Girl: Is that soup place the Soup Nazi? Did he go out of business?
Guy: Yeah, ever since Soup V.E. Day…
–55th & 8th
Overheard by: Lindsay Robertson
Girl: Is that soup place the Soup Nazi? Did he go out of business?
Guy: Yeah, ever since Soup V.E. Day…
–55th & 8th
Overheard by: Lindsay Robertson
Waitress: Hey, would you mind taking that table for me?
Waiter: How come?
Waitress: That guy’s just a little too sassy for me.
–Chat n’ Chew, E. 16th Street
Overheard by: Gus Colletti
Clerk: What’s in the box you’re shipping?
Customer: A computer.
Clerk: Where’s it going?
Customer: Spain.
Clerk: Is that domestic?
Customer: No, that’d be fairly international.
–Kinko’s, Duane Street
Overheard by: Joshua Cody
Girl: Bitch, for the last time, Spain is not part of Latin America!
–Columbia University dorm
Boy, 10 #1: What’s credit? How do you get credit?
Boy, 10 #2: It’s like, you know when you take out a book with your library card? If you don’t return it like forever, then you get bad credit.
–6 train
Overheard by: bluesdog
Suit #1: So what did you think of the title I handed in for [Henderson]’s new job?
Suit #2: I was in Albany when you sent that out. I didn’t get a chance to read it.
Suit #1: I was going to write “potentate” but I wasn’t sure that I could spell it!
Suit #3: Well, most Caesars were murdered…
–Burger Heaven, 49th St.
Hipster girl #1: Yeah, so she has her own nail business now. You know, she mixes her own colors and everything.
Hipster girl #2: Yeah, kind of like Satan.
–79th & Broadway
Guy #1: Hey, what did you do this weekend?
Guy #2: Dude, I bought a crock pot.
Guy #1: Awesome.
–80 Hansen Pl, Brookyln
Old Jewish lady: How are you today?
Old Jewish man: If I sold ice cream, I’d be great. If I sold ice cream in Central Park, that would be perfect. But me? I sell chickens in Bedford.
–8th St & Bedford Ave
Young boy to another, whispering: I’m gonna knock you off ,and then I’m gonna steal your M&Ms.
–FAO Schwartz
Overheard by: amused tourist
Cabbie: Something wicked just crossed my mind. One dark night I’m going to come here and steal all the stop signs.
–Roosevelt Island
Overheard by: Suriya
Angry queer suit as a Honda’s car alarm goes off: What the fuck?! What the fuck?! Nobody would ever try to steal that piece of shit!
–72nd & Broadway
Overheard by: C. Gray
Thug: Look, these glasses are f’real! I bought them off a nigga who had just stolen them from the jewelry store!
–125th & Broadway
Hipster chick on cell: Why don’t you just stay at a real hotel where you can steal all the soaps and stuff?
–2nd St, between Bowery & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Jake
Little boy to little girl while nanny is distracted: I love outdoor shopping, because it’s easier to steal things!
–11th & University
Overheard by: Cooper Cheatham
Guy: Yo, did you hear what Bush wants to do? He wants to get rid of financial aid for college.
Girl: Really?
Guy: Yeah…soon we all gon’ have to be drug dealers. Seeing crackheads will be normal.
–Washington Heights
Overheard by: clari