A hobo sits begging with outstretched hands. Another hobo walks by and comments: Aw man, you ain’t even got a cup!


Girl in line: Oh, you like cats?
Guy in line: Well, I used to work with tigers.

–Williamsburg bodega

Hipster girl: You know it’s just so sad that I will never be able to see the world through anything but the eyes of a dancer. Because that’s what I am, a dancer. I mean, I will never be able to experience the world through the eyes of say an architect or a designer. Oh my God! Don’t you just pine for the 80s when dance was the treasured art form?


Overheard by: Rebecca

20‐something to friend: If I didn’t do so many drugs, I could probably afford to go skiing and shit like that.


Art school student: If I can stop doing heroin, I can do anything!

–Outside School of Visual Arts

Tourist guy to tourist friends: Yeah, I remember when he went to school on shrooms, and then he went to the principal and told him that he was on shrooms.

–40th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: Bones Jones

Father to daughter: Don’t say “no” to drugs. Say “no, thank you.”

–45th St & 5th Ave

Blonde Catholic schoolgirl: Maybe after we pop the E we’ll roll over to 149th Street.

–Q88 Bus

Guy: How do you know I don’t have a uterus?
Girl: Because you’re too skinny to have one!

–Rooftop Party, South Williamsburg

Overheard by: wombat

Hipster #1: Oh look, a Boston Terrier!
Hipster #2: Boston Terriers are so last year…

–Bedford, Williamsburg

Chick (to another chick): So, are you ordained yet?


Little punk rock guy to tall hipster guy, sarcastically: Nice beard.
Tall hipster guy: Yeah, you want me to smash your face!
Little punk rock guy: Shit nigga, now I wish I had a beard to absorb that shit.

–Union Pool Bar, Williamsburg

Overheard by: lil pirate

Stylish 20‐something woman to overweight pug breathing heavily: Well, Winifred, you’re out of breath because you’re out of shape. (pause) No, you’re not fat. You’re voluminous. (pause) Yes, I am aware it’s not all your fault. Mummy likes to watch you eat powder doughnuts. (pause) Pugs that look like they have a coke habit are very funny for mummy, yes they are.

–Central Park

Young hipster to Labrador, as people approach: Come on! Come on! Say hello! (dog remains seated, doing nothing) God! I’ve been training him for months to talk to couples and it just isn’t working!


Woman to her dog: Don’t be an insult to your species! Act like a dog!

–10th St & Broadway

Lady to little barking dog: Shut up. This is not your sidewalk.


Store guy: You want a baloney sandwich or something?
Dude: Nah. The only time I eat baloney is when I’m in the joint.

–Bodega, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Andy K.

Chick: Did you know Craigslist is in like a billion cities but only employs nineteen people?
Guy: That’s not that weird; what would people who work for Craigslist do?
Chick: I dunno…Moderate. Get Craig burritos.