Some kids were making gun noises.
Dad: Nah, the trick is to use a silencer.

–Amity Diner, UES

Overheard by: Anastasia Dyakovskaya

JHS girl: I’ll be damned if I let a seventh-grader ruin my reputation.

–8th Ave. playground

Sweaty fat man on cell: I would feel stupid if I were in a diabetic coma.

–8th Ave. between 21st & 22nd

Wife: I don’t know what you’ve got to be so sad about. Your boss loves you, the kids love you, I love you, the dog loves you!

–JFK airport bar

Dowager: My god darling! The emotion! I feel naked!

–Jackson Pollock painting, MoMA

Overheard by: Anthony Garmont

Cop: Photos, painting and other stuff in a museum I appreciate, but this is just bedsheets to me.

–The Gates, CPW

Overheard by: Chris Holm

Pizza dude: That guy smokes like a camel. Every 5 minutes he’s in there. He uses it as an excuse. And then it smells.

–Hotline Pizza, Bensonhurst

Woman, 30s: So I go to his apartment last night after our date, and there’s all this Jesus stuff all over. I said, “Tell me this stuff is your roommate’s.” He gives me this shocked look. Turns out he’s born again! I was so pissed; I thought I was gonna get laid…


Overheard by: Ursus Standingbear

Hipster: We don’t need to go to your stupid party. We’ve got smack, man.

–Bedford Ave, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Mike Epstein

Player: Listen man, all I’ve figured out so far is that you have to stay away from the ones with tattoos on their back.

–Washington Square Park

Black guy: …it’s an endangered species! It must be preserved in a museum!

–Westway Diner, 9th Ave.

20-something woman on cell: Did I tell you mom got into a fight with a raccoon again? (pause) Yeah, I know, our mom is totally going to die of rabies.

–Starbucks, West Village

Overheard by: Vaccinated for rabies

Guy to another: Flap your wings baby, just flap your wings!


Woman, shouting at no one in particular: You know I'm unstoppable! I'm like an ox!

–1 Train

Overheard by: Rose Fox

NYU girl: My mother was like, "what would you do with a giant inflatable turkey?" and I was like, "what wouldn't you do with a giant inflatable turkey?"

–3rd Ave & 14th St

Overheard by: Mickey