One-liners

Guy: Where the fuck is this bitch?…Oh, sorry ’bout the language ladies. I wasn’t talking about you, I was talking about my girlfriend.

–54th & 5th

Overheard by: E. Hart

Teen boy: Wow, look, another homeless guy! They’re all over!

–21st & Park

AM New York guy: AM New York! Get your same shit, different fucking day newspaper! AM New York! Same shit! Different fucking day!

–96th & Lexington

Overheard by: Owen JG

Black guy: Man, nigga, you’re really dirty. I mean, you’re a slob, nigga. You’re…you’re a fucking Mexican.

–Union Square

White lady: As a black man, how do you feel about Al Sharpton?…Because I know how I feel about him, but I’m not black.

–Office, Park Avenue

Overheard by: Peasant

Hobo: …Lick Al Sharpton’s balls! Suck out his asshole! You’re Democrats! It’s your job!

–18th & 7th

Overheard by: A & J

Girl: You’ve been going out with him for two months and only now did you realize he has one testicle.

–Spring & West Broadway

Woman on pay phone: They can’t arrest him because he didn’t even expose himself.

–Worth & Centre

Overheard by: Daniel Krieger

AMNew York Guy: Free Spanish newspaper! Assimilation doesn’t mean you have to give up your heritage!

–Park Slope

White girl: That’s terrible! The only thing I want my kids to be that I’m not is half-black.

–Columbia University

Woman: So, yesterday I think I ate dog food again.

–Elevator, 90th & Colombus

Overheard by: Louise XIV