Husband: Sex with you is great, but it’s no substitute for pepperoni!
–Stop & Shop supermarket, Ridgewood
Overheard by: Dawn
Husband: Sex with you is great, but it’s no substitute for pepperoni!
–Stop & Shop supermarket, Ridgewood
Overheard by: Dawn
Queer: My sister is so concerned about her son playing with dolls because it will turn him gay. I’m like, “It’s not because I was playing with dolls that I was gay, it was that I looked at a guy and got a hardon!”.
–Japonica, University Place
Overheard by: Rick T
Patron: They know what I am: drunk, gay, and in search of food!…This tastes like cock!
He was later escorted out of the restaurant with his friends.
–Dawat, E. 58th St.
Overheard by: MissHell
Black guy: And another thing: I’m tired of eating you out every night!
–Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: RelaxLove
Power suit woman on cell: Well, you just have to get on top of it and ride it out.
–Madison Square park
Black chick: That nigger was pussy!
–14th Street & Broadway
HS girl: OK, OK, I got it. This will solve everyone’s problems: Jamal, you need to eat Anna out.
–Union Square
Employee: I’m so gangsta and keep it so real that I think it scares women sometimes.
–Duane Reade, 76th & 1st
Overheard by: Adam Shprintzen
amNew York guy: I wouldn’t mind having her as President. I just don’t want her to turn every building in New York pink. But I’m all for having a woman as President.
–Hoyt-Schemerhorn station
Some kids were making gun noises.
Dad: Nah, the trick is to use a silencer.
–Amity Diner, UES
Overheard by: Anastasia Dyakovskaya
JHS girl: I’ll be damned if I let a seventh-grader ruin my reputation.
–8th Ave. playground
Sweaty fat man on cell: I would feel stupid if I were in a diabetic coma.
–8th Ave. between 21st & 22nd
Wife: I don’t know what you’ve got to be so sad about. Your boss loves you, the kids love you, I love you, the dog loves you!
–JFK airport bar
