Regular Wednesday One-Liners

Woman: …Then they gave him enemas until it ran clear. Now he hasn’t had a movement in three days. Should I be worried?

–Subway

Suit: Yeah, I just left a floater in the upstairs bathroom.

–44th & 3rd

Ambiguously gay actor: Flowers come out. Girls do not poop, ever. Ever!

–Tisch School of the Arts, NYU

Overheard by: a girl who poops

Freshman chick: I am so not in the mood to take a shit right now.

–Restroom, Hunter College

Cherubic blonde chick to another: You know that ‘BM’ means poop, right?

–Metropolitan Museum of Art

Suit-in-training: Oh, yeah, I do have to take a shit — I forgot.

–NYU Stern Building

Guy waiting for stall: Let’s go gang, push it out! We gotta go out here!

–Manhattan Mall

Overheard by: KeeZ

Posted on April 13, 2020
Actors, All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Hunter, Malls, MoMA, NYU, Poop, Queer guys, Queers, Restaurants & Cafes, Stall Spies, Students, Suits, Turtle Bay

Meet Saul and Jesus

Businessguy #1 If I were gay I would change my name to Paul.
Businessguy #2: Why Paul? I would go with something more Latin.

–A train

Overheard by: Cory Agid

Posted on March 15, 2020
Gays and Lesbians, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Names, On the Subway, People, Places, Queers, Suits, Topics

Ego & Hubris & Wednesday One-liners

Drunk girl: Sometimes, when I look at myself through the microscope of cold, hard objectivity, I think to myself, “God, you are awesome!”

–47th & 9th

Overheard by: Nick Salvato

Posted on March 9, 2020
Body Parts, College, Columbia (& Barnard), Dating, Drinking & Drunk People, Fashion, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Hipsters, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, One-liners, Queers, Relationships, Sex & Relationships, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Me? Oh Thank You, Mr. Perfumed Butt Pirate!

Conducter. Stand clear of the closing doors… Stand clear everyone… Please stand-a clear of the closing doors…. In the front car, you, with the hat, in or out already!
Queer: I think he means you, Mr. Smelly Homeless Man.

–145th St Station

Overheard by: CI

Posted on February 24, 2020
Conductors, Homeless, Public Transportation, Queers, Subway stations, platforms, etc.

You Should Hear What Puerto Ricans Say About Pride

Queer #1: When is the Puerto Rican Day parade?
Queer #2: Omigod, today!
Queer #1: Hmm. Don’t people get gang-raped at those things?
Queer #2: Maybe, I guess? Let’s go!

–West Side Highway & Jane St

Posted on January 3, 2020
Manhattan, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Parades & Festitivites, Puerto Ricans, Queers, Sex, Sex & Relationships, The Village, Violence

It’s Because FTL Killed 40% of His Brain Cells

Guy #1: The horse?
Guy #2: SJP.
Guy #1: S…J…
Guy #2: Oh, for God’s sake: Sarah Jessica Parker! Don’t be so innuendo-challenged; nobody will invite you anywhere!

–Bedford & Clymer, Williamsburg

Posted on November 24, 2019
About Celebrities, Brooklyn, Pop Culture, Queers, TV, Williamsburg

Nor, Unfortunately, Did You Wipe Your Face

Guy #1: Do you want some of my water? I promise I don’t have cooties.
Guy #2: It’s not your cooties I’m worried about, it’s someone else’s.
Guy #1: No, I didn’t suck his dick.

–F train

Overheard by: Victor Villegas

Posted on September 6, 2019
BJs, Gays and Lesbians, Health and Hygiene, Men, On the Subway, Queers, Subway stations, platforms, etc.

The Riddle of the Sphincter: Solved

Teen boy: I don’t see how a gay boy’s booty just expands like that.
Queer bystander: Actually, it doesn’t expand — it rips.
Teen boy: Oh, thanks. I needed that.

–G train

Overheard by:

Posted on August 26, 2019
Asshole, Backdoor, Body Parts, On the Subway, Private Parts, Queer guys, Queers, Sex, Sexuality, Teens

The Eternal Question

Teen boy: No, really, she scares me.
Teen girl: Is that why you tell people you are gay?
Teen boy: What? No!
Teen girl: Are you gay?
Teen boy: I just don’t want to have a girlfriend.
Teen girl: What if she only wanted to have sex?
Teen boy: I am a good person. I have morals.
Teen girl: What if she had bigger boobs?

–R train

Posted on March 14, 2019
Body Parts, Dating, On the Subway, Queers, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Teens

Readers: Answer This Top Overheard Question

Waiter: Oh, how do you know him?
Queer: I was dating him a while back.
Waiter: Really? Did his wife and kids know that?

–Metropol, W. 4th St.

Posted on November 26, 2017
Gays and Lesbians, Infidelity, Queers, Restaurants & Cafes, The Village, Waiters

Queers