A dog pees on a hipster’s leg.
Hipster: Dude! That is so not cool!
–McGolrick Park, Greenpoint
Overheard by: Didi Hylobates
A dog pees on a hipster’s leg.
Hipster: Dude! That is so not cool!
–McGolrick Park, Greenpoint
Overheard by: Didi Hylobates
Girl: …so I told him to suck his own dick if he thinks he can do it any better.
–G train
Overheard by: Ocera
Little boy: Mommy, mommy, do you have a penis?
–E train
Overheard by: Ting
JHS kid: …so I said, “He’s gonna make you stay after class and he’s gonna pull down your fucking pants and shove his fucking cock up your ass!”
–Times Square shuttle
Overheard by: Lizzy
Puerto Rican chick: Ooh, first the wife beaters and now the Axe? I’m not going to be able to keep my hands off of you!
–Walgreens, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Jason
Woman: Shit, if I were homeless I’d move somewhere warm in the winter. New York City is too damn cold!
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Carlos Gantt
Guy on cell: My life is a falafel. No, no, wait, it’s a pita. My life is a pita.
–Broadway & Astor Place
Teen boy: When I get home, I’m gonna get me one of them nutrient shake shits.
–M23 bus
Overheard by: Jon Graboff
Woman: I didn’t like the emu there. I’m not going to like it here.
–Eight Mile Creek, Mulberry Street
Overheard by: james uphoff
Husband: Sex with you is great, but it’s no substitute for pepperoni!
–Stop & Shop supermarket, Ridgewood
Overheard by: Dawn
Queer: My sister is so concerned about her son playing with dolls because it will turn him gay. I’m like, “It’s not because I was playing with dolls that I was gay, it was that I looked at a guy and got a hardon!”.
–Japonica, University Place
Overheard by: Rick T
Patron: They know what I am: drunk, gay, and in search of food!…This tastes like cock!
He was later escorted out of the restaurant with his friends.
–Dawat, E. 58th St.
Overheard by: MissHell
Black guy: And another thing: I’m tired of eating you out every night!
–Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: RelaxLove
Power suit woman on cell: Well, you just have to get on top of it and ride it out.
–Madison Square park
Black chick: That nigger was pussy!
–14th Street & Broadway
HS girl: OK, OK, I got it. This will solve everyone’s problems: Jamal, you need to eat Anna out.
–Union Square
