheese!
–Pratt Institute
Tall drummer girl: This is why I love you guys. When the drumline goes on break, they're like, "let's play some more!" When you guys go on break, you're like, "let's explore each others' bodies!"
–Pathmark
Overheard by: Another band geek
30-something African American woman: Mmm-hmm. He playin' her ass like a violin!
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: KTizzle
Woman upon seeing a Mariachi band walk by: Why do they have tambourines on their legs?
— Manhattan
Teenage boy: You know, if you think about it, violins are basically just giant condoms.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Older man on cell walking two giant dogs: She has a great body… When she sits, it's like a German violinist.
–Thompson Square Park
Mother to young daughter: Even if she was tired and cranky, she still shouldn't have hit you on the shoulder with a violin.
–Ave A & 6th St
Woman on cell: Let's go see the one about the transsexual violinists. (pause, yelling louder) Violinists! The transsexual violin players. Violin! (pause) You didn't say "violin"? Just transsexuals? (pause) Did you say "violence"? (pause) No? (pause) I'm not hungover!
–J Train
Old man to kid with musical instrument case: Gotta big case there.
Kid: Yep, I need it for school.
Old man: Is that a shotgun?
–6 Train
Overheard by: Knively
Two-year-old boy: I see a saxophone! He's singing a saxophone!
Father: You don't sing a saxophone, you play a saxophone.
Two-year-old boy: That's not true!
–66th St
Overheard by: crazy cute.
