Music

Teenage girl #1: My dad is so weird. He like, listens to albums where people wear blackface.
Teenage girl #2: Is he, like, a Nazi?
Teenage girl #1: No, he grew up in the South.

–Ceci-Cela, Chambers Street

Overheard by: Jon Edelman

British chick: I just solved my lunch problem, because I hate raw cheese.

–27th Street office

Guy: Bitch, you better give me back my donuts or I’ll pull out your weave.

–Washington Heights

Overheard by: Vinson Guthreau

Guy: Nothing like going to Chuck E. Cheese to make you start drinking again.

–82nd & Amsterdam

Overheard by: JY

Lady: This is a yuppie McDonald’s. It’s all middle class people here.

–McDonald’s, 47th Street

Overheard by: Christa Bramberger

As a Brooklyn Brewery delivery truck passed a toddler on the sidewalk yelled: I love beer!

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: tee sul

Bartender: If the Burp Castle ever closes it means the death of classical music in New York.

–Burp Castle bar, E. 7th Street

Guy on cell: Is this like that time where Laura told me that cat food was Lucky Charms?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Cynthia

Girl: Ugh, it’s that guy!
Dude: What guy?
Girl: The lead singer of A-ha is making my life hell.

–92nd & 2nd

Chick: Do you trust me with your CDs? I’ll try not to scratch them or anything.
Dude: I trust you with my balls. I think I’m OK with you touching my CDs.

–111th & Broadway

Overheard by: Djlindee

Guy #1: I had one of the best karaoke experiences of my life the other night.
Guy #2: Seriously?
Guy #1: Oh yeah. And don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my share of great karaoke experiences in my life. There has been few times where I’ve gotten up there and did not receive physical pleasure afterwards.

–40th & 3rd

Overheard by: Greg Rutter

Guy: I wish they played music in these things so it wouldn’t be so awkward.

–Midtown elevator

Overheard by: Gabe Connor

HS girl: Do you listen to 50 Cent? Oh, my god, he is so good!
HS guy: Do you know what they say when you are listening to 50 Cent?
HS girl: What do they say?
HS guy: What are you listening to when you have two quarters next to your ear?
HS girl: Ha, ha…I don’t get it.

–Q46 bus

Overheard by: Ting

Homeboy: Monkeys are just humans who don’t give a shit, that’s all I’m sayin’.

–Park Pizza, 25th St. and Park Ave.

Overheard by: Chadd Derkins

Electrician: The Velvet Underground? Yeah, they was good for a few laughs back in the day.

–Midtown elevator

Overheard by: Michael

Dude: I definitely said, “No abortion jokes at dinner.”

–86th and 2nd

Ballet boy: Is this the Piano Concerto choreographed by Balanchine?
Ballet girl: No.
Ballet boy: Then who is it?
Ballet girl: I don’t know. It’s like…ghetto.

–NYU Skirball Center

Guy: How about The Black Market Babies?
Girl: The Black Market Babies?
Guy: The thing is, there’s already a band called The Backyard Babies. If you know anything about The Backyard Babies, you wouldn’t want to be associated with them.
Girl: Isn’t that who Dana dated?
Guy: No. I got her backstage to meet him. She’s in the dressing room; I used my radio credentials to get her in. He was all ready to make a move and then he started vomiting! That’s when I met Joey Ramone. I was going to complain to Joey but he died shortly after.

–D train