One Liners from the Legitimate Wednesday

Student, about her play: I want the audience to enter through the vagina before they sit down.

–NYU

Guy to younger girl, at intermission of Spring Awakening, right after sex scene: So you had to choose this? We couldn’t have gone to see The Little Mermaid?

–Eugene O’Neill Theatre

College student: …exactly how you’d expect a college rendition of The Vagina Monologues to go.

–NYU

Black guy on cell: It doesn’t mean I’m gay because I’m going to see a play. (pause) It’s for a class… There’s nothing wrong with wanting to see a play.

–Union Square

Overheard by: erkala

20‐something guy to friend: Picture it; Fishsticks: the musicical!

–63^rd St & Broadway

Posted on February 8, 2023
All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Compare/Contrast, Disney, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, NYU, On Cell, One-liners, Questions, School and studying, Sexuality, Students, Theater, Theater & Dance, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Not in the Face, Wednesday One‐Liners

Girl on cell: You keep talking over me – it makes me want to punch you in the uterus.

–Ray’s Pizza, 52 & 8^th

Overheard by: Jarett

Guy to friend: You keep referring to me as “that guy” and we’ll see how long you stay conscious.

–33^rd & 7^th

Nervous man seated against the wall: I don’t like this seat. I don’t like sitting here. I like to sit on the aisle. What if there’s a fight? I don’t want to be trapped in a place with a fight.

–Off‐Broadway Theatre

Overheard by: Hannah

Ghetto chick: Can’t you get somebody else to fuck him up? Why you gotta do it?

–W Train

Overheard by: sara n.

Man: He was trying to turn his alcoholism into a positive thing instead of attacking the guy who raped his sister.

–The Strand Bookstore

Overheard by: Slightly confused, yet intrigued…

Girl on cell: Remember that time you got into a fight with an inch worm?

–Chambers St

Overheard by: Shooty

Posted on September 22, 2022
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Drinking & Drunk People, Family Ties, Fighting and ass kicking, Friends, Ghetto Chicks, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Insects, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Punch, Questions, Rape, Sex, Store, Street, Theater, Threats, Violence, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Words

Wednesday One‐Liners Like to Watch

Girl on phone: This is so crazy because I was just watching Gossip Girl and I was like: “Oh my god, no one has dinner at Butter!” But then you just called me and invited me to dinner at Butter! It’s totally out of control.

–Barnard College

Man: The Tudors is like Law & Order for British actors. If you can’t get a job anywhere else, there’s always that.

–Cort Theater

Overheard by: office peon

Young man to friend: It’s called Tudor Place. Hey, you know that show on showtime, The Tudors? Maybe it’s that family and they moved over here. Because the buildings do look old.

–Bryant Park

Hipster: I watched Lost one time. I watched Lost one time! A big monsoon was coming and some dude closed a door on it. Closed a door on the monsoon! I was like: “Fuck this, I’m done.”

–Outside an Irish Pub, 54^th St & 7^th Ave

Overheard by: jon

Soccer mom: Charles in Charge was a consistently good show.

–51^st St & 8^th Ave

Posted on September 11, 2022
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Bryant Park, Columbia (& Barnard), Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Friends, Girls, Hipsters, Jobs & Careers, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Names, On Cell, Stupidity, Theater, TV, Weather, Words

To Bang or Not to Bang? That Is the Question.

Woman #1, after play ends: I didn’t know Hamlet died at the end. I was so surprised!
Woman #2: Jude Law was still hot, though.

–Broadhurst Theater, 44^th St & Broadway

Posted on August 6, 2022
About Celebrities, Death, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Theater, Theater & Dance, Women

She Had a Featured Solo in Backside Story

Man, during intermission of Chicago: Did you see the chorus girl with the long auburn hair?
Woman: Yeah?
Man: I’m pretty sure I’ve seen her in porn on the internet.
Woman, annoyed: Well, when we get home maybe you can find out for sure.
Man: I’m not saying she can’t sing!

–Ambassador Theatre, W 49^th

Overheard by: Big Larry

Posted on August 3, 2022
Actors, Arts & Letters, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Porn, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Theater, Theater & Dance, Tourist Attractions

So Let’s Go to the Supermarket and Kill Two Birds with One Stone

Little girl: Mom, can we go in the supermarket? I want honeycombs.
Mom: No.
Little girl: Mom!
Mom: Girl! You make wanna have a cigarette.

–Outside Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre

Overheard by: Glenn T

Posted on July 25, 2022
Kids, Moms, Parents, Smoking, Theater, Wishes & desires

They Shoot Ponies, Don’t They?

Guy: You kicked me like a pony in the neck! Now I’m going to be slow for my entire life. You kicked me in the cerebellum!
Chick: That’s not where your cerebellum is.

–Eugene O’Neill Theater

Overheard by: Nicole Thompson

Posted on July 1, 2022
Body Parts, Fighting and ass kicking, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Idiots, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Theater

It Raised the Nation’s Spirits After Iran‐Contra

12‐year‐old girl: Did you hear what I said about really famous people?
Uninterested mother: No.
12‐year‐old girl: Well, this will be my first time seeing a really famous person, not just a famous person. Because Full House was important to everyone!

–Mills Theater, before Performance of Bye Bye Birdie