Girl #1: So how was your date with him?
Girl #2: It was fun and everything but it bothers me that he has no smell. Not that he stinks, but he just smells too naturally human.
Girl #1: Oh my god! No cologne? What is he, living in the Stone Age?
–Washington Square park
Overheard by: Ting
Chick #1: Close your mouth, your breath stinks!
Chick #2: No, it doesn’t.
Chick #1: Listen, you open your mouth, people can smell your shit. You should be the first one knowing your breath stinks. The air goes right up to your nose first anyway!
–Church & Murray
Pregnant woman: They really need to make cigarettes illegal. I can smell that woman’s smoke from half a block away. Anything you can smell from half a block away has got to be outlawed. I mean, I’ve never smelled a fart from half a block away!
–Houston & Thompson
Hairstylist: Hey Jo Jo, what’s with that lady with all that body hair?
Jo Jo: She’s an old tree hugger. She never quit living in the 60s. Her kids and husband smell too.
–Hair Salon, Madison & 52nd
Guy: I drink so much coffee, that if my girlfriend gives me a blowjob she can’t sleep all night afterwards.
–Wall St. Starbucks
Black chick: It smells like the bottom of a slave ship in here.
–Sapphire Lounge, LES
Pizza dude: That guy smokes like a camel. Every 5 minutes he’s in there. He uses it as an excuse. And then it smells.
–Hotline Pizza, Bensonhurst
Girl #1: We totally only hired her because she’s British.
Girl #2: Oh, is she the one who smells like babies?
Girl #1: Yeah…
–East Village
Girl #1: My apartment smells like balls.
Girl #2: That’s nothing. I think my neighbor is sniffing my panties in the laundry room.
–28th & Park
Overheard by: Stephanie
Woman: I’ve figured out what’s wrong with him!
Man: What?
Woman: He smells like ear wax.
–Financial District
Overheard by: p
A homeless guy is sleeping
Other dude: You smell like you want to be alone.
–A train
