Queer: I think I am going to go running.
Girl: Did you masturbate today? You seem very antsy.
–1st Avenute & 10th Street
Overheard by: Abby Nydam
Queer: I think I am going to go running.
Girl: Did you masturbate today? You seem very antsy.
–1st Avenute & 10th Street
Overheard by: Abby Nydam
Queer: When did this song come out?
DJ: I was in diapers.
Queer: That’s hot!
DJ: You think?
Queer: I won’t date guys in their thirties anymore. They’re so conservative.
DJ: Uh-huh.
Queer: I wanna be your daddy!
DJ: Put it on paper.
–Barrage, W. 47th Street
Overheard by: Nick Salvato
Chick: He was not really completely gay.
Guy: What was he, then?
Chick: He was more just completely fabulous.
–10th & Broadway
Overheard by: jennifer
Girl: I’m pathetic enough but not fabulous enough to be a fag hag.
–The Ansonia, 73rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Betty Noir
Girl #1: You shouldn’t feel sorry for yourself. We are single and fabulous, explanation point.
Girl #2: …Don’t you mean “exclamation point”?
–Garden Cafe, Inwood
Guy #1: …I walked in and the warehouse was just full of tiny little boots.
Guy #2: That sounds fabulous.
–Central Park
Lesbian #1: Do you think she’s a trannie?
Lesbian #2: I don’t know. Would you still do her if she was?
Lesbian #1: She’s so hot that it wouldn’t even matter.
Lesbian #2: Then can you let me off the hook for sleeping with that
hermaphrodite?
–Long Island City
Queer #1: I think watersports are fun!
Queer #2: Disgusting. I’d never! Oh, please, don’t tell me you’ve ever tried it.
Queer #3: I’m a Jew. What, am I going to deny a guest in my own home?
–Cleo’s, 9th Avenue
Queer: Do you know why else I want to move to London? Camdentown. There are lots of punks.
Chick: But wouldn’t there also be a lot of white supremacists?
Queer: I could do white supremacists.
Chick: But aren’t they also homophobic?
Queer: No, just repressed.
–Law office, 50th & 8th
Queer: It was my dealer’s fault. If he had coke I would’ve done coke. He only had crystal, so we did crystal.
–Therapy, W. 52nd Street
Yuppie guy #1: I’ll have a strawberry margarita. As fruity as possible. I just cover it up with a wife and kids.
Yuppie guy #2: Hey, I’m married, and I’m still not comfortable with my sexuality.
Yuppie guy #1: Really?
–79th Street Boat Basin
Overheard by: Andrea Natalie Goldstein
Tween girl #1: His hair is sometimes awful, but it’s sometimes so perfect.
Tween girl #2: I think that’s what gay hair is like.
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: emily clinch
Queer on cell: Wear tights…No, you don’t pad it! You just push it up so it looks like a big baked potato, like what dancers do. Just hike it up to the sky!…The bits and the pieces. It’s not very comfortable, but it gives a good visual effect of…mass…What? Pointy? Ew, no! Pointy’s bad! Yich, pointy is such a turnoff.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Michele
