Scents of the City

Chick: What’s that smell?
Guy: Either someone farted or it’s terrorism.

–42nd & Broadway

Hot girl #1: It’s the guy on the end of the train.
Hot girl #2: Wow. It’s amazing the human body can smell like that and still be alive.

–Coney Island-bound F train

Woman #1: Oooh, I really like the smell of whatever you’re eating or wearing. What is that?
Woman #2: A cough drop.
Woman #1: What kind?
Woman #2: Hall’s.
Woman #1: Oooh, that’s really nice.

–Elevator, McCann Erickson office

Waspy woman #1, walking into J.Crew: It smells like J.Crew!
Waspy woman #2: It smells so good!

–J.Crew, Soho

Hipster girl: I’d rather face the stigma of buying feminine hygiene products than face the stigma of having a stinky hoo-ha.

–13th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: agreed

Girl: Remember Diana? Stinky Diana? She’s back, and she’s getting married.

–West 47th & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Peter G

Chick: If I’m going to play beer pong, I need to be fragrant.

–Sammy’s, 11th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: McF

Little boy to dad: I don’t want to go to Africa! I don’t want to smell the camels!

–5th Ave & Park Pl, Park Slope

Voice on intercom: The Children’s Section is closed due to… that smell.

–NY Public Library, East 96th St

Overheard by: Diane

Chick: So, did you smell your toilet paper?

–MoMA cafe

Overheard by: Sweettart

Thug #1: … And you could smell that shit through her jeans, yo! That shit was nasty!
Thug #2: Bitch needs to be fuckin’ introduced to Mr. Clean or some shit!

–Outside Francis Lewis High, Queens

Guy #1: I can’t tell if I’m smelling your armpit or my fart.
Guy #2: Doesn’t matter. You couldn’t move away from it either way.

–Crowded 1 train

Overheard by: goo goo doll

Suit in sunglasses: This entire platform smells like a hitherto unknown species of ass.

–D train platform, 34th St

Aging hipster on cell: At worst, you emit a general smell. If people notice it, I don’t think they associate it with you.

–Worth St & W Broadway

Loud woman: Yo, where you at? I can smell your breath, but I can’t see your face!

–Shoe store

Drunk chick in room of females: It smells like penis in here.

–Pi2 Lounge, W 12th & Surf Ave

Overheard by: Ioulia Fedorova

Teen on cell: Dude, they kicked me off campus! Because they said I smelled like I was high. I mean, I am a little high, but I don’t smell like it!

–Stuyvesant High

Fat man: Why didn’t anyone call Patty* and tell her that her breath stinks?

–Victory Hospital

Overheard by: Suquaia

Guy, smelling girl’s armpit: Man, that’s brutal! But I kinda like it…


Guy: The train car smelled like a dead rat today, I swear.
Woman: I know. It stays in your nose. It’s like a dead body. When you smell rotting flesh, it stays with you no matter what you do. Same with skunk.

–Office, 35th & 8th

Girl #1, sniffing perfumes: I like the second one better.
Girl #2: Yeah, it’s more real, and it won’t make you feel like you’re seducing him into thinking you’re a cookie.

–Lingerie store, 66th & Broadway