Girl: Look, Rocafella Plaza is right there!
Guy: Where? I don’t see shit.
Girl: I hope you can see if you step in it
Guy: Actually I smell shit right now, do you smell that shit?
Girl: Yeah I do, but I bet you can’t see it.
–49th & 5th
Overheard by: Christine Rinaldi
Old lady #1: What are you eating? It smells good.
Old lady #2: Nicorette.
–DR2 theater, E. 15th Street
Chick: Wal-Mart smells like they’re cooking babies.
–University Hall, E. 14th Street
Guy at urinal: Yo, Marcus, that was you in there?
Guy at sink: Hey. Yeah.
Guy at urinal: Jesus Christ.
Guy at sink: What’s that supposed to mean?
Guy at urinal: Well, it don’t smell like flowers.
–Puck Fair men’s room, Lafayette Street
Overheard by: Bill Shunn
Bicycle girl: It smells like it’s about to rain.
Bicycle guy: That’s because it is raining.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Captain Obvious
Guy on cell: Dude, I can’t give you a bottle. And he don’t got none, either…dude, I don’t mean no offense, but you know you’re a junkie type, right?…yeah, I hear ya…Fine. Maybe for $20 I can find you something.
–86th between Lexington & 3rd
Lady: So is that why he brought you a Xanax and a sandwich?
–Ludlow & Delancey
Overheard by: Michi Hollydale
Businesslady: I was a meth addict. You know, methadone. I didn’t inject it, though.
–Starbucks, 35th & 8th
Overheard by: wit and whimsy
Girl on cell: So like I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I told my parents that I was on drugs…which, of course, nothing could be further from the truth…yeah, I can blame them for reacting that way!
–77th & Lex
Chick on cell: …I know. He’s so generous with prescriptions. And I keep telling him, “I’m a real pill popper!”
–52nd & Madison
Overheard by: Captain Obvious
Chick: If you can get the perfect balance between alcohol and cocaine, then you’ve really hit your peak.
–15th & 5th
Overheard by: Lucy
Woman: So I had to figure out which was cheaper: the drugs or the rehab.
–Kate’s Joint, Avenue B
Queer: God it’s so gross! Gays in there lifting and just sweating all their drugs out…I just don’t go to the gym on mondays; it smells like chemicals!
–15th & 7th
Girl on cell: Yeah, they all call her Vitamin H, can you believe that?…No, no, it’s alcohol that’s the gateway drug. You only want to do coke after you drink.
–2nd Avenue & 10th Street
Girl #1: What’s wrong with you?
Girl #2: I am pissed at my roommate.
Girl #1: Why this time?
Girl #2: He had the nerve to wear my wig on a date again and when I asked him about it, the asshole lied.
Girl #1: How did you know he wore it?
Girl #2: It smelled like beer, cigarettes, and AnalEase again.
–6 train
Overheard by: Casey McKendrick
Hipster girl: Baby what’s that smell? Is that your feet?
Hipster boy: What? I don’t know, probably.
Hipster girl: Oh my god. The smell, I can’t take it.
Hipster boy: It doesn’t smell as bad as the old cooter did the other night when we were screwing. You didn’t hear me say anything when you shoved my face into that crockpot of bacteria.
–F train
Overheard by: Gracelyn
Queer: As my grandmother used to say, you’ve got one fuckable ass.
–Marie’s Crisis, Grove Street
Overheard by: catherine
Hobo: How you doin’? How you doin’? I’m doin’ good. Yeah, you know I’m doin’ good, cause I’m lookin’ good! And you know why I look good? ’cause I clean mah ass!
–1 train
Overheard by: Alex Valentine
NYU chick: All this work is going to fuck me in the ass so much my boyfriend won’t be able to.
–Silver Building, Waverly Place
Chick: I can’t believe how much he charged me for this disposable camera. I was like, “Why don’t you fuck me up the ass while you’re at it?”
–55th & 3rd
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Black guy: Damn, it smells like open ass around here.
–Canal & Broadway
Overheard by: Daniel
Drunk: Miss, do you think I could sit next to you for a moment, just a moment, and you could smell me and tell me whether I smell like I’ve been drinking?
Girl: No.
Drunk: Why not?
Girl: Because I don’t want to have to smell anyone.
Drunk: Well fuck you too.
–168th Street station
