Tourist man #1: We can probably find it at a Wal-Mart.
Tourist man #2: Yeah, Wal-Mart.
Tourist man #1: So let’s just keep walking until we find one. Keep your eyes open.
Tourist man #3: Well, in any case, we shouldn’t keep standing here on this corner looking at this map. We’ll get mugged.
–30th & 7th
AM New York guy: AM New York! AM!
Metro lady: Shaddap!
AM New York guy: AM! AM!
Metro lady: Shaddap! Shaddap! Metro!
–42nd & Park
Overheard by: Jodie Goodnough
AM New York lady: AM New York! They ain’t playin’.
–53rd & 7th
Overheard by: Camodee D
Man with briefcase: Is the boss in?
Store guy: No. He’s in back. What do you want? Why?
Man with briefcase: Because I can help you. You need me. Does anyone owe you money?
Store guy: What?
Man with briefcase: Do you have any non-paying accounts? Has anyone been skipping payments?
Store guy: Why?
Man with briefcase: Because I run a collection service. Here’s my card. Does anyone owe you money? Do you need to collect money from anyone?
Store guy: Why?
–Import/export store, 29th & 6th
Woman on cell: I’m at Fiddler on the Roof…A play.
–45th & 7th
Overheard by: Hope Abrams
Orthodox man on cell: $700,000…this is nothing to do with money…I just want to get even with that guy…the one you wanted to smack…Goldberg…he’s a liar and a thief and he wanted me to deal with a Gentile.
–Madison & 33rd
JAP: Sorry, I just get very Jewish about my weed.
–Madison & 97th
Overheard by: drew grant
Waiter: If the Health Department showed up now we’d be out of business tomorrow.
–Barrymore’s, W. 45th Street
Fat guy #1: So I go in and he’s like, “This definitely isn’t a fun job or anything. It’s not an exciting job. This isn’t one of those jobs where you going to be happy about coming into the office in the morning. This job isn’t, you know, you’re not going to learn anything at this job. But you’ll make a lot of money.”
Fat guy #2: Cool.
Fat guy #1: Yeah, so I can sell my soul, y’know? I’m like, “I’ll sell crack to kids if I could make a lot of money.”
–E train
Old Black guy: The thing about Girls Gone Wild is that most of them are strippers. Girls don’t really go wild.
–D train
Overheard by: pixelvisions
Woman: One day they have Angelina sleeping with Tom Cruise, now they say she’s with Brad.
–Food Emporium, Broadway & 68th
Hipster chick: You know, they have all these sodas with added lime flavor, but why don’t they ever do Sprite with lime?
–14th & 7th
Overheard by: Melissa
Huge guy: So he comes up to me and gives me the $600 that he owes me. I took one look at the bills and thought this was the worst counterfeit job I’ve ever seen so I beat the shit out of him…Did you know they have a new $100 bill?
–35th & 8th
Overheard by: Paul Ferris
Woman: Sometimes I see underwear I don’t even understand.
–Victoria’s Secret, 82nd & Broadway
Overheard by: djlindee
Pre-school teacher lady: If they didn’t build the subway, we wouldn’t have Home Depot or Lowe’s.
–NY Transit Museum
Overheard by: Trix
Girl on cell: Do you think any galleries will be open on Sunday?
–21st & Broadway
Woman: He didn’t come here to be Korean; he moved here to be a hipster. Then he realized he could open a store, and he turned Korean.
–2nd Avenue & 6th Street
Private School girl: So is, like, everything in this place by Chanel?
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Man: What do you mean, you ran out of keys? How does a hotel run out of keys?
–The Hotel on Rivington
Overheard by: Joe Quint
Queer: Well I figured I make $7 an hour at Journey’s working full time. So if I cut back to part time and get a second job making $7 an hour, I’ll be making $14 an hour and I can pay all my bills!
–Nederlander Theater, West 41st Street
Overheard by: Nomi Malone
Man: Yo, what are you selling?
Vendor: Gelato.
Man: What’s that?
Vendor: Read the sign…Fuck you.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Chris
Pedicab driver: I lost all my money there.
Tourist lady: Oh, really?
Pedicab driver: Yes. I was rich once. And a genius.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Fern
