Business and Commerce

Let’s Move Some Wednesday One-liners Product

California chick: I was doing ketchup commercials in fourth grade; imagine where I could be now.

–Gatsby’s, Spring Street

DVD bootlegger: Counterfeit? How can these be counterfeit products if they haven’t even made the real ones yet?

–34th & 7th

Girl: Ohmigod! She keeps sending me tea! She’ll send me tea but not money! I don’t need tea! I need money! She’s freakin’ crazy!

–MailBoxes Etc., Columbus & 82nd

Overheard by: Sophia

Girl: That’s why I wanna take a business class, so my album can sell.

–BMCC

Overheard by: Goadster

Street vendor: Rims, Rims…buy some rims. Don’t have to own a car to buy rims!

–28th & 5th

Overheard by: Larissa Kyzer

Boy: Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention please? My name is Dante, and I’m not selling candy for my basketball team. I’m selling candy for myself, trying to get some cash in my pockets.

–4 train

Blockbuster girl: Well, Sideways is supposed to be totally good. It won a Grammy for Best Picture.

–Astoria Blockbuster

Overheard by: L.C.P.

There Were Piles of Matzoh Balls Everywhere

Girl: Is that soup place the Soup Nazi? Did he go out of business?
Guy: Yeah, ever since Soup V.E. Day…

–55th & 8th

Overheard by: Lindsay Robertson

Sassy is the New Black

Waitress: Hey, would you mind taking that table for me?
Waiter: How come?
Waitress: That guy’s just a little too sassy for me.

–Chat n’ Chew, E. 16th Street

Overheard by: Gus Colletti

The PC Keeps Going on Siesta

Clerk: What’s in the box you’re shipping?
Customer: A computer.
Clerk: Where’s it going?
Customer: Spain.
Clerk: Is that domestic?
Customer: No, that’d be fairly international.

–Kinko’s, Duane Street

Overheard by: Joshua Cody

Girl: Bitch, for the last time, Spain is not part of Latin America!

–Columbia University dorm

At Least They’re Reading

Boy, 10 #1: What’s credit? How do you get credit?
Boy, 10 #2: It’s like, you know when you take out a book with your library card? If you don’t return it like forever, then you get bad credit.

–6 train

Overheard by: bluesdog

Et Tu, Barry?

Suit #1: So what did you think of the title I handed in for [Henderson]’s new job?
Suit #2: I was in Albany when you sent that out. I didn’t get a chance to read it.
Suit #1: I was going to write “potentate” but I wasn’t sure that I could spell it!
Suit #3: Well, most Caesars were murdered…

–Burger Heaven, 49th St.

Who Holds the Patent on Alizarian Crimson

Hipster girl #1: Yeah, so she has her own nail business now. You know, she mixes her own colors and everything.
Hipster girl #2: Yeah, kind of like Satan.

–79th & Broadway

Brooklyn’s a Lot Quieter Since the Pod People Moved In

Guy #1: Hey, what did you do this weekend?
Guy #2: Dude, I bought a crock pot.
Guy #1: Awesome.

–80 Hansen Pl, Brookyln

Sometimes I Put a Cherry on Top, But It’s Not the Same

Old Jewish lady: How are you today?
Old Jewish man: If I sold ice cream, I’d be great. If I sold ice cream in Central Park, that would be perfect. But me? I sell chickens in Bedford.

–8th St & Bedford Ave

Wednesday One-Liners Like to Think of It As Borrowing

Young boy to another, whispering: I’m gonna knock you off ,and then I’m gonna steal your M&Ms.

–FAO Schwartz

Overheard by: amused tourist

Cabbie: Something wicked just crossed my mind. One dark night I’m going to come here and steal all the stop signs.

–Roosevelt Island

Overheard by: Suriya

Angry queer suit as a Honda’s car alarm goes off: What the fuck?! What the fuck?! Nobody would ever try to steal that piece of shit!

–72nd & Broadway

Overheard by: C. Gray

Thug: Look, these glasses are f’real! I bought them off a nigga who had just stolen them from the jewelry store!

–125th & Broadway

Hipster chick on cell: Why don’t you just stay at a real hotel where you can steal all the soaps and stuff?

–2nd St, between Bowery & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Jake

Little boy to little girl while nanny is distracted: I love outdoor shopping, because it’s easier to steal things!

–11th & University

Overheard by: Cooper Cheatham

© 2026 OverheardinNewYork.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist