Lady: Can I get a large chicken noodle soup? Without the chicken.
–Six Happiness, 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: nisey
Lady: Can I get a large chicken noodle soup? Without the chicken.
–Six Happiness, 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: nisey
Drunk girl: Now that I’ve peed, I don’t really feel hungry anymore.
–Spring & Lafayette
Girl: …So I asked him, “Do you speak German?” and he was like, “The only German I speak is: men to the left, women and children to the
right.” And I said, “Dude, you’ve been watching too much Schindler’s List!”
–13th Street between 6th & 7th
Overheard by: Joe Quint
Crazy guy: Ma’am, say, who’s your favorite James Bond? Hello? Is anyone listening to me? I said, who is your favorite James Bond? Oh fuck this! I’ll just mark it down as another George Lazenby. Fuck.
–Port Authority
Girl: Well, one of my relatives on my grandmother’s side was one of Blackbeard’s First Mates…So, I have some pirate in me.
–56th & Park
Chick: If you don’t want to look like a lesbian at the party, make sure you stay a little drunk the whole time.
–57th & 5th
Overheard by: Annie
Suit on cell: Hello Dick, this is Woody.
–Four Seasons, E. 57th Street
Woman on cell: Little did I know you can’t keep charging if you never pay the bill.
–Union Square West
Overheard by: Maggie and David
Hobo: What the fuck? Why’s the train so crowded? Used ta be between 9 and 5 the train’d be empty. Don’t anybody fucking have a job anymore?
–N train
Hobo: I had to go all over the goddamn world. Canarsie! Staten Island! Jersey City! Timbuktu!
–65th between 2nd & 3rd
Crazy hobo: I have closed my windows. I have pulled my curtains. I have put up my air conditioner…and now you will lock down block 340 like you will lock down every other block in the city of New York, the state of New York, the state of New Jersey, and to some extent Connecticut, but not all of Connecticut.
–4th Street & 2nd Avenue
Overheard by: Squatporpoise
Drunk hobo: I have a lottery ticket. My father played the lottery every week. Must’ve had about a hundred fucking tickets. What if I find out I won and I’m on the subway? No one’s getting away. I’m taking down everyone’s number. We’re going to dinner. Your family too. No cousins.
–N train
Drunk hobo with megaphone: Don’t ride the trains! Those a-rabs are going to blow this thing up! It’s gonna be bloody! Those a-rabs and the black men from north Africa!
–A train
Old hobo: …and there’s a girl in the well. And he got a dog! You seen dat shit?
–34th & 7th
Overheard by: K-Na
Hobo: I ain’t got no money, but I got the honey, just for the women, not the men. And I ain’t no one minute man, ain’t no three minute man. I’m a one-hour man!
–4 train
Overheard by: eb
Girl on cell: I can barely hear you. It’s like your phone is on mute, only not quite.
–Astoria
Suit on cell: I don’t know! I don’t know! All I’m saying is, you better get a lawyer and it sure as hell isn’t going to be me!
–14th & Broadway
Punk dude on cell: Fuck you, fuck you!…call me when you are high or nice, until then fuck you!
–Dunkin’ Donuts, 42nd & Vanderbilt
Girl on cell phone: Like, I’m the one who invited Fran Tarkenton over in the first place!
–53rd & 8th
Overheard by: Tyler Bryce
Indian chick on cell: You’re like the diamond in a haystack I’ve been looking for!
–23rd & 3rd
