Wednesday One-liners Mispronounce Zoology

Woman: Oh my god, I love my cat. My cat is my reason for living. My cat is like a dog, only in cat form…

–34th & 8th

Hawker guy: AM New York! The rooster of newspapers! Find out why I’m a cock-a-doodle-do-ing!

–42nd & Lexington

Suit on cell: I can’t wait to get back to Boston. This town is like an elephant graveyard for my exes. Yeah, instead of elephants, all my exes come here to rest.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Matt Murdock

Girl: I hit a firefly driving up there and my windshield was all gooey, slimy and shiny…so I thought of you.

–Washington Square

Queer: Ohmigod, I thought that was the ugliest baby in the world, but it’s a bulldog.

–West 4th & Cornelia

Overheard by: Raphael

Girl: I’ve never been pooped on. At least not by a bird.

–71st & 1st

Guy: …yes, I’m going to put that in my octopus.

–St. Mark’s Place

Overheard by: Jenny + Pete

Girl: Whoa, it smells like hamster piss right here.

–1st & 1st

Teen boy: Man, next time I see him, it’s over. I’ll throw worms on his ass if I have to.

–Fordham Road

Crazy guy: Want to see my website? It’ll cost you. Want to see it? $100. Naw, you don’t have that sort of money. I need to jazz it up. It has pictures of dead animals on it.

–D train

Overheard by: Taybin Rutkin