Hip Hop girl #1: Yeah, they’re tight, but they make me look good in a mirror.
Hip Hop girl #2: Uh huh.
Hip Hop girl #1: And I like the camel toe.
–22nd & 6th
Queer: My pants are so tight they’re soundproof!
–Bleecker & West 11th
Overheard by: Justin
Queer: She’s very uncomfortable with her face. Well, she is 60. She said to me, “Why can’t I just grow old? Why can’t I just grow old like everyone else?” And I wanted to say, because you’re Farrah Fawcett, that’s why.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Valerie Goodman
Black woman: This here is Chelsea. It’s where all the rich homosexuals live.
–18th Street between 7th & 8th
Teenage kid: There are some hot Chinese bitches at this stop, son!
–Fulton Street G station
Overheard by: Thomas Bugarin
Woman: Well, I’m in Soho now…
–Union Square
Overheard by: Davis McDavis
Queer: Oh, I went to Queens once. By accident. I was coming back from La Guardia and the taxi driver said he was taking me on a shortcut.
–Starlight, Avenue A
Overheard by: Lukas
Thug: Next stop: Ghettoville, USA! That’s real America, none of this Japanese-American bullshit. Mmmm…smell that? Smells like the East Village!
–A train
Guy: This is the new Wall Street Times building.
–41st & 8th construction site
Man: See, that’s the one. If I was gonna write it a letter, I would begin, “Dear Ugliest Building in New York City”.
–Westin Hotel, Times Square
Overheard by: Kayla Cagan
Guy on cell: Bond Street? It’s north of Houston Street so it’s not in Soho. But I don’t know what the neighborhood is called.
–City Hall Park
Girl: How do you like NYU so far?
Guy: I like it a lot.
Girl: So, are you at least bi-curious yet?
–8th & Broadway
Overheard by: Kelvin M Loh
Guy: Hey, I haven’t seen you in, like, two years.
Girl #1: Yeah, not since that time we made out at Cristina’s party…then you went to Paris.
Guy: …I’m gay now.
Girl #1: Oh.
Girl #2: NYU boys should really come with warning labels.
–Waverly Building elevator, Waverly Place
Chick to guys loudly singing ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ : That song can’t turn you gay!
–Village Halloween Parade
Overheard by: That eavesdropper over there
Girl #1: I thought it was gross that he butters his bread on both sides.
Girl #2: Ew! He butters his bread on both sides?
Old woman: Is he married or something? I mean to be that particular…
Girl #3: No, he just wants to be published.
–Shun Lee Palace, East 55th Street
Overheard by: Andrew Saint-John Goodwin
Queer: Want to apologize to everyone who you cut in front of?
Chick: Fuck you!
Queer: Ew! Well anyway, we hope you had a good time in there.
Chick: Fuck all of you!
Queer: You probably took a shit in there, didn’t you? I bet you did! Fat girls are always shitting!
–Slipper Room, Orchard Street
Guido on cell: Yeah, there was bitches dancin’ on the bar and shit…No, no, my fingers is cold…
Bag lady: Fuck your fingers! I ain’t got shoes on, ya dumb twink!
–48th & 8th
Overheard by: Fish the Magish
Dude: What about him?
Chick: “Oh, hell no. I ain’t no fattybanger!
–Union Square station
Overheard by: Sarah Booz
Woman: …Then they gave him enemas until it ran clear. Now he hasn’t had a movement in three days. Should I be worried?
–Subway
Suit: Yeah, I just left a floater in the upstairs bathroom.
–44th & 3rd
Ambiguously gay actor: Flowers come out. Girls do not poop, ever. Ever!
–Tisch School of the Arts, NYU
Overheard by: a girl who poops
Freshman chick: I am so not in the mood to take a shit right now.
–Restroom, Hunter College
Cherubic blonde chick to another: You know that ‘BM’ means poop, right?
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Suit-in-training: Oh, yeah, I do have to take a shit — I forgot.
–NYU Stern Building
Guy waiting for stall: Let’s go gang, push it out! We gotta go out here!
–Manhattan Mall
Overheard by: KeeZ
Businessguy #1 If I were gay I would change my name to Paul.
Businessguy #2: Why Paul? I would go with something more Latin.
–A train
Overheard by: Cory Agid
Drunk girl: Sometimes, when I look at myself through the microscope of cold, hard objectivity, I think to myself, “God, you are awesome!”
–47th & 9th
Overheard by: Nick Salvato
