One-liners

Black guy: Man, nigga, you’re really dirty. I mean, you’re a slob, nigga. You’re…you’re a fucking Mexican.

–Union Square

White lady: As a black man, how do you feel about Al Sharpton?…Because I know how I feel about him, but I’m not black.

–Office, Park Avenue

Overheard by: Peasant

Hobo: …Lick Al Sharpton’s balls! Suck out his asshole! You’re Democrats! It’s your job!

–18th & 7th

Overheard by: A & J

Girl: You’ve been going out with him for two months and only now did you realize he has one testicle.

–Spring & West Broadway

Woman on pay phone: They can’t arrest him because he didn’t even expose himself.

–Worth & Centre

Overheard by: Daniel Krieger

AMNew York Guy: Free Spanish newspaper! Assimilation doesn’t mean you have to give up your heritage!

–Park Slope

White girl: That’s terrible! The only thing I want my kids to be that I’m not is half-black.

–Columbia University

Woman: So, yesterday I think I ate dog food again.

–Elevator, 90th & Colombus

Overheard by: Louise XIV

Girl: Shit yo, this campaign is like being skullfucked by a Lego man.

–49th & 7th

Tween boy: I’m gonna fight you, Steve…I’m gonna trash yo’ face, son…you gonna have to go to Jonathan Zizmor, son.

–6 train

Hobo: Come on down, you’re the next contestant on Spare Some Change!…Ooh, that went over well.

–University & 9th

Overheard by: Renee