Williamsburg

Wednesday One-liners Are Bad Ideas

Lesbian: Oh my god! And then all you’d have to do is puke on her and we’d all be even!

–Ginger’s Bar, Park Slope

Guy: Man, don’t worry about kicking that guy’s ass. Like Jesus said, “Turn the motherfucking cheek”, you know?

–Brooklyn Heights

Overheard by: PB

Stalkee: …so then out of the blue I get an email that’s like, “Remember me? I broke up with your neighbor like 6 months ago. Wanna get together?”

–Mugs Ale House, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Greg Rutter

Scalper: Rangers tickets! New York Rangers tickets for sale!

–41st & 7th

Let’s Hope She Means the Deodorant

Puerto Rican chick: Ooh, first the wife beaters and now the Axe? I’m not going to be able to keep my hands off of you!

–Walgreens, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Jason

Bill Gates is the new Brad Pitt

Martha Stewart is on a tabloid cover.

Hipster: Did you know she’s now on that Forbes list?
Sunglasses at night girl: The one with rich people?
Hipster: Yes.
Sunglasses at night girl: She’s not even a movie star.

–Key Foods, Williamsburg

America: The Space Between NY and LA

Girl: I grew up in Sioux City, Iowa.
Guy: Oh, I’ve never been to Iowa…but I’ve been to Idaho.

–Williamsburg party

Overheard by: James G

Mr. Roeper, If You’re Reading This: We’re Sorry.

Boy: My top scary movie of all time is The Shining.
Girl: Oh my god you guys, the scariest movie I have ever seen is Event Horizon.

–Williamsburg

She Has the Black and Gold Sticker on Her Neck

Chick on cell: You know Karen, she’s my best friend…well, not my best friend, my Taiwanese best friend…

–Lorimer Street, Williamsburg

I Thought Mushrooms Were The Bomb in Japan

Guy #1: You know what I found out about Japanese people? They love noodles.
Guy #2: Really?

–Anytime Cafe, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Manlio Lo Conte

Wednesday One-liners

Hipster: We don’t need to go to your stupid party. We’ve got smack, man.

–Bedford Ave, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Mike Epstein

Player: Listen man, all I’ve figured out so far is that you have to stay away from the ones with tattoos on their back.

–Washington Square Park

Close Encounters of the New York Kind

A hobo sits begging with outstretched hands. Another hobo walks by and comments: Aw man, you ain’t even got a cup!

–Soho

Girl in line: Oh, you like cats?
Guy in line: Well, I used to work with tigers.

–Williamsburg bodega

Treasured Art Like Flashdance and Dirty Dancing?

Hipster girl: You know it’s just so sad that I will never be able to see the world through anything but the eyes of a dancer. Because that’s what I am, a dancer. I mean, I will never be able to experience the world through the eyes of say an architect or a designer. Oh my God! Don’t you just pine for the 80s when dance was the treasured art form?

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: Rebecca

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