Yarmulke guy: You play the guitar?
Blue collar guy: Yeah, but not Havah Nagila or anything.
–3 train
Yarmulke guy: You play the guitar?
Blue collar guy: Yeah, but not Havah Nagila or anything.
–3 train
Construction guy #1: Yeah apparently, they just eat and eat and eat
until they can’t anymore, and then go and throw it all up.
Construction guy #2: Wow, that’s what skinny girls do?
Construction guy #1: Yeah, it’s called bulimia or something. I think
it’s actually a disease.
Construction guy #2: Yeah, but a disease that makes you look good, am I right?
–City College
Overheard by: Barbara Seifert
Construction guy #1: Hey, pretty boy! Whatcha got under that skirt?
Guy in skirt: Your girlfriend’s fantasy.
Construction guy #2: Oh, shit. He got you there, dude.
–Broadway & 39th
Butcher: Would you like anything else today?
Lady: Not that I can think of. As a matter of fact I haven’t really been able to think of much all day. Must be all the vicodin….So how do I prepare this?
Butcher: It’s lunchmeat. You just eat it.
–Greenpoint market
Waitress: Hey, would you mind taking that table for me?
Waiter: How come?
Waitress: That guy’s just a little too sassy for me.
–Chat n’ Chew, E. 16th Street
Overheard by: Gus Colletti
Truck driver: Hey you!…Honey…yeah, you…you’re number one…you’re the best of the day, you win!
–Long Island City
Woman: I don’t usually spend $40 on chapstick, but I really wanted it.
–1st & 52nd
MTA guy: So, I was like just hoppin’ outta the shower feeling all Irish Spring fresh and shit and I come into the living room and Shawny is sitting on the fucking couch. I was like, “Yo, Shawny…get off the couch!” He looked at me and growled and I was like, “So that‘s how it is?” I went and got a pair of gloves and a wiffle ball bat, came back in and was like, whack, and the little bitch totally chomped onto my leg and shit. I dragged him like that into the kitchen and sprayed into his mouth with Lysol and he hid under the kitchen table. Somebody gotta be the master in the house, yo.
–N train
Bronx guy: I mean, he’s fuckin’ a 12-year-old boy right now, as we speak.
Transit worker: I hear ya.
–Grand Central
Brit: Excuse me, do you know where the Photography Museum is please?
Newsagent: Chocolate Museum?…Hey mamma, you know where the Chocolate Museum is?
Mamma: I never heard of no Chocolate Museum.
Brit: Not to worry. Thanks anyway.
–53rd St. Newsstand
Overheard by: Shaun Riordan
Woman on cell: I feel bad about ripping the kid off, but…
–Fort Greene Park
Overheard by: Zoe
Suit: Well, apparently I’m part psychic and part asshole.
–Union Square
Overheard by: quite the combo
Blue collar guy: I stopped giving to panhandlers 10 years ago. This guy hit me up every day at my stop and one day I gave him a sandwich and some cigarettes. I watched him and he threw the sandwich away. I went over to him and worked him over pretty bad. I dumped the trash can and took out the sandwich and then took the cigarettes away from him. Then I knocked him down again and took all the money out of his pockets. I was really mad when he threw that sandwich away. Now I never give anything to those guys.
Suit: Yep…
–1 train, Houston St
Overheard by: Amused Minnesotan
Woman on cell: You see, this is why you just can’t be nice to people. I was nice to her once, once! And now she thinks we’re friends. Like I need this!
–Bus stop near Radio City Music Hall
Yuppie on cell: I don’t give a fuck about them. As long as I’m on their will, I don’t really give a shit.
–34th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Gunita
Girl: So my grandma died last week and it sucked so bad, I had to drive all the way to Hartford on Saturday and I totally missed the huge sale at H&M.
–Statue of Liberty
Overheard by: SuziQ
