Dad to sullen goth son: Are you okay?
Goth: I will be…someday.
–Midtown
Dad to sullen goth son: Are you okay?
Goth: I will be…someday.
–Midtown
Hipster girl: Look, just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you have to dress like a fifth grader.
–Union Pool, Brooklyn
Vain fag, looking at pants: I really love these shorts, I hope they’re *in* this summer…
–LIRR
Guy wearing bright green leather clogs: No, I’d never wear crocs. They’re ugly.
–Forest Hills Gardens, Queens
Overheard by: Aloof Loner
Goth girl: Let’s buy fur coats and throw paint on ourselves.
–Bloomingdale’s
Disembodied voice: Yo, these are mom jeans. I hate that shit! The waist goes all the way up to your stomach and then it makes a little V-neck pouch for your vagina. I hate that shit!
–Fitting Rooms, Gap in Herald Square
Overheard by: Zarya
[Waiting in line for the washroom.]Lady, bawling her eyes out: Sorry, I ordered this jacket, and it’s two sizes too big!
–Macy’s
Overheard by: Tracy
Emaciated goth/punk guy: Hey, do you know where a CVS is?
Passerby suit: I don't know what that is…
Passerby preppy girl: Are you looking for a CVS?
Emaciated goth/punk guy: Yes!
Preppy girl: Well, there's a Duane Reade right there, it's like, the same thing.
Emaciated goth/punk guy, matter-of-factly: I know, it's just impossible to steal from Duane Reade.
Preppy girl: Oh.
Emaciated goth/punk guy: I'm really poor.
Preppy girl: Okay.
Emaciated goth/punk guy, cheerful: Thanks anyway!
Preppy girl, also cheerful: You're welcome!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Hannah
Dude: Hey, good to see you, what’s new?
Goth tranny: Oh, not much. In a new band, we’re looking for a bassist, we have a show on Saturday, my apartment sucks, Joe quit, been trying to lose weight, I need a haircut, it’s my birthday next week, and I’ve been playing World of Warcraft. What about you?
–Halloween Adventure, 11th & 4th Ave
Overheard by: Kate Melvin
Gothic underage-looking stripper: Oh my god we have been looking everywhere for stripper shoes!
More underage-looking gothic stripper: Maybe this is God’s way of telling us not to be strippers.
–Macdougal & Bleecker
Overheard by: Zubin
Ghetto goth girl putting black eyeliner on lips: Do you know what he said?
Friend in stall: What?
Ghetto goth girl: He said I was aggressive. I can’t help if I’m aggressive ’cause I’m half-vampire, half-werewolf.
–Pyramid club, Ave A, between 6th & 7th St
Overheard by: not a goth
Little girl with cotton candy to lonely goth girl sitting on a curb: Look! I have cotton candy! See? (shoves it in her face)
Goth girl: Oh…good?
Mother: Ha, ha! Like you care!
–St. Mark's Place
Goth girl #1: I hate girls with mustaches.
Goth girl #2: Yeah, me, too.
Goth girl #1: … Actually, I have a mustache.
Goth girl #2: Yeah, me, too.
–1 train
Overheard by: Tim
Angry man on cell: He was a porn star, not a pianist.
–Outside Fairway, 72nd St
Goth chick on cell: We're inside. Yeah, she's playing "Creep" on a ukulele. No, I'm serious!
–Spiegelworld
Art student: I did some acid and they made me play with a guitar, but it felt like plastic and it sounded like cheese!
–Pratt Institute
Tall drummer girl: This is why I love you guys. When the drumline goes on break, they're like, "let's play some more!" When you guys go on break, you're like, "let's explore each others' bodies!"
–Pathmark
Overheard by: Another band geek
30-something African American woman: Mmm-hmm. He playin' her ass like a violin!
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: KTizzle
Hipster turned emo #1: So, I was thinking that I should just dye my hair black, wear a lot of dark eyeliner, and talk about how much my mom hates me.
Hipster turned emo #2: I think that's a great idea, but you also need to stop representing yourself as a happy individual, and make sure that the black eyeliner has that smudgy look.
Goth fat kid with way too many piercings: Shut the fuck up already. You're wasting my oxygen.
–Union Square
