Girl: Who’s that on your t-shirt?
Guy: Well, it says “New York Dolls”…
Girl: Is that Led Zeppelin?
Guy: Um, no, it’s the New York fucking Dolls!
Girl: Asshole.
–Beauty Bar, East 14th Street
Girl: Who’s that on your t-shirt?
Guy: Well, it says “New York Dolls”…
Girl: Is that Led Zeppelin?
Guy: Um, no, it’s the New York fucking Dolls!
Girl: Asshole.
–Beauty Bar, East 14th Street
Man: I’m kind of disturbed by the fact that I’ve wanted to listen to Morrissey lately.
Woman: We can go back to my place and listen to Morrissey later.
Man: No one has sex to Morrissey.
–The Raven, Avenue A
Guy: So what songs do you have on your iPod?
–3rd Avenue & 10th Street
Overheard by: jessica castro
Professor guy: Does anyone know who the celebrity advocate is for sickle cell anemia? Come on people, you can’t be less hip than me.
NYU girl: T-Boz.
Professor guy: That’s right! T-Boz! From what group?
NYU girl: TLC.
Professor guy: Yeah, TLC! And in case you don’t know who they are…
He puts a picture of TLC on the overhea[r]d projector.
Professor guy: I actually have their CD. I put it on at home when I feel like getting jiggy with it. I thought we’d listen to it while you work. Not I Don’t Want No Scrubs, partly because I don’t know what that means.
–Silver Building, Waverly Place
Girl #1: Um, excuse me? Excuse me?…Excuse me, I need to get out here…Excuse me, I need to get out here.
Girl #2: Don’t fucking push me!
Girl #1: I said “excuse me,” you stupid fucking bitch! And by the way, your music sucks!
–L train
Overheard by: Lilit
Teen boy #1: Does your mom know you’re going to the Nine Inch Nails concert?
Teen girl #1: I just turned 15, my mom would shit if she knew I was going to the Nine Inch Nails concert. I told her I was going to miss my PSAT class because you had a surprise for me for my birthday. She thinks you are taking me out for dinner.
Teen girl #2: What will you tell her when you get home after midnight?
Teen girl #1: I don’t know.
Teen boy #2: Tell her that he took you to a Broadway show.
They discuss theater.
Teen girl #1: Oh, I’d love to go to a Broadway show, can you take me sometime?
Teen boy #1: No, that would cost like $500.
Teen girl #2: My parents aren’t even home, they went on a cruise.
Teen girl #1: Can we go on a cruise?
Teen boy #2: A cruise is expensive; it costs like $3,000 a person.
Teen girl #2: It doesn’t cost that much.
Teen boy #2: Well, I don’t know how much it costs, but it fucking costs a lot.
Teen boy #1: Do you have the money for the tickets?
Teen girl #1: No, I only have like $6. I forgot to take my wallet, my lunch and my birth control.
Woman: Let’s raise our kids in the Philippines.
–LIRR
Dude: So are you going to sing karaoke?
Girl: No, I don’t think so. Are you?
Dude: Nah.
Girl: Why not? Can you sing?
Dude: Oh yeah, I can sing. I just don’t read.
–Nevada Smith’s, 3rd Avenue
Guy #1: Isn’t that the Norwegian metal band where the drummer is eight and he killed the lead singer?
Guy #2: No, the drummer ate the lead singer.
–1st Avenue & 6th Street
Hippie guy: Hey. How’s it going?
Dwarf guy: Hey.
Hippie guy: Remember me? We were at band camp together.
–F train
Overheard by: Gretchen S
Queer #1: We are going to the Kelly Clarkson concert in two weeks, you should come.
Queer #2: I have to go home that weekend. They are having a memorial for my grandpa who died. Maybe I can get out of it.
Queer #1: Seriously. I mean people die all the time, but Kelly Clarkson only comes to New York like twice a year.
–Splash, W. 17th Street
